2003 not so nice mail

I reckon if one was to parade around various wards, stakes etc as the "prophet" and advise members that the Lord will be here tomorrow....how many gullible persons would head down south or someone suddenly fakes a cardiac arrest and be 'supposedly' bought back to life...but there's a twist....the person bought back has a 'message' and dethrones the prophet through the voice of the people.....or you...YOU who started this whole dumb idea of getting people to voice against the LORD's work....how about you tasting everlasting death...gnashing of teeth.....to not live eternally....I believe someone will be very bery very sad unless steps of repentance are taken... - 12/30/2003 - anon

For what it is worth....I joined the Church when I was 22 and have been an ernest student of the scriptures and teachings of the latter day prophets for 34 years. I think I have all of Elder McConkie's books.

There are four brethren in this dispensation who have been the great scriptorians; Joseph Smith, Joseph F. Smith, Joseph Fielding Smith, and Bruce R. McConkie.

I have studied their lives, their writings, their works among men and know by the power of the Holy Ghost that they were Prophets of God.

Oddly enough those who have distanced themselves from the Church having been overcome by the wiles of the devil or who make a living trying to tear down the faith of members love to attack these Brethren the most.

My advice to those rancoring apostates who think they are cute on this site by dispariging the Lord's annointed is: Repent ye, Repent ye before it is everlastingly too late! Joseph Smith actually did see the Father and the Son in the Sacred Grove. He did in fact receive the plates from Moroni and translated the plates by the gift and power of God. The ancient priesthood has in fact been restored to the earth. Each Prophet who has presided over the Church has been authorized to exercise all necessary priesthood keys.

The Gospel net catches all types of fish. Some are salmon, others tuna and some are ratfish. Since the beginning of this work there have always been apostates and chase after the Church like yelping dogs. I believe it was Elder Maxwell who said "You can leave the Church, but you can't leave it alone." - 12/22/2003 - from John the unworthy disciple

Hello and greetings.I want to say a few things about the church as a whole ok.We do alot of good around the world and I know for a fact that we believe in Jesus as our Christ and Lord.Everyone always want to point out bad points the see or bad people they might meet and say this is the MORMONS we are not bad people,I read the bible and I know Jesus.security is not a easy job either.What you have to put up with is crazy.All churchs have some form of security.We do a crappy job but a important one now days.If you dont have anything nice to say dont speak.Stop all this negitive stuff think positive ok.We all are not bad.Merry Christmas.a Dandy Danite at heart. - 12/22/2003 - Elder D.J.t

I wanted to say that although VERY few of the photos here are funny, ALOT of them are horrible!! I am not a hater, I understand that Mormons have a very STRICT way of life, but they also have the WAY of life that God really wants us all to live... And even though I remain an inactive Mormon because I myself find it hard to live by their standards, I believe that some of the photos on here are QUITE harsh. BUT as always this is a free country just please keep in mind that GOD loves us all no matter WHAT we believe or NOT believe...MORMON or not MORMON we are ALL God's children (and yes I know you have heard it all before!! So have I and it took me quite a few years to get it but I am glad I finally do... Thanks for listening... - 12/22/2003 - from DanaNicole26

What kind of garbage are you coming out about the Mormon Church. I take offense of anything bad that you have to day about the church, Lampoon or not - 12/20/2003 - anon

Well I think this is a load of non-sense. How dare ya'll mock the church. You will pay one day and I promise it's not going to be fun. Stop with this non-sense while your'e ahead! - 12/20/2003 - anon

Um..........You guys suck...Making fun of the great LDS church.......you guys suck - 12/20/2003 - anon

Please be more considerate of others beliefs. It is offensive to mock what I believe is sacred. Have a peaceful Christmas. ;-) - 12/20/2003 - from justin.mckeown@zoom.co.uk

Editor's note: Justin, please send an identical email to Gordon B. Hinckley whose own personal website currently contains this phrase, Joseph Smith History verse 19 - I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: “they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.?

So Justin, go share that with all the local denominations in your neighborhood and inform them that they are "abominations and corrupt." Now mocking sounds even less benign compared to what your own prophet promotes.

______________________________________

I predict that the wicked will burn and those that take the gospel for naught and that cast pearls before swine will recieve thier just reward(Hell). - 12/20/2003 - from chadwbennett at yahoo.com

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD MY COMMENTS TO THIS "RIGHTEOUS RANT" BOX. FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU OR WHOEVER IS HOSTING THIS WEB SITE HAS TAKEN SO MUCH TIME TO PULL THIS TOGETHER. YES, I AM MORMON, AND VERY ACTIVE IN THE CHURCH. I HAVE BEEN A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH SINCE 1972, AND HAVE SERVED A MISSION. BEEN IN SEVERAL BISHOPRICS, AND HELD SEVERAL CALLINGS FROM SCOUTMASTER, TO SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER. I AM NOT FOLLOWING BLINDLY, AND JUST ACCEPTING ALL THINGS TAUGHT TO ME BY THE GENERAL AUTHORITIES OF THE CHURCH. I DO UNDERSTAND THAT PEOPLE ARE HUMAN, AND MISTAKES IN JUDGEMENT ARE MADE. BUT, IT IS MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, THAT ANY ERRORS IN JUDGEMENT, ARE OVERSHADOWED BY HONEST AND SINCERE PEOPLE DOING THE BEST THAT THEY CAN. I AM NOT OFFENDED BY THIS SIGHT, IN FACT I FIND ALOT OF THE "LATTER DAY LAMPOON" VERY FUNNY. HOWEVER, THERE ARE SOME PARTS OF THIS SITE THAT I FEEL ARE IN VERY BAD TASTE. IN REGARDS TO THIS, MY DEAR OLD GRANNY USED TO HAVE A SAYING: "WHEN YOU POINT YOUR FINGER AT SOMEONE, YOU GOT THREE POINTING RIGHT BACK AT YOU." IN CLOSING, AS A MORMON FOR SOME THIRTY ONE YEARS, I HAVE FOUND NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS IN MY BELIEF. I AM FAR FROM A PERFECT PERSON, BUT I KNOW THAT I AM A BETTER PERSON BECAUSE OF MY MEMBERSHIP IN THE CHURCH. "I AIN'T WHAT I WANT TO BE, & I AIN'T WHAT I SHOULD BE, BUT FOR SURE I AIN'T WHAT I USED TO BE." PLEASE FEEL FREE TO POST THIS IN YOUR "RIGHTEOUS RANT" IF YOU WISH. - 12/20/2003 - LARRY MARCHMAN

I'd say you were evil if you weren't so obvyoustly sad and lonesome people. - 12/20/2003 - anon v

whoever made this site is stupid and will no dobt pay in the end. We believe that, but you don't and thats ok. But you don't have to make fun of us if you don't have anything good to say don't say it at all. Im not going to insult you because i don't know you in person but don't you have a conscience to think to yourself " Why am I hurting innocent people by making these untrue comments on this site" what is wrong with you people are you jealous of us or just have notihng better to do with yourselves. We as the church teach good things and try to promote good in this world. We want the best for everybody and want to try to get everyone to the celestial kingdom (heaven) if you do not want to go thats fine just dont make this a big joke. We incrediable faith and take our teachings seriously and are dedicated to our lifestlyes all these kies that go around are untrue including the ones on the media and particularly this horrible site. I hope somebody takes action against this site and sues you or just takes it down, why dont you all do yourselves a favour and take it down right now because i guarantee we the good will prevail and you the evil will be punished as usual. - 12/15/2003 - anon

Pathetic! This is only funny to people who have left the church and are begging for someone to tell them that it was OK to do so. Sorry, but I’m happy being a member and love the Prophet Joseph Smith. I’ve always found it curious how those who dislike or don’t believe Joseph always hold him up to perfection and then cry foul when he’s found not to be. He was a true prophet with imperfections like all of us. I think that the fruits of his labors, embodied in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, are a tremendous force for good in this world. The only way for you to know for sure whether Joseph was telling the truth is for God to tell you, and that’s between you and Him. - 12/14/2003 - anon

