Mormon Temple Garments - Funny Undies Drawer - The Naked Truth


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Reasons why the church should change the garment wearing policy

02/26/2013 by Rowell back

I want to give the Mormons a list of reasons why thy should change and only wear garments while attending the temple.

This will benefit the church in many ways.

1. Mormon men can start looking at their wife in sexy undies instead of porn.

2. Mormon women can start to notice the cottage cheese on their ass and decide to lose weight sooner.

3. Mormon marriages will experience greater levels of intimacy.

4. The rest of the world won't consider Mormons wierd because of their under wear.

5. They can distance themselves from the FLDS

Mitt Romney's Underwear

11/10/2010 - The Grinch's Dog

Y'all been living in Utah too long, haven't you? I moved away years ago and find that people don't bash Mormons outside of Utah, and they really couldn't care less about Mormon garments other than the fact that it's an interesting curiosity.

So are Japanese loin cloths, Quakers' outer wear, Orthodox Jew's hairlocks, their own undergarments known as tsitsit--a fringed cloth, beneath their basic black hair locks and clothing; particularly devout Catholics' underwear called a scapular; Tibetan monks' red robes, nuns' and priests' attire.

What about that tall head piece the Pope has to wear? You need to read "The Varieties of Religious Experience" by William James. The Mormon garment defilement on this site comes off as juvenile, like 4th graders snickering in the back row at their Catholic School nun teachers, asking the other if he thinks she's got cooties in her hair from having it covered "like that" all the time.

If you want to bash something truly worth critiquing (okay, worth "bashing!"), let's talk male circumcision, which not only 90 to 99% of Mormons practice, but just as many Americans in general!

That's what I call mass conformity...one of the last barbaric acts largely acceptable in our society? In all of the Western religions? (It is not traditionally practiced in Asian societies, and must have mortified them to discover what we do to our babies.)

I'll wear my snuggly winter-warm garments, symbol of sacred things to hold to heart, of hopes/ideals to strive for, and nothing more complicated than that, but wish they'd left my John alone.

Read here for a relatively respectful approach to an outsider's take on the Mormon garment (and on Mormons): Mitt Romney's Underwear

Garmies Don't Stand Up to Blue Darts

04/29/2010 - by Jonny the Smoke from Recovery from Mormonism

Blue Dart Mormon Garments When I was a missionary in the Caribbean, I was an AP and living in house with my comp and two other office guys. I think we we're having a "match" fight, throwing lit wooden matches at each other (the house was all concrete, cinder block and tile so no worries). Well one guy decides to try some "blue darts" which I had never seen or tried before. We all managed to get one or two off, but it was the GA's grandson (my comp) that did the big ripper.

He lets out a big one, which explodes in a ball of fire about a foot across and in the process, he burned a hole through his nylon mesh garments.

The only protection they offered me was protecting my suit pants from tropical sweat and skid marks.

Flame Retardant Skivvies my horses petutie!

03/25/2010 - by AmIDarkNow? from Recovery from Mormonism

I had an incident that happened with fire that taught me that Mormon temple garments don't protect jack!

I had an intimate encounter with too much flame. I was wearing a short sleeve shirt with the "nylon" garment. (horrible material BTW) Flame swept up my arm and no clothing burned at all except the entire sleeve and part of the shoulder of the garment that burned/melted. I was burned where the material melted into globules.

I was a good person. They did not work as claimed. I will never ever forget that day.

A funny thing happened at the office today

02/25/2010 - by The Three Nephite Brewery from Recovery from Mormonism

Our GM found a pair of red womens panties on his office floor this morning. I'm proud to say he immediately blamed me, but it wasn't my doing.

Turns out it was the panties of the newlywed wife of one of our salesman. To surprise and titillate her husband, the wife occasionally slips her panties in rolled up architectural plans for the salesman to discover during the day. Today the salesman wasn't the first to discover her present, causing much laughter and jealousy for the rest of us as he proudly admitted they were his wife's.

Then I imagined the reaction had my wife rolled up her garment bottoms and were discovered by someone else. Ugh.

Garment on the freeway

11/10/2009 - by Battle Ax and others from Recovery from Mormonism

Having been born of goodly parents, well for the most part they raised me in the F%^&(*^ church. It came to pass last week me and my wife were going to Salt Lake and were between American Fork and Lehi on 1-15. And it came to pass that while we were traveling my wife said look garments, so I looked and behold I saw garment, several pair all over the freeway and not just one pair several of all kinds. The spirit commanded me to swerve and run over one pair just for fun, so I obeyed the spirit and I did swerve and run over a pair of garments. After that it came to pass that the lord open my eyes or quickened my understanding and reminded me that this was not the first time I have beheld garments on the freeway this is the second time I have seen garments in 1-15. For behold two years ago the same thing happened in almost the same spot?????

So is this the sure sign of the nail that more and more people are pissed as hell and leaving. In the end the lord commanded me to tell you, black skid marks are ok, but behold brown skid marks are not, please wash the G's before tossing them on I-15, have you no respect for the Lards undies?

I think this should be the title of an exmo song - by jacyn

It sounds like a leaving-the-cult theme song. We should give out an award at the next exmo conference for the best lyrics. ; )

It IS a HUGE problem - by jacyn

True Believing Mormons (TBM's) in Utah are waking up everyday, getting in their cars and while driving to work, suddenly say to themselves, "WTH have I been thinking for all these years?!!" Off come the undies which are then unceremoniously tossed out the window, rain, snow, hail, or sleet. Hence the offending white litter is piling up all over I-15. Damn exmo litterers!

(Har har, har ; )

"Garmies on the Freeway" LYRICS - by andrew

left garmies on the freeway
thought they could help a stranger

one who wanders, needs a cause and
protection from the danger

While driving down the freeway,
I threw them out in all their splendor...

that rediculously uncomfortable uniform
becomes my white flag of surrender

I no longer need protection from
the vicious evil storm

after stepping outside in all my nakedness
I found the weather's nice and warm

so on the road they'll sit and might be found
by some wayfaring man of grief

who feels inferior, who needs a special
guarantee to offer him relief...

from a structureless world
from a meaningless life
from a decisionless mind
in a world of strife

a person who wanders without a cause
a person who who's tired of getting the shortest straws
for a person who wants a special mission in life
for a person who feels like they're under the knife

I'll leave my g's on the side of the road
for that person who wants to magically change from a toad
to a king and a priest to rule the world from on high
to the person who's too good to be a regular guy.

the unfortunate person who finds those G's
will have new-found royalty; will surely be pleased

As for me, now I wander the world nakedness
I'm suprised to have found in this new life, more bliss...

Running over their own - by Battle-ax

What I liked best about both times I saw this was it forced a lot of TBM's to run over their special undies. Maybe Kimball can amend his book and say before I would run over Jesus jamies I would rather have my life taken and die.

Wouldn't it be funny if - by Rubicon It started a trend. Seeing convicts picking up bags full of garments!

A Garment Tree - by anon

How about a "garment tree?"

Each town full of exmos could have a tree that they'd adopt, and folks could chuck their garmies up in it for therapy. Tie a string and a rock to the garmies and send them heavenward. Maybe make a few comments with a magic marker before they go.

You'd want to be really stealthy about this for obvious reasons. And yes, it is littering.

His rear showing through the gap in back

02/10/2009 - by Mormon Observer

My BIC (Born in the Covenant) first hubby used to walk around the house in the zipper front ones with his rear showing through the gap in back!

I remember him stomping into his oldest son's room and yelling at him for something he'd done, exerting his authority as the Dad and telling the kid he'd better streighten up!

I pointed out to him, "How do you expect our son to take you seriously when you're standing there yelling at him with your butt hanging out in back?"

I'm surprised our 11 year old didn't crack up laughing on the spot!! Thank God those kind of G's (temple garments) had a double cloth front panel to cover the package!

My hubby complained that the mens garments were made for someone who was built like a ten inch thick by 16 inch wide board! And who has a member long enough to pull through this fly? He'd ask me? (as if I'd know!) They'd have to be as long as a donkey! (or a gasoline can funnel???)

After I divorced him he started wearing other kinds of undergarments, but don't ask me for details:)!

Burn a garment, save a mind.

01/13/2009 - by 5th generation BIC

Sorry, but in my opinion, you should never wear Mormon underwear. It's probably evil on some level, or at least in very bad taste.

My father walked around the house with nothing but his garments on, and I'm still on medication to this day--don't do it. Burn a garment, save a mind.

Embarrassing garment malfunction stories

05/24/2008 - by Recovery from Mormonism posters

Flashing my doctor by Christy219

This got me thinking about an embarrassing moment I had with garments.

I had an appointment with a dermatologist to get a head to toe body scan for suspicious moles, etc. The doctor instructed me to take off all my clothes and put on a gown, but to leave my underwear on.

That left me in a quandry. I had my g's on, and it was one of those rare occasions that I didn't also have on regular underwear underneath. I was *petrified* of the idea of letting the doctor see my granny panties. So instead of leaving my g's on, I took 'em completely off and went totally nude under the sheet.

During the exam, the Dr. thought I had on underwear so at one point he tosses the lower part of the gown off my body. He visibly reacted when he saw me completely naked, because he wasn't expecting it and had given no thought to any sense of modesty.

My face turned a thousand shades of red, but I said nothing. I mean, what could I say? Sorry, but I forgot underwear today??

Trapped in sub-zero by Longtooth

Years ago before the advent of two piece garments my wife and kids moved back to our home town after living for a number of years out of state. We stayed temporarily with her parents while we purchased a home to live in.

My MIL was a very reserved and dignified lady; however I found out that she had a very active sense of humor. Back in those days women darned socks patched levis and mended anything with a hole in it. My MIL mended a pair of my garments and apparently decided it would be funny to sew the flap on the front of them shut. It was winter time and below zero degree temperatures.

I was working out of doors in a remote area with no rest room facilities available. If you had to go to the toilet you found a bush or got behind a piece of equipment or simply turned your back to the other crew members. It was so cold I had to wear insulated coveralls over regular cloths plus a heavy coat. You can imagined my frustration when I had to pee and tried to find myself through all those layers of cloths only to discover when I finally got down to my garments there was no opening in the front. I thought my fellow workers were going to die laughing watching me take all of my cloths off in sub-zero weather as I danced around trying to keep from wetting my pants.

She claimed she didn’t sew the front shut on purpose but because of the smile on her face and the twinkle in her eye I was sure she did.

Rear end view - by Jim Huston

I had a woman working for me in Utah years ago. She came out of the bathroom with her dress inside her garments in the back. I really did not know what to do. She was wearing the tacky see-through mesh things.

She wandered around the offices for a half hour like that. What does a guy do in a situation like this?

Oops, those are mine - by The Ghost of John Ferrier

I was a convert to TSCC (The So Called Church - Mormon Church) and hated those things from the first moment I put them on! They pulled out hair, stuck to my skin, wedged up - you all know.

Anyway, I was working in a professional office outside the Mormon Corridor so people knew little or nothing of magic undies. I had worn a pair of pants one day and decided to wear them again the next (cash was tight and we were paying tithing after all). Apparently I must have taken off my garmies the next morning while getting ready and placed them on top of the pants. I must have been in a hurry and put on new garmies, got dressed, and didn't notice the crumpled up garmie bottoms now in a pant leg. I drove to work and walked to my desk without noticing that the garmies fell out of the pant leg and were on the floor at the entrance of the office. I was sitting at my office while a co-worked walked in, picked it up, and said, "What the hell are these?!" I was frozen for a moment wondering if I should say they belonged to me, pretend that they didn't or do something. Anything! I snapped out of it and ran over to the guy holding these weird things and grabbed them out of his hands. Everyone in the office saw the guy holding them up and me grabbing them. God, I was embarrassed. My co-workers could see that I was upset over whatever those things were so didn't ask any questions until later in the day. All I could say then was that they were "sacred" and I couldn't go into it further. The rest of the day I was left alone but knew there was a lot of water cooler talk that day and for a weeks to come.

Fortunately I was transferred to another department and as far as I know the weird "sacred underwear" story didn't follow me. This still makes me cringe to this day. Ugh.

Legal Descriptions - by bookworm

I worked for a law firm right out of college. One day I was wearing a skirt and I was reaching above my head for a box. When I turned around I caught one of my co-workers looking at me funny. she asked me if I was wearing my husband's underwear because she could see them when my skirt slipped up above my knees.

I just replied "Uh yeah, I haven't done laundry in a while." A few years later, this firm represented my mom in her very nasty divorce from my dad. My dad accused my mom of walking around in her underwear in front of the kids. My mom had to describe her underwear in court. I sat in the back of the court room horrified by the whole thing.

My co-worker remembered my "no clean laundry story" and asked me afterwards. "So you wear those long underwear too? So those weren't your husband's underwear." It was humiliating for both me and especially my mom.

Hotel Incident by Longtooth

A friend of mine while staying at a large hotel decided to quickly step out of his room for a bucket of ice in just his garments. The ice machine was just a few feet from his door and it was the middle of the night and no one in sight. It would take less than five seconds to grab the ice. He didn’t take into account the possibility of the door swinging shut leaving him locked out of his room; which it did. He took the tops off placed them around his shoulders like a towel and went down to the lobby and told them he forgot his key when he went out jogging. I can only imagine what the front desk clerk thought of a pale, pot bellied, middle aged man with no shoes on and with only garment bottoms in the middle of the night telling him a story like that.