When you die, and you face Jesus Christ, he might have some more words for you. And then again maybe he won't because you will be so ashamed of yourselves there will be nothing to say. - 12/09/2003 - anon

You are a sad example of mortality - 12/08/2003 - anon

guys, you had my attention on this site until i read the stuff in mormonia. particularly the "jesus wants me..." song. i knew at that point that this stuff is wrong. that's not informative, that's just mean and vulgar and it certainly isn't christian. thought you'd want to know. - 12/07/2003 - from tedheap@comcast.net

This has got to be the funniest hate site on the web. Not one word of truth. Better than Saturday morning cartoons ROTFL - 12/01/2003 - anon

You people are sick twisted freaks!!!!! Masterbation is something that I struggled with for years, but guess what with Gods help I over came that and Yes I AM VERY HAPPY!!!! I'm engaged to a beautiful woman and will not even begin to except anyone's view that masterbation is any better for you than any other bad habbit like smoking. You should all be ashamed, and even though I'm sure you do not care, all of this will stand against you at judgement day! - 11/26/2003 - Boyd Jr.

I think you people are SICK and should be ashamed,Any one who actually sends you a "LOVE MAIL" is just as disgusting as you - 11/26/2003 - anon

Hello. I was unfortunate to find your website by accident while doing a google search on one of the respected leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I felt duped by your website title title of "Later-Day Saints" laughing together. What a misnomer! You seem like you should have the intelligence to at least be honest in your naming of your website.

Perhaps "Ex latter- day saints horribly mocking and ridiculing, taking things out of context at practicing Latter-Day Saints" would be more appropriate? It is terribly hurtful and shameful the extent you have gone to mock leaders and programs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And it is equally shocking the extent to which you are attempting to lead people astray.

It is obvious that many of those who contribute to your website have been hurt, offended, or misunderstood. All of us have felt that to one degree or another at some point in our lives.

Anything I would say here, I am sure you would mock! ...well I have made my point, someday I hope those of you who are involved with this website will realize that Heavenly Father and Jesus Chist do love you. I just hope you will show your love for Them by how you live--it is something me and all of us in this world need to do.

You are definitely not demonstrating love for your Saviour by maintaining this shameful website. He is the one as they say that you are hurting by these contributions of mostly garbage or one-sided out of context stories. Anyway, take care adn god Bless you, in areas of your life other than this website. - 11/24/2003 - from jv

I just wanted to let you know that I find this site offensive and not the least bit amusing. - 11/24/2003 - anon

Get another hobby. You sound stupid. - 11/20/2003 - anon

this website is for the sick and twisted minds of the people who felt that some way or another they had been hurt by a mormon which is what i don't understand because i am a mormon and my church is like a home away from home. I am 14 and already im seeing the insults of what u give the mormans not only on the internet but also at school or at work. what i don't understand is what is about this church that makes you scum so jealous. if someone from the church of jesus christ of latter day saint church as hurt u in any way shape or form i suggest u go to a local mormon church before u cast ur judgement on the whole church because of one persons act of unkindness. to all u pussy insulters who are scared to leave your name ill leave mine to show u that a 14 year old boy has more balls then u

I have a question about the ex-mormans if they are so whitty or so brave to leave their insults about not only my church but also my family then y don't they leave their name like i will u scum! - 11/16/2003 - from Samuel Steven Rollings II

this is the most dumbest website i have ever seen ,, you should get a real job instead of making up mean remarks of people and things you do not know about. LOVE, me - 11/16/2003 - anon

Real shame on you!!! - 11/16/2003 - from a real LDS

I think that you all have nothing better to do with your lives than to sit around and bitch about bullshit info about the mormons! - 11/11/2003 - anon

good job, I congratulate all of you on making fun of people's beliefs. Your parents have taught all of you well. What religion are you? Why don't I make a web site mocking your church for financial or whatever kind of gain. Thats a good way to get attention from people. Isn't it. By the way Brigham is not spelled Brighem ya Genuis's. Good research. I'll show you guys some respect though. Suck it. - 11/10/2003 - Shan the man

this is one of the most pornographic gay web sites I have ever seen - 1/09/2003 - anon

I'm kinda offended by the material in this website. I think jokes are great, my friends always comment on how much I laugh. But, there's a fine line between funny and offensive. You've taken very sacred material and completely ripped it apart. It was okay for a little bit, but you've gone too far. I hope some day you can learn what The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints really teaches and maybe influence those who use the internet in a good way. - 11/06/2003 - anon
Editor's note: The Lampoon staff was truly disappointed and depressed by your being "kinda offended" by the material on our website. We strive to "totally offend and enrage" our readers. We appreciate your feedback and will lengthen our stride to create future material guaranteed to raise your self-rightousenss and holy hackles to all new heights.

why do you waste your time with the lds (latter day suckers)? you have to admit that they're a pretty easy target. - 11/04/2003 - from george r.

Hello guys,

I am a member of the church, and I took a few moments out of my day to check out your sight when I stumbled across it. I myself am an actor/writer, and have been involved in several production that have not been looked at by the church with favorable eyes, but my question to you is, why all the mockery? Are you angry with the church, or are you angry with some of the members? I myself have had many a run in with leaders and other memebers of the church, but at the heart of it I know that their narrow views are not god's view.

Do you know what? I realize that this email is a waste of time. I'll send it anyways, but I wish you the best. I hope that some day your anger subsides.
Editor's note: You're right. This was a waste of time, but we wish you the best and hope that some day your "bull shit detectors" activate. What a coincidence, Joseph Smith, Jr was also an actor and writer. BTW - The god of Mormonism suffers from "narrow views" of the universe."

I HAVE NOT BEEN TO CHURCH (MORMON) FOR YEARS , BUT UNLIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT ME THIS I DO NOT MAKE FUN OF SOMEONES BASIC BELIEFS. I AM A DECENDANT OF A HANDCART PIONEER . EVEN THOUGH I CANT LIVE THE RELIGION MYSELF , I DO NOT LAUGH AT THE POEPLE WHO CHOOSE TO DO SO. - 11/02/2003 - anon

wow, i wonder how long did it take you to do that. You sure how a big immagination. You most of been bored of your mind more like you don't have a life. Why don't you critize your own religion. If you don't like LDS then don't say anything about it. LDS members don't go around talking shit about other religions because we respect them and other opinion. If you feel that you need to write about them and critize them then there must be something right about that religion because it seems to me that it bothers you. They must be doing some thing right. Go do someting positive and focus your time on something productive. - 11/02/2003 - anon

Sick, purely aick and twisted. I am disgusted how ye slander and mock the LDS CHurch and Jesus Christ. Here are some of my arguements that bode poorly for ye: If the BOM is a fraud, how Did Smith know so much about Arabia? Mesoamerica? Hebrew language structures not present in the Bible? What about the ancient documents that support the Book of Abraham? Who else fulfills the 2,300 day prophecy better than Smith (see Daniel 8:14 and www.Bibleman.net)? Yet, the LDS Church MUST be false because exmormons like ye exist... - 11/02/2003 - from Nephi_Smith_Plates@hotmail.com

This is the most ridiculous website ever. I hope you realoze what fools you're making out of yourselves just to put other people down. You have no point in doing this. What did the Mormon church ever do to you? I can't even look up some serious about the Church without popping up to this stupid site. You could atleast make it so that normal people who actually have a life could look up things without coming here. - 10/27/2003 - anon

this is a terrible website. I find it odd that you have to rip down the church because you couldn't live by it's teachings. Find a new hobby bud - 10/27/2003 - natureboyaz@hotmail.com