Back when I was exed, I followed the instructions they gave me. - by Doug

The official excommunication instructions said that you could continue to wear the garments, but you had to cut the marks out. So, I got the scissors out, cut the marks out and started wearing them to the Sportsmall in SLC whenever I'd play racquetball with one of my especially righteous buddies.

Obviously, I'm kind of irreverent, and I enjoyed showing them the foolishness of their own church practices. The garms are especially heinous with the marks cut out, although, maybe there could be a new film called exmormon women gone wild.

Mormon man being tormented by cat without his holy underwear to protect
his priesthood part.

Question for the ladies: did the garments ever cause wedgies?

04/08/2008 - by forestpal

The one-piece did. I didn't want to raise my hand in class at BYU, or reach for anything on a top shelf.

The two piece couldn't possibly cause a wedgie, unless my crotch were by my knees. It was really fun to stuff all of that into pantie hose. Why do you suppose there are such long lines at the ladies' restrooms in Utah? When I wore pants, I'd pull the garment waist up under my ribs. 24/7 discomfort, just like the cult.

The most hideous thing

03/26/2008 - by Insanad

Garments from what I remember are the most hideous thing you can shove up your behind place. They're designed so that the seam from the bosom area always rides up across the nipple (yes, i said it!!). The seams are sewn with a nylon thread that works like a little razor slicing and irritating this very sensitive area (much like the tip of your little factory). The bottoms fit like a pair of uncomfortable thin cheap pants and they ride up where they're not supposed to go and the elastic is so crappy that when they're not riding up, they're falling down.

I don't know if this is too graphic but for a lady on her cycle, these things are the worst. The pad ends up swashing around like a dryer sheet and before you know it, it's down your leg and into your sock, making for some very embarassing moments. The fabric that they make these contraptions out of is so flimsy that it just bunches up under everything so no matter what you wear, there's this clump and lines. No wonder so many Molly's wear frumpy dresses and sweats to cover up the bunched garments.

If you have ever worn the modern ones you should appreciate the distance these have come. When I first got married they came in a one piece get up with a wide neck so you could step into them. The back had a split crotch (not the kind in kinky panties) but this huge wide sloppy split that would separate under your clothes, leaving a draft in your nether region much of the time. The little panel they sew into the ladies special part was so poorly designed that it would roll and twist till you felt like you were skewered by a roll of old toilet paper. The split was apparantly so you could spread the back to do your dirty business but I'd also been instructed that the garments must be left on during sex and that the man would then open them just enough to get his stuff in place, and then with enough friction, it would all be over in a matter of seconds. For devout Mormon men this is apparantly the norm.

I can't tell you how many times i've seen people wearing these hideous things waaaaay past their prime. Perhaps because they believe they're HOLY underwear, they must wear them until it's a reality. THey become so thin and ragged and nasty that I can't imagine using them to clean the toilet, let alone wear against my skin. I've seen people wearing them with yellow & brown stains,skid marks, ragged seams, greyed coloring, etc. and still they don't throw them out. Even then, I've known some who consider it a travesty to throw them in the garbage where some hobo or homeless person might come across them, so they store their old garments in a box in the garage for years. WHO MAKES THIS CRAP UP????

For the past eight years I've been buying Victoria's Secret all cotton underwear. I'll tell you, there's nothing like natural fibers, a perfect fit, and good elastic next to the skin. If there's anything riding up now or causing excessive nipple irritation it's usually my husband. I don't mind wearing him nice and close.

My garment stories of the faithful and faith-less!

02/24/2008 - by SusieQ#1 Recovery from Mormonism

This is a little story of my first experience back in about 1963, following the proper care of used garments,otherwise known as: "How I nearly set BYU housing on fire."

We were all taught in the temple, as I recall when first learning about the garments and their care, that the "sacred markings" were to be cut out and burned and then they were just ordinary cloth and could be used as rags, etc. The Mormons were very frugal.

I had been a member a little over a year, married in the Logan temple and living at BYU in Wymount Married Student Housing when I noticed that my BIC hubby had old garments left over from his mission a few years back that were in terrible shape.

So, trying to do things "right" I decided to ask a neighbor-Molly Mormon how she disposed of the markings. She told me she cut them out and put them in a soup can and lit them on fire then threw away the ashes. Oh, great, I though, I can do that. No problem. Or so I thought.

So, after hubby left for classes, I got busy. I carefully cut out the markings of hubby's one piece cotton garments , some had the buttons up the front for ...err...ahh..well, you know.

I put a couple dozen of those snippets in a washed out soup can, and not wanting to draw attention, I decided not to go outside on our third floor balcony and light them on fire, so I put the can on our kitchen table, and lit the pieces on fire.

But, something went very wrong very fast and the flame got too high and the can became too hot to pick it up, so I threw water on it to put the fire out!I Then, opened all the doors and windows and tried to fan out the smoke. Oh my gosh! .I had nearly set our apt. in BYU housing on fire!

When hubby came home from classes at BYU, he noticed the ring on the table we had refinished before we got married and hauled to Utah from Oregon a few months earlier. I didn't want to admit, exactly, what happened, I just told him that I put something hot on it by mistake! He never did know what I had done! I was not about to tell him either. After all, I was a new convert, and how did I know things would go so bad trying to be righteous!

From then on, I flushed the cut out marks of the old garments down the toilet and we had a whole new set of rags! The ,men's cotton garments made excellent rags! I never could figure out what difference it made whether they had the markings in them or not - a rag was a rag!

Looking back, it appears that flushing the sacred markings down the toilet was symbolic of what was to come. The whole Mormon thing went down the "toilet" so to speak, eventually!

This toilet flushing technique continued for years, until I walked out of a temple in the mid 90's and took those silly things off for the last time. I had been controlled by underwear long enough!

I contemplated what to do with them for some time. Initially, I kept them in a dresser drawer, then I wanted them out of sight, so I put them in a large plastic grocery bag in the back of my clothes close until I decided that I never wanted to look at them again.

Then one day, a few years later, when I knew I was done with Mormonism and what those garments represented, (that was an arduous process!) I threw that big bag over my shoulder like Santa Clause, trouped out to the trash cans and threw the whole bag in one of them. Then I added household trash: nasty, dirty, smelly trash on top. Again, that was symbolic of how I viewed Mormonism !