"Latter-Day Saints Laughing Together"? You apparently are no longer Latter-Day Saints. And I am a Latter-Day Saint, and I really don't know in practicing Saints who would find anything humorous here (Really, any well-mannered person knows enough not laugh those who are mentally deficient). So, exactly what is your point? Who is it that's laughing besides disillusioned computer nerds with too much time on their hands? - 10/17/2003 - sacary@yahoo.com

You guys need to try to get your testimony back! - 10/16/2003 - anon

I stumbled across this site this morning, and...wow! A lot of hatred. I can't imagine why a person would be so filled with hatred for any religion that they would dedicate an entire website to the persecution of that religion. My guess is that it's not due to ignorance. Perhaps someone was once a member but screwed up? Hmmmm...care to share? Don't respond if you can't be honest...although, from the looks of it, you have quite a time being honest. - 10/12/2003 - from rrescuerick@msn.com

Your site fucking sucks dick!!!! Biggoted assholes!!! I might be a mormon, however, I can still stray and choose to curse dick heads like you out. - 10/12/2003 - anon

YOu all need to grow up. Do you spend your whole life mocking people for what they believe in? I am a Mormon and for that reason i will say this....May God bless you. As the Savior said to his father, "father, forgive them for they know not what they do." - 10/05/2003 - anon

this is a letter to all the faggots who actually think this bullshit about "Kolob". there is no suck planet. where the hell did you idiots come up with this name. and plus for that stupid section on how we would need to have "100,000 temples" to to in order to have all those who have died to be baptized. it says that it takes "two hours per name". that right there is a flat out lie. when were there each person gets to do 10 names in about 30 min.

so in a short conclution, you are all FUCKING CRAZY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just let us be ourselves and enjoy what we have. just because you all can't go know because of what you have p[osted here - 10/05/2003 - recent Duty to God Award winner

Mormonia Crossword Puzzles

ACROSS:

spipid lying bastards
satan worshipers
influence in hitler

DOWN:

degrading others religios beliefs
pissing me off
is not really ready for the jugdment day

ANSWERS:

latterdaylampoon.com
latterdaylampoon.com
latterdaylampoon.com
latterdaylampoon.com
latterdaylampoon.com
latterdaylampoon.com

now how do you like to be treaded on you lying fucking bastards - 10/05/2003 - general conference goer

If your going to make up a story, you should do it with a little more tast. You should also check the spelling and grammer so you don't sound like morons.

PS GET A LIFE - 10/05/2003 - general conference goer

Get a new hobby! You guys are a bunch of jackasses-- Someone pick on you guys when you were kids?--You can get help for that stuff! I am pretty sure you can find things to do with you time--like go practice being funny- this shit's stupid. I'll bet you are saying right now-"then don't read it", right?--well now I bet all those Mormon's are saying the same thing! You guys are losers! - 10/04/2003 - anon

HOW SAD FOR YOU!!! - 09/29/2003 - from Rebecca

Non faith promoting? But it's all cool to bash, though. Sounds fair. Sounds like it should be amongst the filth that it is. - 09/27/2003 - anon

I've never heard so much distorted, misleading, and downright inaccurate BS from such disgruntled, misinformed, ax-to-grind people. If you don't like it get the ---- out!!!! - 09/24/2003 - anon

Yuck! Stumbling upon this rot was akin to plucking a sweet, luscious grape and biting into a worm. Bitter, eh? I answer evil with good straight out of the Bible.

Speak not evil one of another, brethren. Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts? Let us not therefore judge one another anymore, but no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brothers way Lord Christ Jesus has spoken, so grow up and leave those people alone. - 09/22/2003 - anon

I have read many of the stories posted on this site. I can deffinately say rarely have I met a Bishop who was perfect - I suppose that is the major difference between these people writing and the Bishops that they are trying to tear to pieces.

We all know that every story has two sides - these stories are very one-sided. I hope that those of you that are so brave as to type your experiences on this website, also are brave enough to take your complaints and problems in a respectful and dignified way back to the church. We are not perfect, I being the least perfect amoung anyone reading this, but the principles are true - the church is true - and if we know that then no human error should ever be strong enough to shake our faith to destruction.

I have no idea how I found this site - lets all take our problems to a place where they can be solved. - 09/22/2003 - from uaintdown@hotmail.com

This is a loser site! Why tear down others faith. So you don't agree.... get over it! I invite you to distroy this web site...WILL YOU DO THAT! - 09/20/2003 - from TAYLORTHOMPSON.WEBER.EDU.COM

you think garmies are funny well wait till you meet and have to explain to our maker just how funny you thought it really was i would hate to be in your place!!!!! have fun explaining!!!!! it is sad that you ya'll are so stupid you better repent the end is near!!! have fun! - 09/19/2003 - from one of god's loving children sorry you aren't one

eye m 5 yrs old & eye hav a good testimommy of the pwofit. u upset my kindergarten teechur. - 09/13/2003 - Sunbeam Savant
Editor's note: The Lampoon appreciates the creative sarcasm here.

Some day you will all gain a true understanding of the meaning of life and its purpose. You better all hope as I do that God is a forgiving God for you lack of wisdom is showing in the words you write. May your hearts be softened and your minds opened to the Spirit of the Lord that you will understand that what you so freely fight against and bash is the truth. - 09/08/2003 - anon

i am a devot member of the LDS church and am only 15 years old. i am deeply saddend that you have sunk so low that you would make a website like this. i am upset at you but have been taught to always love everyone and so i still love you, but i pity you! - 09/07/2003 - from GoodLittleMormanGirl
Editor's note: Hopefully your spiritual development will exceed your spelling skills. Caution: reading the Book of Mormon will not help with spelling and grammar. It had several thousand errors in it.

Aparently none of you really know what Mormon's are all about or you'd know that Mormons are Christian. If you really believed in Christ, you'd be doing and saying what Christ would do and say. Perhaps you should think about what Christ would say because he wouldn't say any of the thigs that you are. Be like Christ, not hypocrites. - 09/06/2003 - anon
Editor's Note: Hello! This is a lampoon website. Does it say anywhere in your Patriarchal Blessing that at some point in your life you would be blessed from on high with a "clue."

you are all stupid. get a job - 09/04/2003 - anon

You are edging on blasphemy; take care your liberal worldy ideas don't really lead a nation astray, while you are trying to be comedic....Eternity is a long long time. - 09/04/2003 - moabscribe@webtv.net

Oh kay you people arn't really in the know about LDS people are you? You just make up all this crap that isn't true. First of all the Prophet's name isn't Gordon B. Wrinkley I mean who's dumb enough to write that? His real name is Gordon B. HInkley and if you don't even know how to spell his name how can you say that he's a bad prophet? - 09/04/2003 - anon

i relize that many people who visit this sight think it is funny but while making fun of things thatthe church of jesus christ holds dear and sacred and saying they are immoral or off left wing somewhere your sight makes fun of and belittles people whome you have not even met and promotes things which any christian or most people who believe in god find offencive and evil i hope one day you will truly try to get to know some of the people you call mormons because many of them are some of the kindest people i have ever met. - 08/24/2003 - anon

I think this site is awful. What's your problem, guys? Do you not have anything better to do? I can't believe how immature this whole business is. Go get your collective selves a life, please. - 08/22/2003 - A Wonderful Life

Those who post messages on this site, quite obviously, have no life. It's both sad and pathetic at the same time. - 08/22/2003 - LDS Zombie

For all those anti-mormons and inactive persons...Make sure you read first before you preach. Get off your high horse cause you are a disgrace to religion itself. - 08/16/2003 - anon

You have left the church but can't leave it alone. Why? - 08/11/2003 - anon

I think if this is what Christians do to people of other faiths, then Christ would be ashamed of them and whoever set up this web site.

There are basic principles in life like respect and decency of which I can't see any on this site. - 08/11/2003 - anon No wonder new age movements and Islam are growing quicky.

GO BACK TO CHURCH, CAUSE ALL YA'LL ARE GONNA BURN IN HELL - 08/10/2003 - anon

How dare you call yourself a Latter-day Saint. This website is a joke. Obviously, you have no idea or understanding of what goes on in our Temples or for what purpose they even exist. You have the audacity to say the Church's money would be better spent in humanitarian aid. Who are you to make that judgement call? It seems to me that your own time would be better spent doing things which will matter later on, because, my friend, your website - it too shall pass! - 08/10/2003 - anon

I think these jokes are out of line and should not be in a church related web site. - 08/10/2003 - from wanna_be_me10@msn.com

Wow, you are even more bitter, and tiny in your personal reply than on your website. You must be pretty sure you are right about the eternities and the world, 'cause if you are wrong, you are in deep shit!

Peace, Out, Best to you. Jack - 08/02/2003

you guys are idiots! - 08/01/2003 - anon

You obviuosly have no respect for the mormon religion and its people. It's sad that you feel the need to publicly make fun of something that is very sacred to so many of us. I am sorry that I happened upon this site. - 08/01/2003 - anon
Editor's Note: The Lampoon is sorry thay you happened upon Mormonism.

I don't understand why you feel like you need to spend so much time slamming the LDS church. As I understand it if you really don't like something, or your even hate it you would feel it isn't worth your time to even think about it. Why would you spend hours setting up, building, and maintaining a website that is compleatly about tearing others down? - 08/01/2003 - from allengator

SPEND YOUR TIME FEEDING THE HUNGRY AND COMFORTING THE SICK, INSTEAD OF PUTTING YOURSELF IN JEOPARDY. - 07/26/2003 - anon

That was not really neccessary you stupid piece of shit. You can't even make a good website!!!!!!!!! - 07/24/2003 - anon

Why do you people hate our church so much?

We do not critizize your church. We know that you don't like us and we know you're there trying to stop us but we do not pretend you're not there. We have never attempted to stop you or your teachings. You do not have to believe in our teachings if you don't want to. People can decide for themselves what they do and don't believe in. We all have our own beliefs and we choose what we want to do and who we want to follow. At our church we do not say we are the only people God loves. Don't you people think that God lovves us all the same and that we are not doing anything bad. I think that you know that Jesus was always full of love and he forgave the sins of people who had commited horrible crimmes but repented. Do you think that jesus would like what you are doing? You might have had a bad expirience at our church bacause the church's teachings did not did not fit your lifestyle or because you didn't want to and that is ok. I didn't know we were hated this much.

Know I know how people's greed can turn into hate. I don't know. I 'm just giving my opinion. Maybe Because I am 11 I can see what is the difference is between hate and faith. - 07/24/2003 - anon

I am a member of the Mormon Church and I happended to see this site and I am greatly offended. - 07/20/2003 - anon

Jesus is the son of God . Joseph Smith is a Prophet of God. Why do you persecute the Saints of God...if you were really happy in what you profess you would go your way in peace. Methinks you protest too much - 07/20/2003 - anon

your evil - 07/19/2003 - anon

I know that Ex-mormons have left the church because it was too hard for them to be good and they were afraid of what good might come from their spirituality. All my love to you ex-mormons and i pray every day and night for you all.

Remember who you are RWYA. Choose the right CTR. - 07/16/2003 - anon

whoever wrote this has NO LIFE WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!!! - 07/16/2003 - anon

If you truly knew anything about the LDS Church, you would know this, we are accountable for what we do, without this accountablity chaos would reign far worse than what we see happening now. Denying of the Holy Ghost is the only sin you can't be forgiven for, if that is what you are doing (and only you can judge that), be careful. I'm assuming most of those who become ex-mormons have lost their faith through a lack of understanding or because of a sin they thought they shouldn't be chastised for, or through personal tragedy that was not resolved to his/her satisfaction. Whatever the reason, taking things that are sacred to others is a travesty. Even if you don't believe in mormonism, you should at least follow the moral code "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?" This is in the nature of a warning, for I would not like to see what remains of this world once people like you have finished with it.

Hopefully, all of you will fall under the heading of "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Another small warning, a truly wise man or woman, knows that there are things beyond their understanding. Science has proven that things that seemed impossible a hundred years ago, are common place today. In short, stop the nitpicking it does little good for anyone. - 07/13/2003 - from Faithful Sister to All, even you.

I think we have some wayward people here who are looking for companionship....misery loves company. - 07/13/2003 - anon
Editor's note: You apparently have not surveyed the congregation during the monthly high councilman's talk in Sacrament Meeting.

How sad that you have to be followers of Satan! I pray for people like you and I know Jesus Christ will one day show you mercy! God Bless - 07/12/2003 - anon

im LDS. how are you putting the prophets real blessings on the internet for everyone to see when they are supposed to be personal things??? - 07/11/2003 - from lindsay_cotton

I am a 15 year old girl and I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints...I ran across this site while trying to find somethings to help me prepare for my mission someday.I cannot believe the junk that I read on this site and I hope that someday you guys realize the truth or if you already do I hope that you stop trying to make the church look bad like you have been.It is the most important part of my life; to know the truth of it in my heart and Heavenly Father's plan for me. - 07/11/2003 - from kierst15

After looking at a little of this stuff, I am so sorry for you. I pity anyone who feels so threatened or insecure that they need to demean or mock any religion and the beliefs, objects, and symbols it holds sacred. And I pity people who get their jollies from watching the trashing of sacred things.

It's true what we hear "people can leave the Church but they can't leave it alone." I am a Latter-day Saint by choice because God led me to His true church. I was raised in another church, but I have no animosity toward it. In fact, I hardly think about it, because I have a life. If your life is so great without the Ball and Chain, you should be focusing on enjoying it. It must take a lot of misery to leave the Church and make a longterm career of tearing it down.

If you were endowed, you may recall some of the covenants you made. You would not speak in any detail of temple ordinances, or cause them to be held up to public ridicule. You were clothed in a garment that is a sacred symbol and instructed to treat it with reverence. You would avoid frivolous or sacrilegious behavior or speech. You have violated those covenants made before God, angels, and your brothers and sisters. You've given a lot of details about sacred things that the Lord prefers to give us on His own timetable. But you've also revealed plenty about yourself. You are a person who makes solemn promises to God, then breaks them and gets laughs from doing so. Have you ever had a friend betray you? How do you feel about the character and integrity of people who would violate a promise made to God, and than joke about it to the world?

You have issues with the LDS Church, no problem. Be civil and respectful, not obnoxious and sacrilegious, and you can have reasonable dialogues with the rest of the world. Even with me, although it's unlikely I'll be a frequent flyer here as I want to keep the Spirit in my life. Find yourself a nice church that you can live with (or don't). Make sure they have no "rules" that you need to follow. Move far away from Mormons if you have to, and get on with your life. But keep in mind: he Church is true, and the restored gospel is the gospel that Christ brought to the earth. He told us the faithful would be persecuted for His sake (Matt 24:9, KJV). Satan is terrified of the Church and is desperate to destroy it, and you don't realize that by trying to tear down the Church, you are unwittingly doing a little bit of the devil's work.