Then I walked back into the house with a huge smile on my face, snickering under my breath as I thought about their route into the big trash truck,where they were crushed up with the rest of the dirty stinking trash, then dumped into the local landfill! Just thinking about it would keep me snickering for days! I had often watched, and heard those trucks, loudly crunching and compact the trash in front of my house.

Ahh..what a wonderful feeling! I had just rid my closet, and my life of any signs of the God of regulation underwear! First the sacred markings went in the toilet (fortunately, they were very tiny, I flushed often and they never clogged up the lines!) Then they went into a garbage can, a trash truck and a land fill. Perfect!

Before I got married:

The first ones ordered and sized by my relief society president at the time, in 1962, were nylon and were one size too small and I was stuck with them in Utah in 100 degree heat which I was not used to. We were on a very limited budget and I had to wait until I could make more money to buy more!

Those were the days when the unwritten understood rule was they were not to be taken off for much of anything, and they were to be worn for sex. They even made men's button-up and zip up garments in those days.

I saw a very large breasted woman at the distribution counter selling the garments and asked how she got the tops to fit and she said she "squished," meaning, of course, that the garment did not fit so she had to stuff her breasts in the top and into a bra.

Later:

The two piece garments were not made until the late 70's so the women were stuck with the one piece with the flap. Those were also the days of sanitary belts and sanitary napkins. Many Mormon women I knew would never even consider using a Tampon in those days!

When I wrote to complain about the sizing and the fit I got a letter from the man who ran Beehive Clothing that made it clear that they could not accommodate every one so they made just standard sizes. I wish I still had that letter. It was typical of the attitude the idea of the cookie cutter Mormon.

I tried to get the panty to fit snugly just like a regular panty, and they would never come to the knee. Also, some fabrics were better than others for fit The Bemberg-Rayon was the best.

Temple garments did not come in many sizes. Only a couple in each one -- nothing like what you can get in the regular stores. If you are a "junior" or a "woman's" size, they probably won't fit well.

If you wear a D cup or larger bra, the garment is wider, but the seam still hits the woman in the middle of her breasts -- very uncomfortable.

My It was a real problem for me when they threw away my "specials" pattern when they moved their office and the lady I worked with retired. That was when I decided that enough was enough. I could never wear them at night -- drove me nuts, would get up and take them OFF in my sleep -- so mine lasted a long time.

I am amazed at men who answer the door in their garment tops and pants on! Or run around outside in the yard like that! We were always told to wear them UNDER your clothing, they were NOT outer clothing! It would be the same thing as a woman going outside in her bra to answer the door, mow the lawn, etc.

I have been in homes were people run around just in the garments in front of the children. I always thought that was weird! If they are so sacred and so holy, and not to be seen, put something on top of them!

I never could understand the mind set of some of the women I knew that thought the garments were the greatest things since sliced bread. I talked to one woman who had 150 pair of them. She bought several pair every fabric, and style they had. She said she loved to get out of the bath and put on a fresh pair!

Many of you know that the temple garments were sold over the counter in Penny's in Utah and Idaho before the distribution centers opened. It was not uncommon for non-temple goers to buy them, especially the long white mens union suits as they were excellent for winter underwear.

We had a elderly aunt (born in about 1860) who never took her garments off completely, even to bathe. She also never allowed anyone to work on her farm without a shirt on. Garments were never seen, clothing was always worn over them, and nakedness was unacceptable, even a small child was not allowed to get out of the bath and run around nude. That was Mormonism in Idaho!

His and Hers Garments Mix Up

When I think back to the goofy things that happened in the temple, the single event that stands out is the time an elderly lady with our group went to the temple (we had to travel about two hours) with her matching temple suitcase (with all the temple garb in there - remember those?)after her elderly husband died and realized when she got to the lockers....

She had his suitcase! So, she put on his one piece garmies with the fly, got dressed in her clothes and carried the robes and apron in the packet. Someone got her a veil. Then she cracked us up again, when she wondered ...if...they buried him in her garments!

Well, of course they didn't, because they have special open backed burial garments, but it was the one time that I went through the temple smiling an stifling a chuckle!

We laughed for years at the visual of her short, squatty, square body in her deceased, very tall, large husband's one piece garments! A couple of us would look at each other and say remember ____ (her name) and crack up!

Garments and nakedness

This is such a major part of Mormonism, that I can't get past it's power over the members.

I guess I never did quite "get it' that the undies (Holy Garment of the Priesthood- women wear that priesthood garment, but cannot officiate), were so special and sacred and that people lived in fear of not wearing them. Just never occurred to me as a convert.

I was raised in the days of wearing an undershirt and panties under your clothes, growing up in the 40's and taught by women in my family that your underwear should be as nice as your outer wear. A well dressed woman had at least white underwear and a set of black underwear for dark outer clothes. . But nobody ever considered that daytime underwear was to be worn at night. Pajamas or nighties were made for that pupose. Panties maybe, with nighties, but nothing else was added.

Getting used to the temple undies was no easy feat for me. First of all, the RS pres in the early 60's who ordered mine for me, ordered them in nylon, in a size too small when we were moving to Utah. Note: the two piece garments didn't come out until about 1977. What was she thinking? She thought because we were students, the nylon would wear better!That was horrible. I finally got up enough money to get the Bemberg Rayon fabric which was at least, somewhat comfortable.

BUT.... never could wear the damn things at night. Even if I went to bed with them on, I would wake up in the morning and find them under the pillow or on the floor. Finally I gave up. I even told the bishop and stake presy in temple recommend interviews that I couldn't wear them at night and they never said a word about it.

I am amazed at what I told these ecclesiastical leaders. Religious power, the minister syndrome was drilled into me from my background so I came by it naturally -- many generations of ministers in my family and lots of personal experience with the local minister growing up solidified my respect for them.

I didn't mind wearing the undies in the daytime, when, many years later, I finally got the specials dept to make ones that fit and didn't irritate my skin. They were made with no lace, which stopped the skin irritation and itching, a real cap sleeve and seams under my breasts. I have sensitive skin so wearing the bra over them was no problem and protected my skin from chaffing. I bought nursing garments, nursing bras, which were worn next to the skin, obviously. The garments were acceptable attire for my new adopted culture and socially acceptable. So, I adjusted.

But, on the whole, I am flabbergasted at the level of fear people have about taking them off. Especially what I have observed in the older generations -- men and women now deceased or in their 70's and up.

They only wear the normal, regular undies (or "gentile" skivvies!!-nobody but a Mormon understands that odd use of that word!) when going to the doctor, or when swimming, taking therapy, and other kinds of events.

I have told the story before, but it bears repeating. This is a different kind of Mormon - one I never met before, but was, apparently quite common in the little Idaho farm areas of my adopted Mormon culture.