I don't know if I like you, but the Lord wants me to love you because you're His children as much as I am. Please look for some happiness in life, find something to live for and devote positive energy to, and let go of the negative thoughts and feelings. I am going to put you on the temple prayer roll this week, in the hope that the Lord might heal your heart. - 07/05/2003 - from Cynthia (a TBM in California)

you must be so threatened by The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints, so much so that you bother to make up a web page. Very sad, I will pray for you. - 06/28/2003 - anon

As I learned more about the Curch Of Jesus Christ of the Lader Day Saints "mormons" I have come to realize these people are the most wounderful people in the world. I have learned alot about this CHRISTIAN religion. They set such high standards and hish morals and unlike most religions they seem to keep the morals and standards HIGH. This website is very ingornant and you should be ashamed to have put it on the internet. You have no idea what you are talking about with these stories that you think is so funny. These garments are very sacred and to remid you of the convents you made with the lord. Let me tell you a story I once heard. This women came home from work on day and came to her home burning in high flames after the fireman put out the fire they walked inside and the only thing that wasnt burned or runied was a tall night stand full of temple graments if they arent christian and their garments are sucha joke then I guess there was someone else looking out for them besides god. Things like this and people like yall make my testomany much stronger and make me want to get baptized even faster thanks for making me really realize this is the TRUE CHURCH OF GOD and making me also realize the many blessings this church and the people in it have gave me!!!!!!! - 06/26/2003 - from eastbabe390@yahoo.com

What a shame. Why do some people make fun of someone who dedicated their live to nothing but good? Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and a righteous man. Not many people today can live the way that he did. He always tried to do good and do what his God wanted him to do. Above all else, that is something to admire. It is a shame to see people disgrace him. It will be hard for the supporters of this to see Joseph face to face in heaven. When that time comes, I'm sure instead of mocking him, you'll beg for his forgiveness. And I'm sure he'll give it to you. Joseph Smith is a man of God. - 06/24/2003 - anon

I think this is a terrible website!! Its rude and all the storises and things a sacreligious! I found this website to be degrading! - 06/23/2003 - anon

Your Mom should have sat on your head longer than she did when you were a child, the world would be better off - 06/17/2003 - anon

The creator of this site is a loser. - 06/17/2003 - anon

this is a big lot of filth, I mean I was just looking for a "I'm a mormon how may I help you" tee shirt for EFY and I stumbled on to this garbage! Your dragging me straight to HELL!! Anyway, I hope you are happy about what you've done to my spiritual perfection. - 06/15/2003 - anon

I'm not a Mormon, but I know quite a bit about them and their history and know it's something I could never believe in. However, you guys go a little too far... it's one thing to poke a little fun at a belief or an institution, but honestly... even if you don't believe in the church (as I don't), at least have respect for those that do! I knew a Mormon family while I was growing up (their son was a good friend of mine... we were friends in elementary school) and they were good kind people (and very devout). I'm sure they weren't the only ones. Anyway, my prayers are with you. - 06/08/2003 - from MN

This is a stupid site. You spend to much time downing a religion you know noting about. In fact you probably have never set foot inside any church ever. Ever heard of the Golden Rule that's in every religion. God is only one person and loves everyone of all religions. So, get a life. - 06/07/2003 - anon

WOOOOOOOOO! YEAH, THEM DAMN MORMONS! WOOOOO! YEEEEHAAAAAAA! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, MY BROTHERS, THIS WEBSITE IS WORTH THE TIME AND LESS-THAN-STELLAR WRITING TECHNIQUES! DOWN WITH THAT CULT! BOOOOOOY HOWDY! YOU KIDS SURE DO KNOW HOW TO HAVE A GRRRRREAT TIME, DOING STUFF LIKE THIS ON A SATURDAAAAY NIGHT!!! WEEEEEEHOOOOO! KEEP UP THE WORK BOYS, BECAUSE PEOPLE REALLY DO READ THIS STUFF! YEEHAW! PEACE OUT, AND KEEP ON TRUCKIN AND STICKIN THOSE FUNNY (AS HELL!) NOSES IN OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS!OH YEAH, AND THOSE SEX STORIES SUBMITTED BY 15 YEAR OLDS ARE THE BEST! BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HOW HONEST A HORNY PRETEEN IS! WOOOHOO! - 06/07/2003 - from JuliaGulia28@aol.com

Your site is disgusting - 06/07/2003 - anon

why u dont know anything the lds church is better than anything ive ever had im 14 and grown up in the church. you have to exprience the spirit and testomonys before you start to dis this church u make me sick if you go on the opion of others, the lds are a very family related church the are freindly and never push you to joining. - 06/05/2003 - from lds fan

You sick, sick bastards! Only the inhabitants of the highest kingdom get to keep their genitals, so get used to looking like a Mattel action figure! - 06/04/2003 - from bullwinklemrknowitall@yahoo.com

Why do you waste so much energy insulting LDS people ? Don't you have anything more productive to do with your life ? I sure hope so. - 06/04/2003 - anon

MORMONS RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you got a problem with mormons you can kiss my white-book-of-mormon-reading behind!!!!!!!!!!!! go ahead and "KICK AGAINST THE PRICKS" like the exmormon said and wallow in your own self pity and hate the church when it did nothing wrong to you !!!!!!! PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOR AND KILL YOURSELF!!!!! - 06/01/2003 - anon

Whoever's site this is really needs to get a life. Are you really that bitter and bored? There's got to be better uses of your time. - 05/30/2003 - anon

I am a christian,or at lest I hope I am.I may not belive everything that the Mormon church teaches but I will defend its right to belive any way it want to, too the death.This is what most Veterans have fought for, are right to belive and worship any way we like.You condem this church and its teachings,but if you lived by the rulle set down by this church,you would be a better person,and I don't care what regligon you are, and before you get on your soapbox let me tell you I am a member of the Methodist Church were we are taught to respect all other reglions.Personal I think any person who condem anothers reglion is a pretty sick person. - 5/30/03 - from liberty@greenhills .net

This website- stupid but I forgive you. - 05/30/2003 - anon

This is quite the angst-filled group. I prophecy that someday you will all get over whatever the cause of your petty resentments was, and that you will learn that there are much more important things in life than picking apart the LDS church. It's been proven that hostility is poison to your psychological health. For crying out loud, just agree to disagree and get on with your life! I promise you there are a million more productive uses of your time. - 05/29/2003 - anon

Somebody must of hurt you guys' feelings pretty bad for you to be this angry and vicious...you know what they say, anger is a cover for pain. I'm sorry for you...maybe some day you'll grow up. Take it easy until then... - 05/29/2003 - anon

What I read about the Mormon Church in this publication is false, and in most of the other writings was miscontrued. I know because my wife is Mormon. What I have experienced is that anything that is good will be degraded by wicked. God Speed! - 05/29/2003 - anon

i think you should find better things to do than preach about how wrong 'mormons' are. I dont think you did all the research you could have done all of this is negative but there is positive i think its a load of hogwash! Mormons are wonderful people who hold higher morals than u ever will. - 05/29/2003 - from SWEETUMSSTYLIN@yahoo.com

Nobody is proving anything on this site. If your really that upset over something dont take it out on this site by saying things that you have no proof about... I know the Mormon Church is the only true church, sometimes the people in the church make mistakes but that is only human... But the church has never made a mistake. And if you are denying the church then you better have proof on something the church has done.. Which will be really hard because there is nothing. - 05/29/2003 - from jajacarter@hotmail.com

this is the stupidist site i've ever seen. mormons don't make fun of other religions and niether should any other religion. maybe you belive your church is true but i belive my church is true so i would aprecitate it if your stoped posting this site. - 05/23/2003 - cutie_pie474@yahoo.com

you're so full of #*^%! yea that's right. I am 3/4's chichimec. (northern Aztec tribe) My ancestors believed we were decendents of Israel/12 tribes. You might do some research on the writings of the Cakchikels & Quiche translations by the Spainards in the 1500's. There are archealogical evidence's of the validity of the Lamanite's being decended from Israel, but what you might do is read the Book of Mormon and pray about it believing in God, and he will answer your questions. He lives and desires you to seek further knowledge from above, not precepts of men mixed with the words of God...................Your lovig brother, Rex. - 05/21/2003 - from trexniels67@hotmail.com

remind me to stand next to you when yer being judged - 05/21/2003 - anon

"Latter Day Saints Laughing Together", yeah, right. More like "Embittered Semi-intellectuals Seeking Justification for Their Poor Judgement." Either that or "Persons With Too Much Time on Their Hands and are Obsessed With Not Being Part of Something That They Secretly Admire." - 05/20/2003 - anon