I married into a Mormon family and we often stayed with an elderly aunt (born in about 1890) that had Mormon heritage back to Nauvoo (now deceased, of course). Her home (she was a widow) was our over-night stop, traveling to and from BYU to Oregon back in the 60's.

I will never forget how she chastised me on evening, because our 16 month old little boy came out of her bathroom and lost his towel on the way to the couch to be dressed in his night wear. It had no idea that it was a huge sin to be naked. Not acceptable in her home. I was aghast. He is a 'baby" I said. Didn't matter. NO NAKEDNESS in her home.

I later found out that she never took the whole garment off even to bathe. I don't know exactly how she did it, but apparently, she used the bathtub, and took half the garment off, bathed half her body, put on half of the new garment, removed the dirty one, and so on. Those were the days of the full garment, and the one piece garment.

These are the kind of Mormons who insisted that the garment be worn 100% of the time, no matter how hot it is, or where they are - day and night, (different ones for nighttime)-they are worn like another skin. Always.

Ganesh Gupta and the Indian Mormon Shirt Sales Pitch

03/25/2007 - by Ganesh of Bangalore

Gandhi Garments from Bangalore, India. Dear bothers and sisters

We thanks Jesus Christ for Creating cotton plants. It is used to make clothes. It is comfortable wearing cotton garments

Elder Ganesh and brother Uday are deaf and dumb. We are in India. We have a business of garments. We have different size but only for men.

We live in India. We joined the Church of Jesus Chirst Latter-day Saints Church. We started working in the garment business for men only. We have different size but only for men. The white shirt 100% cotton pure quality. It is a good and comfortable.

We make garments of export quality. The white shirt are low priced dollar 34.99 $ plus get four things free worth costly dollar 42 $ as brief, tie, handicraft and courier. Please be happy and enjoy.

We believe Jesus Christ. He created the plants on the earth. The plants make the natural pure 100% cotton white shirt. It is cool on your body. It is very comfortable and is the best. It is of good quality.

Joseph Smith transalated the Book of Mormon about garment. Please the Latter-day Saint people wear the white shirt respect to God . They like pure angel verse D & C 20:6 but after repenting and humbling himself sincerely. Through faith God ministered unto him by an holy angel, whose garments were pure and white above all other whiteness.

We thanks Jesus Christ always created good cotton. We believe god. We know the Book of Mormon is true. We believe Joseph Smith was prophet of God. We know president B. Hinckley living prophet of God.

We are sell garments.

Pure white cotton 100 % shirt priced $ 34.99. get free tie, brief, and handicraft free and courier free.

Payment only through DD in Favour of Ganesh M.C address: # 124/D, III rd Main Road, III rd Stage, III rd block, basaveswara nagar. Bangalore 560079, Karnataka - India

About us garments is dedicated to your total satisfication. If you have any suggestions or comments please email us at mormonshirt@yahoo.co.in

Sincere your brother, Ganesh

P.S. Ghandi look good in garment.

Mormon Temple Garments - Conformity is too much.

The Infamous Garment Feel Up

01/06/2007 - by Stunted Recovery from Mormonism

I am looking for a parody song about the infamous garment feel up that I can sing to myself while my True Believing Mormon wife isn't listen very closely.

What brought this on is a visit from some in-laws this past week. I was wearing an old, thin T-shirt that made it very obvious I wasn't wearing the regulation underwear. My brother-in-law is a bishop and I guess he couldn't stand it.

This is a man who in the 15+ years I've known him has never touched me other than to shake hands. Standing next to me he gently laid his hand on my shoulder while mumbling something about me being "a good man". It was awkward as hell but I thought it best to just ignore his underwear explorations as he rubbed back an forth a couple of times.

__________________________________

Your wish is my command: "Put your hand on my shoulder" by Tyson Dunn

Put your hand on my shoulder
Check me for my garms, baby
Squeeze me oh so tight
Feel me for my underwear....

Put me in the right light, dear
Won't you scan me once, baby
Just look for that smile, maybe
You'll see if I'm worthy still

Some people say leaving's a game
A game you just can't win
If there's a way
I'll find it someday
Till then these fools still rush in, and....

Put their hands on my shoulder
Whisper in my ear, "Brother,"
What they want to know, "Tell me,"
"Do you wear your garments still?"

__________________________________

She Felt Thigh (to the tune of "She's So High" by Tal Bachman) by Stray Mutt

She's from BYU
She does what co-eds do
She's checks if we’re temple bound

If I could just pass the test
Then anything could happen
But I am wrongly dressed
So nothing's gonna happen
No, no

'Cause she felt thigh...
Garments missing, she’s hissing
She felt thigh...
Now I’m unworthy, lost in sin, son of perdition
She felt thigh...
She can’t love me

Not all she should be
Not chaste or tarnish free
I know she’s faking everything

So with a guy like me
She’ll make an offer
Don’t tell her bishop, please
And I can have some of her

'Cause she felt thigh...
Garments lackin’, I’m packin’
She felt thigh...
Now I’m her boy toy, booty call, her secret lover
She felt thigh...
Want’s more of me

She loves to sleep with me
I’m happy as can be
'Cause what she wants is such a deal

Yeah, I knew it all along
That this was gonna happen
They sing the same old song
Then see what I'm packin'
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

'Cause she felt thigh...
Garments lackin’, I’m packin’
She felt thigh...
Now I’m her boy toy, booty call, her secret lover
She felt thigh...
Want’s more of me

__________________________________

The Garmie Rub (tune "Ma, He's Making Eyes at Me" - an oldy from the 40's) by kg68

Hey, the Bish is being nice to me,
Hey, he's been awatchin' me
He's beside me,
Mercy! Let my conscience guide me.

Hey, he wants to fondle me,
Seein' if I'm garment free,
Every moment he gets bolder,
Now his hand's upon my shoulder,
Yikes! He's rubbin' me.

Hey, he's being nice to me,
Searchin' garmies, furtively
Keep that up, he'll meet resistance,
Hope he doesn't call assistance,
Yikes! He's checkin' me!

__________________________________

Misty by BrerRabbit

Look at me.
I’m as needley as a brand new Smithmas tree.
And I can’t tell your right sleeve from your left,
Your compass from your square.
I get misty from your underwear.

Walk my way,
And I strain to see the garments in your sway.
Doesn’t matter if it’s cotton or a blend,
Two piece or one.
I get misty just feeling your bum.

You may think that I’m leading you on,
But I want to know it’s holy drawers that you don.
If you’re not worthy, you fool,
I’m not wasting my time on your drool.

On my own,
I can’t wander through celestial worlds alone.
I’m just going to tug a button or a two,
Pull a wedgie up your butt.
I get misty just feeling you up.

__________________________________

Garmy, Garmy (tune: "Mony, Mony") by Billy Idolater

Here she comes now sayin' Garmy, Garmy
Feels me up, feels me down come on garmies
Says she'll give me love, gotta be an RM
Come on now and let me see those garm lines
Then I'll feel all right, yeah I'll feel all right
I said yeah,(yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

'Cause garms make her feel
So good, so good, so good
so right, so right
Loves those lines, so she feels all night
I said yeah,(yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

She loves those garmy gar-gar-garmies
She loves those garmy gar-gar-garmies (Sure I do!)
She loves those garmy gar-gar-garmies (Sure I do!)...

__________________________________

Exit Interview Song (Tune: "If You Leave by OMB" - created by Tyson Dunn

If you leave, don't leave now
Please don't take your tithes away
Promise me just one more try
Then we'll both kneel down and pray

We've always had testimonies
Now yours is fading fast
For the sake of every Mormon
We've got to--we've gotta make it last

I touch you once I touch you twice
I let you know, Here's my advice
You need them now like you needed them then
You always said you'd wear your g's, each day.

If you leave I will cry
I'll call every single day
But if you leave don't look back
I'll be stalking you every way

Temple vows went under the bridge
The thought gives me a chill
Heaven's our forever goal
You've got to--you've gotta say you will

I touch you once I touch you twice
I let you know, Here's my advice
You need them now like you needed them then
You always said you'd wear your g's, each day.

I touch you once I touch you twice
I let you know, Here's my advice
You need them now like you needed them then
You always said we'd still be friends

I touch you once I touch you twice
I let you know, Here's my advice
You need them now like you needed them then
You always said you'd wear your g's, each day.

If you leave
Oh if you leave
Oh if you leave
You'll never leave
the Church alone!

__________________________________

Put your hand on my shoulder, feel around (Tune: Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel) - by Pretty in Pink

Put your hand on my shoulder…feel around
If it’s garmies that you seek…feel around
When garmies get you hot, but wear’n them I’M NOT
Put your hand on my shoulder…feel around

Put your hand on my leg…feel around
When it’s garmie lines you want…feel around
You wear them all the time, but for me they’re too damn hot
Put your hand on my leg…feel around

Put your hand on my neck …feel around
You lift my shirt and look …feel around
Garmies are so neat, you can’t but help and peek
Put your hand on my neck…feel around

__________________________________

Happened to my True Believing Mormon brother at BYU - by Elizabeth

So, my brother was at BYU dancing with a girl. She was feeling his arm (searching for garments) and asking what material his "shirt" was made of. (It was a silky type of shirt). He responded "cotton-poly." I wish I could have been there to see her reaction! It was obvious he knew what she was searching for.

Anyway, it stinks when people feel it their business to see what type of underwear you are wearing. I figure, in or out of the church, it's between you and God. I hate nosey people!

Great Moments in Mormon Garment History

12/17/2006 - by substrate and others from Recovery from Mormonism

April 16, 1842 - Emma Smith, tired of her husband's philandering, creates the one-piece garment.

April 17, 1842 - Before a date with Eliza Snow, Joseph Smith invents "crotch slit" garments.

June 26, 1844 - Hoping to score some chicks in Carthage, Joseph Smith leaves his garments in Nauvoo.

September 30, 1851 - Brigham Young authorizes the use of white markings in the garments because "the red ones look gay."

November 8, 1856 - Brigham Young counsels that reprobates should not remove their garments before being castrated.

May 13, 1857 - Parley P. Pratt discovers that the words "shield and a protection" are merely figurative.

October 1, 1864 - Quorum of the Twelve rejects proposal for color-coded garments to distinguish between wives.

June 5, 1876 - First documented case of autoerotic asphyxiation using garments.

March 7, 1888 - Sister Emmeline Hansen is lauded in Deseret News obituary for having worn her garments without interruption for 42 years. Cause of death was a chronic yeast infection.

February 11, 1907 - Tabernacle Choir director Evan Stephens notes in his journal that he prefers his "Adonises" sans garments.

June 22, 1918 - Church News describes how Private Enoch Tanner was miraculously saved from certain death in World War I. Thousands of other Latter-day Saint soldiers who were not thus protected were unavailable for comment.

December 12, 1929 - Utah Cotton Mills avoids bankruptcy through lucrative contract to produce garments.

October 14, 1936 - First "panty raid" at BYU is a great disappointment.

August 14, 1944 - Church News notes that an LDS soldier was killed by a Japanese flamethrower. Although the young man's body was burned beyond recognition, his garments remained intact.

September 6, 1956 - In an address welcoming students, BYU president Ernest Wilkinson warns of a communist conspiracy to introduce rayon and other synthetics into temple garments.

December 12, 1967 - Presiding Apostle Joseph Fielding Smith advises BYU president Wilkinson that gay students should not remove their garments before genital electroshock therapy.

April 3, 1975 - Church President Spencer W. Kimball tells the general priesthood session that "soon the Lamanites will be so light, we won't be able to distinguish between their skin and their garments."

September, 1979 - Responding to an increasingly frail church leadership's inability to put on their own garments, the church introduces the two-piece garment.

July 7, 1988 - Church member LaVar Cannon dies in a house fire ignited when he tried to burn the markings he had cut from his garments.

April 7, 1996 - Business executive J. Willard Marriott embarrasses Mormons worldwide with his account on "60 Minutes" of being saved by his garments.

_______________________

1978 - Crotch enlarged in male garments to accommodate new priesthood holders

2000 - Brown garments produced for US Soldiers deploying to Operation Desert Storm. The brown color unanimously chosen to camouflage "oops" moments when Soldiers figure out they won't stop bullets.

2005 - Operation Save New Orleans launched by LDS Church. Twenty semi-trucks carry emergency supplies of garments aboard the "Hurricane Express" convoy. Upon arrival, garment distribution points are established across the Crescent City. - JW the Inquizzinator

Victoria's Sacred, not Secret

12/17/2006 - by KimberlyAnn

I'm waiting for the Morg to contract Victoria's Secret to make women's garments.

They could have all kinds of special lines of G's - Super Sexy (more see-through than regular garments), Heavenly (scented G's with that "Celestial room" smell), Angelic (come with little wings, oh, never mind...angels don't have wings), Special Valentine G's (markings in pink with an appliqued pseudo thong on the bottoms)- the options are never-ending!

There could even be a catalog sent out called "Victoria's Sacred, not Secret, Underwear" wherein real Mormon housewives model the various garment options. What a turn-on!