I am a mormon and I think all of you are retards . - 05/18/2003 - anon

I am a 12 year old mormon and I bet I know more about the church than all of you put together. - 05/18/2003 - djb20032003

This is a truly sad site. You must be so proud. A bunch of filth - 05/17/2003 - from mrselange@yahoo.ca

THE CRAPPEST SITE I HAVE BEEN TO. What is your problem? There is nothing wrong with mormons i have many mormon friends and they are normal people you are the one that is messed up. - 05/17/2003 - anon

I can't believe you waste your time with such low, haughty, and disgusting things such as this. Who made you judge over such great men? All of the Apostles were choosen from God and i don't care if they were the most arrogent men in the whole church or the world. I know that they are true apostles and i will never judge them by arrogence or humility. - 05/17/2003 - anon

I think that it is very wrong to tear down other people's religions...I just don't see the reason...can't you find anything better to do with your time? Do they go around commenting on your religion? no they don't. Now why do you have to do it to them? - 05/17/2003 - from JessiCats86@hotmail.com

What is your purpose in writing deflamatory and slanderous statements of others? Who are you? Have you been offended by someone of the church? Were you excommunicated from the church? Have you stripped yourself from your vain imaginations of the world? Have you humbled yourself sufficiently before the Lord and your fellow men? What is your purpose in life?

I write to you as one who defends the Kingdom of God. Since you took it upon yourself to create this public website, you are entitled to receive open criticism. My intention is not to communicate with you on your opinions, but rather to inform you that what you are doing is immature, weak, vain, insecure, and biased. - 05/11/2003 - Non-judgmentally yours

I hate you site. This church is true. Avbously you don't know a thing about the mormon church. YOu make things out oif your head and hear what other unknowloged people say. All of your sotries of nothing but fake. Why don't you learn something from on of our missionaires. THE GOSPEL> - 05/11/2003 - from cutegirl187@hotmail.com

i don't know what is you problem. you guy really have got to think about what you are doing. just be carful and just take this off line. reamember that there is a thing call the book of life and all this is being recorted. sorry about my spelling. but come on guys. dont do this to yourself. one of you know that the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints is true. stand up and do somthing about this. please - 05/09/2003 - anon

You shouldn't be making fun of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. If you want something to make fun of, make fun of yourself, but not our church. Just because you think you know everything about our church, and that you thinks it's dumb, or whatever you may think, it's not. So back off and go make fun somewhere else, and not of our church. - 05/09/2003 - latter_day5@hotmail.com

I don't have the time to read all of this information but I am amazed at the time you put forward to write this. Can I ask you what your purpose is? Maybe then I will read it all. But come on...where are you going with this? Did somebody do you wrong?, jealousy, betrayal? what. Just curious cause I don't understand your motive or the time you've spent. Just curious... - 05/05/2003 - Kristen

Why don't you geeks get a life and do something constructive with your lives, rather than attacking others beliefs? - 05/03/2003 - anon

You guys are a bunch of LOOOOOSERS!!!!! Try getting a education! - 05/03/2003 - anon

The fact that you've all put so much time into being ex-disgruntled-mormons suggests you have real issues... Most likely you're very unsure whether leaving was the right thing to do and bashing the good people who are Mormons somehow helps you justify this. If you are truly unsatisfied then move on and chill out. - 05/02/2003 - from Get over yourselves

Hi, I am a 15 year-old teenage girl, and I just wanted to voice my opinion to you. You're site is very disheartening. It makes me sad to see that there are people out there that actually take things such as a religion, so lightly, and can make fun of it freely, when there are people out there like me that practice it as part of my lifestyle, and take it seriously.

Now, i'm not a goody-goody Mormon girl, I admit, I do have my faults, and I have sinned, but I would never deny the church, or its teachings. I would never make fun of it. It is astonishing that you don't fear God. It's pretty sad when people, adults, have to put down something, and devote part of their lives, to bringing such a thing as a religion down. But no matter what you do, you can never bring down Mormons. No matter what you say about the LDS religion, it won't bring us down. You deny it, but that won't make it less true. You have to be blind to not see it, or numb to not feel it.

I know people screw up, and they have to pay for it, believe me, i've screwed up, and I'm making restitution, but it is no reason to completely turn away from the church, and deny it. Even though i'm not as active in church as i should be, and i don't stick up for my religion as much as i should, doesn't mean it isn't true, or i don't believe in it. I will never deny the religion no matter what. I will never deny the Spirit, my God, or my Savior, which is what the church is.

How can you deny the person that gave you eternal life? How can you deny the man that died for you? And how can you make fun of the General Authorities, they are the most loving, and kind people on this planet, and you make fun of them, or your God, or your Savior? My testimony of the church has slowly been waning over the years, and its all my fault, but there is no way that i can deny the truthfulness of the gospel, of the church, or of anything that i've learned. The only thing that has changed is I don't have the burning testimony that i once had, and its because I have distanced myself from the church through actions that i have done.

But I still know that Joseph Smith was indeed chosen by God, and he did restore the church, and I know Jesus Christ is my Savior as much as he is your Savior, and I know God lives. Whatever happened to you, to feel this way about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I'm sorry about it. And i'm sorry that you feel that way, and whatever happened, just know, through Christ, everything can be washed away. Christ loves you no matter what. God loves you no matter what. Just think of that, as you think of Mormonism, and you criticize the Christians; you, as a person, are loved, your actions are not, but actions can change.

I'm sorry that you feel that way about the Mormon people, and hopefully one day, you'll have a change of heart. It saddens me to see and read your site, and I just wanted to let you know. And I know, this probably won't mean anything to you, because i'm only a 15 year-old girl, but I just wanted to get my opinion out. I'm sorry you feel that way about the church, and just know that your Savior is always there. - 05/02/2003- Kimberly M
Kimberly, you're right. A fifteen year old is clueless about the real world and totally clueless about Mormonism.

hate the website - 05/02/2003 - anon

You people make sick you fucking catholic basterds you should never laugh at a great church of god. the chuch is a place of worship and if you keep making comments about it you should be ashamed to think that youll become a friend of church. the writer of this story and the other ones has probably never read the book of morman - 05/02/2003 - Crich132000@yahoo.com

Im currently in college right now in Texas... I met my best friend there and I fell in love with him. He is Mormon... I keep telling people Im going to write a book, "When I fell In Love with a Mormon". We remain friends only because he has a girlfriend whom is also Mormon, but I can see in his eyes he feels the same for me... Yes it disturbs me he is Mormon, but this site disturbs me more. Im not sending what you call "Not so Nice Mail" because Im not complaining and Im not trying to belittle this site. The thing is, I dont think this site would have bothered me if I didn't love him. But this site reminds me a lot of strong blooded Baptists... where people consentrate more on the wrongs of other religions, rather than consintrating on their own.

I don't believe in what my friend believes, but I admire his faith and dedication. Most of us "normal" people (normal... meaning not mormon, which this site promotes) wouldn't be able to hang with the dedication they have, wether it be through religion or not. Luckily, I am a humorous person and somewhat laugh at this site. Anything that brings smiles to someones face doesn't deserve to be yelled at. I am sending my Mormon friend this site though, and do know... He will also laugh. So you are laughing with them... and not at them. Or, you never know... They could be laughing at us. Have a good day and God Bless - 04/19/2003 - anon

I stumbled across your website sight looking for images of The First Presidency and The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles on the web, and to tell ya the truth, I don't expect you to read this concidering you (and your Apple Dumpling Gang) suffer a sever case of psychological illiteracy called... "I-was-too-weak-to-keep-the-commandments", "I've-been-excommunicated (or disfellowshiped)...I'm-pissed!", "I-possess-a-failures-mentality-but-shhhhhh-don't-tell-me-that"...or my favorite "I'm-a-Goat...hear-me-roar!".