The look on both their faces was priceless

12/17/2006 - by spanner

My own worst garment moment (I never got to wear them myself though, whew) involved my mum. Mum is pretty well padded, what with the WOW and 10 kids and all. She also is not too comfortable in the heat, so if there is only family in the house, she will ONLY wear her Gs c/w bra on top. It is NOT a pretty sight, especially the old one piece semi-transparent ones. My nevermo boyfriend dropped by unannounced one hot summer day, we were chatting when mum burst into the lounge on some urgent errand, bustled about for a while then realised there was a visitor. The look on both their faces was priceless.

I am glad they seem to have upgraded the construction/design at least, because she is still doing it. In my heart of hearts I am hoping it is some sort of passive aggressive resitance. Dad does the same but wears a lavalava (sarong-type thing) when there are daughters around at least.

Mormons are not the only ones with sacred underwear

12/02/2006 - by Nick

Kachh is a pair of white cotton shorts worn as an undergarment. Magic underwear in some other faiths includes the 20 million faithful of Sikhism.

Kachh is a pair of white cotton shorts worn as an undergarment. It is practical in battle, and therefore symbolizes moral strength and chastity.

For more details click here:www.religionfacts.com/sikhism/things

An outward sign of an inward commitment

11/07/2006 - by Earth Mama of Recovery from Mormonism

I have been garment-free for almost two years now, though being in Utah I am still surrounded by them. The effect that seeing them upon others has on me today is very different than the effect in the early years of my life as a young mormon adult. Clothing that once engendered an increase of respect, now stimulates in me a mix of pity and wonder (especially when seen upon the form of some who are otherwise so normal and down to earth.)

I was reflecting today about the feelings I had about garments in preparation for my endowment nearly 12 years ago. I had bought five pairs of tops and five pairs of bottoms, and spread the small plastic pink packages across my bed. As I considered that I would soon be allowed to wear the sacred white undies and join the exclusive club that included so many wonderful, kind, people, people that I had admired for many years and that had offered me a more stable life view than I had enjoyed as the daughter of emotionally unstable parents, a strange mix of giddiness and satisfaction washed over me. Donning the white undergarments would be an outward sign that I had made it, had climb high enough on the mormon ladder of success (at least as far as one can climb if female) to freely associate with those whom I felt had been previously out of my league, religiously speaking.

I did not see anything amiss in my feeling at the time, but today, the memory of that moment returned to me and I realized that though I was faithful,true believer, ready to make covenants, the garments were never about God. They were for me a societal status symbol, and I don't think I am alone.

LDS people still use those ever obvious garment lines to identify one another, and as a way of assessing another's status in the church. And as we are all aware, garments are painfully obvious. They are hard to hide in modern society and styles. Though they may have originated as a way to control behavior from within, in a very personal way (can't get much more personal than one's underwear) I believe garments have a very powerful external motivator, in their role as a church/Utah status symbol.

I believe that it is possible that garments are currently designed by the church with this idea in mind, walking a delicate line between what seems like intended subtlety and yet is so blatantly observable!

If garments were truly designed to be a symbol of ones covenants with God, a small delicate and discreetly placed tattoo would be more consistent with the supposed personal nature of a covenant. Instead, I repeat the cliche heard in the church that they are "an outward sign of an inward commitment." Outward sign indeed.

Temple garments before food

10/27/2006 - by Feh

I remember one day I was lying sick in bed with a very bad case of flu. I was a newly endowed person, but had run out of garmies as I had been to sick to do laundry.

The RS prez called up, and asked how I was. I said I was too sick to get out of bed, to cook or clean and could really use some help, maybe just a casserole for my husband's dinner? I was met with stone silence. She then asked how I was doing with wearing the garmies and I said I wasn't because I had no clean ones and was too sick to wash a load.

Within an hour, two women showed up for laundry duty. And by laundry, I don't mean any of the huge load that had accumulated, I mean JUST the garmies. They didn't offer to get me so much as a glass of juice - just washed, dried and folded the garmies, ordered me to get into a pair *immediately*, and left.

The next Sunday that I was able to go to sacrament meeting, I was treated to an RS lesson on how important it is for us to help sisters in need. - 10/27/2006 by Feh.

My daughter tried on all of my Temple 'Stuff'

09/18/2005 - by Jane Aubrey #1

What a great day I had yesterday. I took my newly married daughter shopping and we had Cafe Rio (yum, yum) then when we were looking for a black skirt in my closet, I found my Temple bag. I opened it and showed her all of the things. My ugly dress, the robe, that horrible veil. She tried it on and was laughing so hard. Then I pulled up the Temple ceremony on the Internet and we read it. I knew that it would surprise her, and it did. Her response, "What kind of a sick cult is this?" She said, "Mom, if I was in the Temple and heard these things, I would freak out."

I thought about my first Temple experience (just 4 yrs. ago) and remembered how it startled me but I was afraid at the time to say anything. I think I was in shell-shock or something. Thinking about that time I'm pretty angry that NOBODY told me anything about that crazy ceremony. Just how beautiful, and spiritual it was. 46 yrs. old, a lifetime member and all I knew was there was some sort of veil, you get a secret name and everything was symbolic. What a crock of s**t.

In hindsight

07/12/2005 - by Nevermo

I am a never-mo dating a somewhat TBM (True Believing Mormon) guy... he's not a true deep down Mormon since we had sex on the second date. But the other day I was walking behind his mother and I couldn't understand her clothing lines under her shirt, and then it hit me, she had her bra on the outside of her undershirt!

I started laughing to myself because I just thought she messed up, but then the next day she did it again! I almost peed my pants laughing, then when I asked my boyfriend about it he acted like there was nothing wrong with it, like it was normal.

Why one earth would you do that? Why even wear a bra then? Especially with the high quality of bras today, you think it would knock some sense into them. Guess not.

Holiest of female holies - Temple garment accessories

05/22/2005 - by Dick

The church should design official feminine garments and sell them exclusively at Beehive Clothing Stores as another money making idea for the LDS Inc. marketing department.

Gordon B. Hinckley receives a revelation that no unholy thing may enter the holiest of female holies. He then announces that non-church approved tampons constitute an unholy object. To remain in good standing, LDS women are required to only use the official feminine products sold at their local Beehive Store. These feminine products are basically an extension of the women's garments, and they work in tandem with the garments to keep the woman protected during her menstrual cycle.

The mark-up on these things could be huge because no LDS woman would dare buy anything else.

The church could start a whole line of garment accessories --girdles, depends, etc.

Finally pulling my undies out of my butt

05/20/2005 - by TWF

Just when I think I am beginning to recover from Mormonism's cultic grip, my sweetheart points out the obvious to me while laughing uncontrollably.