Answer me (or yourself) this one question - How does it feel to be someone no one respects? And if you honestly believe that your wife (or exwife(s)) and children respect you, that's only because they're nothing more than products of their association and until you decide to stand up and be a man, all they'll see in you is a goat.

There's two types of "Men" in life; men that steal their wife and childrens dreams and Men that turn their dreams into a reality, and character decides which one we decide to accept.

...Which one do you think describes you?...don't respond, we all know the answer to that.

Ba Bye

P.S: Prepare yourself because the day will soon arrive when you will wish you had never been born. - 04/14/2003 - from GoatsNotAllowed@hotmail.com

To the creators of this site, your day will come when you will have to answer to the lord! - 04/13/-2003 - anon Editor's reply: We will answer to the Lord as soon as He asks us a guestion.

Any person that has time to create a website that is filled with criticisms and hate threats about other peoples beliefs can not and does not comprehend the miracles of God, their existence on this earth, or their eternal perspective. The only way we can know the truth about what is presented to us in this life is to ask our Father in Heaven if it is true. God has granted us free agency. We have the choice to use this free agency to lift people up by doing and saying good; or we can bring each other down by treating them as unequals. I invite all who have been influenced in any way that is inconsistent or contrary to Gods teachings, to pray to Heavenly Father and ask him if what they have read or heard about the LDS (Mormon) Church is true. If this is done with a sincere heart, God will answer your prayers about the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, the Tabernacle, the Conference Center or any other relevant issue pertaining to this religion. That I do testify as a witness of Christ in his name, event the name of Jesus Christ. - 04/12/2003 - anon

It didn't take me long to see that your web site is improperly entitled, "Latter-Day Saints Laughing Together." There is nothing good-natured about it. It is just sour grapes. Too bad! Very little value! - 04/09/2003 - anon

I came upon this site accidentily--thinking it was actually about LDS people. I feel sorry for all of the individuals who have associated themselves with this group. - 04/09/2003 - anon

You obviously have way to much time on your hands that could be put to much better use. - 04/09/2003 - from J. May, Santa Maria, CA

Remember this quote: "The Lord will not be mocked"....also "Fools mock, but they shall morn" I would be very careful not to make fun of sacred things. - 04/09/2003 - anon

In response to the thirteen articles of face saving. the church of jesus christ of latter day saints is not declining. in fact it is averaging a growth of 500,000 - 1,000,000 new members every year. but thats information that you would like to not pay attention to. - 03/26/2003 - anon
Editor's Note: Sorry, but the growth rate of the LDS Church has declined significantly the past five years. Factoring in death rate the real rate of growth does not reach 300,000 a year. See attendance for details.

You read this and find it totally and completely insulting with good reason. And really don't appreciate all those that make fun of a religion they know nothing about. - 03/26/2003 - from I true blue Mormon, and proud of it.

I feel sorry for all of you! It's so sad that none of you realize that you've all been deceived by satan! I guess we'll all know in the end that the LDS church is true. I just feel sorry for those of you who made the mistake of leaving, you have no idea what you've given up! - 03/22/2003 - anon

Are you stupid or what???? How come you say this things about the Church? You are disgusting!!! - 03/20/2003 - from pattybjo@yahoo.com

THIS SITE IS FOR JACKS!! - 03/15/2003 - anon

I have never read such amazing crap! Most of this is made up lies from bitter people. It is sad that some of these stories probably are true. All people make mistakes, it does not matter what your race, religion or anything else is. Mormons are human and as capable of making mistakes as anyone. The church does not teach the things that I have read,I am not brainwashed, just fortunate to have found this church in my life! Anyone who truly learned of it's teachings would feel just as fortunate. It is not for everyone, obviously. You complainers need to get a life! - 03/14/2003 - ann

Your web site is whole bunch of lying crap! - 03/14.2003 - anon

_________________________

This is really in bad taste and I bet you like getting all the attention for this. I think you should see a docotr before you turn out like Emanuel - 03/14/2003 - anon

You people are sick and devilish. God forgives you all. - 03/14/2003 - anon

It's interesting how the true church of Christ was made fun of and persecuted back when He was on the earth...it seems that it's the same today...consider yourselves like those who persecuted the Son of God and took lightly the most sacred things on the earth. You are all making fun of and persecuting the true church of Christ...i guess the bible didn't teach you much...i wouldn't be surprised if most of you were Mormons in the past and were just looking for an opportunity to escape the responsibilities that the church gave you...congratulations, you've taken the easy road. - 03/03/2003 - from hotrodlinkin88@yahoo.com

You do not have permission to use our trademarked, copyrighted check designs. Please cease and decist in depicting these proprietary images immediately or get you @$$ sued by my flesh eating lawyers. - 02/28/2003 - anon

i am so sorry you feel that way. there are more important things to do, especially with a war coming on, than smashing people's faith. may you go to church, ever, and feel the spirit of peace. - 02/28/2003 - anon

I CAME ACROSS YOUR WEB SITE BY ACCIDENT. THE WHOLE THING IS TO MAKE FUN OF MORMAN'S AND THEIR RELIGION? THERE ARE SO MANY WEBSITES, SO MUCH TIME SPENT PUTTING THESE THINGS TOGETHER AND MAINTAINING THEM, AND FOR WHAT? JUST TO LAMPOON MORMANS? IT'S BARELY FUNNY. WHAT MOTIVATES? I MEAN, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR TIME. ARE THE MORMANS A FAT TARGET FOR SOME REASON THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND? I LIVE NEAR NYC, AND I'M CERTAIN I'VE NEVER MET A MORMAN, BUT YOU MIGHT AS WELL MAKE A SITE DEDICATED TO ALIENS OR SOME OTHER CRAZY CONSPIRACY. THE MORMANS? THEY SEEM SO BENIGN. JOHNNY WHITAKER AND THE OSMONDS AND ALL THAT. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE A VERY NARROW FETISH. WHY NOT MAKE FUN OF THE JEWS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT? I'VE GOTTA BELIEVE THEY ARE FUNNIER THAN THE MORMANS, AT LEAST THEY MAKE A MORE UNIVERSAL TARGET. I JUST DON'T GET IT. IS YOUR SITE ONLY FUNNY TO PEOPLE FROM UTAH? IS IT A REGIONAL THING? SINCERELY, TED PANO - 02/28/2003 - from TPANNULLO@EARTHLINK.NET

So what church do you guys belong to now? Let me guess - your spiritual, but not religious. Get a life! - 02/27/2003 - anon

To disguise yourselves as fellow EX Mormons laughing together, then making fun of these sacred ordinances is sad. If you have come to disbelieve that is one thing but to mock thaat which others hold dear sshows alot about you. I have been Baptised 3 time into the Church Meaning I was Exed twice, and cannot understand why you feel the need to do this. I am sorry that you and others have had bad experiences and that some have met with ignorance and bigotry, the people in our church have all the ills that others in society do. We have never claimed perfection only attempting it. May you find joy in your life but please do not make it at my expense. - 02/26/2003 - anon

Do you stand for anything? Hate and criticism seem to come very naturally to you and your staff. What do you profess to support? - 02/23/2003 - anon

Wow, that parallel between the map of the Saudi Arabia and the position of the hands on the cover of the Ensign. That's a stretch of the imagination if I ever saw one. True Christians build each other up (regardless of denomination), not spend their time bringing down God's work, regardless of the messenger. "Beware the beam in thy own eye". "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". I think a good tree gives off good fruit, and the fruit I see here looks pretty rotten. - 02/18/2003 - anon

To all of you anti-mormons out there. You better be right. - 02/18/2003 - from Sam, Longmont, CO

I don't believe any of these stories listed. They are very unlikely, all the mormons I know have only done good things, and to be really honest I am upset at reading all of this. MORMONS are GOOD people.... Why are you guys making up stories about them, I live in MA, and they have done more community service, and done more for communities surrounding their what's it called Stake Ward or something... I am glad to know some mormons! You guys should be ashamed of yourselfs.... as for hypocrisy, my church has preist molesting kids(Catholic), it doesn't mean that my church is so bad, it just means that there were a bunch of perverts that shouldn't have ever been working for it. - 02/18/2003 - from Britt

I understand that you all have your own beliefs, but I think it is sad that you spend time trying to hurt others by tearing them down. Do you think that just because you are so unhappy with your own lives, and so unsure about what you belive that making fun of somthing that other people place faith in will fix it. Let them have their faith. If you are unhappy because Mormons wear garments that is ok, but to hurt others because of your insecurity is not. Just think about it, why are you really doing this? - 02/17/2003 - anon

I do not have a problem with you people not believing in the church or feeling that things don't add up. I have had many of those feelings myself. But you did make a promise to not reveal certain things to the world. That still stands, whether or not you believe in it. You are mocking something that many people, including me, hold very sacred. You do have free speech and are able to voice your oppinion, you can say it is wrong, I don't care about that, but when you show the world our signs and tokens, you take something away from every honest, good-hearted person who believes in this thing. I truly feel sorry for you people and hope that one day you wiil regret mocking our belief system. I promise you that you will one day look back and wish with you whole soul that you would not have been so careless and insensitive. - 02/16/2003 - anon

I do not understand why this web page exists. I would hope that everyone here would have enough decency and respect for other's beliefs to leave this stuff alone. I'm not mormon, but I think that this is evil, and all I can see from my point of view are a bunch of people who don't respect one's beliefs. I hope that you guys can grow up and find something better to do with your time instead of trying to tear down other's beliefs. Because one thing that's for sure, scorning something else and mocking that which someone else holds sacred is not what I would consider Christian. Some of my friends are mormon, and they are good people. What is so wrong with that? Hate is not christian, and neither is mockery. - 02/16/2003 - anon

I would just like to express that just because one or two people act insane doesn't mean that the religion preaches that! I have had the most inspiring time while being exposed to the church and their Ideals!I have become more intimate in my spirituality and more structured in my everyday life to live to project love and peace!Thanks! - 02/16/2003 - anon

ya'l going to hell. - 02/16/2003 - anon

you people are sick and twisted get a grip get a religion.. there is nothing wrong with the mormon religion..so what they got standards don't hate on them....It isn't right what you are allowing to be said on here or what you have to say.. - 02/12/2003 - anon

I happen to be a mormon who hasn't always lived the life that I should have but you know even though I have messed up time and time again I would NEVER EVER do the things you other people are doing. Even though I have committed my sins that could lose my membership in the church I am glad I am not standing in you peoples shoes!! I am disgusted with your loose lips and very upset that a friend told me about this web site. Shame on all of you defiling the churches most sacred ceremonies. Even if I do lose my membership I would never stoop this low. I still know I have to stand up in front of my savior and tell him the life I led and no its not going to be easy but at least I can say that I never spoke ill of his teachings and the leadership of the church. - 02/11/2003

There is plenty of room in hell for those leading and'or following in this vicious path of slander and hatred. (See definitions and descriptions of Hell in the Book of Mormon, if you can pull yourself away from the delights of Satan)

I might be persuaded to believe the owners of this site are trying to bring others down to their level of filth and corruption. May the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob forgive you and bless you with knowledge of the truth. - 02/09/2003 - Another member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. (And I'm not smiling!)

what a total waste of time! - 02/09/2003 - anon

You anti-mormons are a pathetic lot, I must say. You tear down the practices and beliefs of the church in order to soothe your seared consciences. When judgement day comes and you're weiged in the balance, which part of your rantings will count for jewels in your crown? Give it up and get a Life! - 02/09/2003 - anon

No one ever said anyone is perfect, it seems to me these pages are filled with faults of men not GOD. I know that sometimes it seems fruitless to stay faithful and diligent, but I'm sure all of you true former members have had a witness to your heart of the truthfullness of the message, don't let the faults of men cloud that. Take it from me an excommunicated member. I have never forgotten mine. - 02/08/2003 - vince cruz

Well, author of this website, get a life! Just put your request in writing to have your name taken off the church records and have done with it! That will make the hometeachers stop visiting you. Don't be so paranoid you brainless lump of jelly. You think being visited is bad? Don't worry, you'll get yours! All in good time. - 02/08/2003 - anon

You need a new website this is full of false information - 02/07/2003 - anon

you are an idiot. half of this crap is lies. mormons do NOT do half that stuff.. just becuase your some screwed up a-hole doesnt mean you have to bring down the church. screw you. - 01/23/2003 - you are idiots

I think you need to find something constructive to do with your life. Maybe you would have enjoyed living undery Hitler's regimne. - 01/23/2003 - anon

Some people really have too much time on their hands. Sorry I even visited this site- it sucks! - 01/21/2003 - anon

Obviously the church is not cut out for everyone here. So get a life, leave it alone, and stop ruining it for others who might find the church fits their lifestyles. Historically the church has had a lot less problems than any other church out there. - 01/21/2003 - anon

I just stumbled on this site, and I know my e-mail will probably be ignored by whoever runs the site, but I just have to say - are there really that many people who hate mormons so much they would spend time at a site like this poking fun at the religion. I see Mormon people doing a lot of good things. How sad to find a web site which causes people to waste time they could be using for more important and valuable things than encouraging hatred. - 01/19/2003 - anon

LOSER(s): Those ("ex-Mormons") that spend wasted hours conjuring up immature and pointless websites to express how lonely, pathetic, and bitter they are. (see also:SATAN) - 01/18/2003 - anon

How dare you promote this nonsense!!! - 01/18/2003 - Mormonangelwings@aol.com

I can't beleive the kind of jokes that you people call funny (of which i call extremely disgusting)why does this website pick upon the mormon veiws? Why does this website represent hateful slander directed to mormonism? there is enough hate and bigotry and negativism in the world! Why do you wish to add to it? I honestly am wondering why you would enjoy to create such a negetive web site.

Mormons, as I have seen, have been trying their best to keep up their standards, in a world that has transcended through time as a negetive and revolting place that nobody feels safe because of all the bigotry and hate. Why would you want to continue such a terrible chain that just discourages the world? Terrible things have begun with a single feeling of hate and bigotry.

Events like the holocaust, and suicides, homicides, wars (even over religion).. as well as hate groups that are growing more and more numerous like the kuu klux klan. Because of you, and this website, you have disturbed my peace. How dare you luagh and mock, and bicker at the mormons. I have mormon friends, and they have only given me respect, and kindness, so I am fighting for their will, that their favor only be returned. I would suspect you would appreciate respect and kindness in your situation.

A sad and disturbed visitor - 01/18/2003 - anon

Thank you, thank you. I am only 13 years old, too! No, really. I am so much more mature and well brought up than you drunken idiots. - 01/18/2003 - Anonymous

This is not something that should be on the internet. All of this "anti-mormon" stuff will harm you in the end. All I can say is that you will all have to answer to the Lord for the things you do. - 01/18/2003 - anon

Comment: If you were once a mormon, that means that at one point in time, you believed the church to be true. For some reason, unknown to me and many others, you decided to leave the church.

Question: Did you ever stand up on the first sunday of the month and bare your testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ? Did you ever tell anyone that YOU believed the church to be true?

Comment: If the answer to these questions is Yes, then I have another question for you... Why did you appostasize and why are you now bashing on our gospel principles that you, yourself once sustained? Even David Whitmer, who was one of the tree witnesses of the Book of Mormon and who fell away from the church, never denied that it was true or said that Joseph Smith was a fraud. So, why are you? - 01/18/2003 - from K. M. S. a "TBM"

This is an evil site. You need to start from the beginning and read and pray about the Book of Mormon. It is true. Once you know that everything else will fall into place. - 01/18/2003 - anon