Let's back up a little bit. As one of the older guys on the board, I arrived in the mission field with 10 pairs of the only variety of garmies then available - one piece specials. Mid way through, a number of us were receiving replacements from home in the new two-piece style. Well, the Mission President decided that he needed to give us a lesson on how to properly wear them. He told us to make sure we tucked the tops into the bottoms to insure that the navel mark would remain close to our skin.

Well 26 years later I am out of the church, no longer wearing garmies (duh!) but still prefer to wear boxer briefs and a t-shirt under my dress shirts. I came home last night complaining that my undies keep riding up my crack, and my darling said:

"Who the hell tucks their t-shirt into their underwear? Every time you sit down, your t-shirt pulls your briefs up your ass!!"

Another vestige of contol falls away.

Those garmies didn't protect me from...

04/20/2005 - by anon

I joined,"The Church," and followed all the teachings of the Mormons. Finally I had arrived, and I went to the temple with my wife. After the temple ceremony we dawned our garmies in he dressing room. They were the one piece kind that went to the knee and had the opening in back. When we went to the car and sat down, I felt the material slicing my ass in half. I wore those garments for many years, but when I finally switched back to the regular undies, I felt liberated from the control of wearing magic undies to keep God's commandments. The magic undies never did protect me from anything, not even my divorce from my unfaithful Mormon wife.

Mormon garments have got it all wrong

04/07/2005 - by BB

I love to talk about garments not protecting people with my cousin. He gets really defensive when I say they don't really protect you. Seriously, if they were for protection, then the garment makers would be in the helmet business. It's a better business anyway. People even wear helmets to ski now. Oh, plus I learned that Mormons think that evil spirits enter you at the top of your head --- dios mio, man.

Anyway, yet another reason for the Mormons to go into the helmet business. Or they could make condoms, which are also scientifically proven to be for real, actual protection, not the fake spirit kind. I'd suggest they make pads, too, like shin guards and elbow pads, but those types of pads are supposed to look mean, and I think the Mormons would make them in white, with like CTR on the knees or whatever. You know. I'm just trying to help them out. No one I know would ever wear garments. Besides, who's checking.

One might ask, "Perhaps there is a market for a GARMENT hat?"

Except it can't be made out of that material. I vote for a real cool helmet.

After my cousin gets really frustrated after not being able to say how Mormon garments really protect you from anything, he will tell me that they are supposed to remind you of some kind of promise that you have to make to God in the temple.

OK, let me repeat that --- you make a promise to God in the temple. I have never been in a temple or made any promises to God, but I would think it would be kind of like selling your soul to the devil --- you'd f**king remember that, dude! You just made a deal with an immortal God, who will send you to firey hell if you break it. I think you don't really need a "reminder." That's something even I could remember.

________________________________________________________

My TBM (True Believing Mormon) father was a radiologist and believed that his garmies would protect him from radiation. Needless to say, the bonehead died of leukemia at 49. Yet another example of how an otherwise bright person can do some silly shit in the name of faith. - 04/07/2005 - Jeebus

________________________________________________________

No garments leads to greater intimacy

02/20/2005 - by waking up

My wife and I have been married for so long that I won’t say how long – it might conjure nasty visuals given the rest of what I will say. We are each at different stages of leaving Mormonism, and have recently had some experiences that are so profoundly meaningful to us that I will share them, despite their intimate nature.

It has been fascinating to feel (and that is the important word) life come into our relationship as we leave Mormonism. A lot of that has had to do with raw sensuality that stirs some of our deepest and most powerful emotional forces. I have long said that intellectual forces are ineffectual against the kind of emotional firepower the Church uses, and that one must fight fire with fire. Here is a perfect example of how that can happen.

My wife (who I will call Eve) finally took her garments off about six months ago. And after having made love and slept naked in each other arms a number of times (we are both slow learners), and enjoying waking up in that state and simply laying beside each other and talking before beginning our day (something we have never done), we both began to experience some things that caught our attention.

There is something about skin-to-skin contact - lots of it - that fills a reservoir inside of me. It does the same for Eve, but the reservoir is different for each of us. Most of this experience is non-erotic. We do tend to make love more frequently than in the past, but that is the least important part (much to my surprise) of this process.

Simply lying naked together and talking pretty much every night and morning for at least a few minutes, while I rub her back, she my neck, etc. is satisfying at a level that I have experienced few times in my life. I would love to see a profile of the hormonal cocktail this causes. The feelings we have, I am sure, have something to do with acceptance at a deep level, and the simple sensation of human skin caressing human skin. I have no doubt that humans evolved to mate in this way - to bond to each other skin to skin, and so become more like one. This is a powerful part of what holds a couple together. The "become as one" concept is still, in my view, as useful metaphor. After laying together skin to skin for a while in a non-erotic way our boundaries are impossible to discern.

I am equally certain that the injunction that with Mormonism even married couples must “cover their nakedness” in front of each other and wear garments while sleeping together is part of the sensory deprivation program Mormonism evolved to weaken those forces strong enough to interfere with its control over its members. Mormonism is not unusual in this regard. Most other ideologies that are successful in the long term use similar techniques. While Eve and I were talking about this recently (while caressing each other naked in bed), she said she couldn’t believe that Mormon leaders sit around and plan these things. I responded that they of course do not. The social organizations that are survive in the long term evolve effective means of keeping their people under control, and these means usually come to be regarded as “sacred” and hence beyond question. The Mormon practise of suppressing the degree of sensual experience between spouses is simply one of the countless techniques that ideologies have evolved over the millennia of their existence that help to counteract powerful forces that may cause personal interests or allegiances to dilute institutional power.

In any event, we both feel more alive than we ever have, and this change in feeling has been so striking that we have talked about it a lot. The sexual aspect of our lives has caused some tension between us in the past, but no more than appears to be the case with most couples I know well enough to gauge this. And in our case (which is not always the case, of course), I have been the one who wanted more love making while Eve has been too tired, etc. to willingly participate. Hence, I have often had the feeling when we made love that it was mechanical and unsatisfying. And there were rare and wonderful occasions during which there were fireworks for both of us.

Eve would say that she felt a lack of acceptance; that she did not feel that our relationship was emotionally satisfying; that I did not pay enough attention to her; etc. and that this as well as the demands made on her physically by child bearing and child rearing were what deadened her sexually. Her position was, basically, "What do you expect given all that we doing?".

The change that has occurred during the last month has been nothing short of miraculous. In the past when we took off all of our clothes, it was either to shower or to make love. Both of us, we have realized, were still uncomfortable in some ways being in each other’s presence while naked. Nakedness was a temporary state required by some functional necessity (getting ready to shower; to make love; etc.). And it was bad in some inarticulate way. The injunction to "cover thy nakedness" rang in our subconscious ears.

When we began to just lay together, skin to skin, and talk to each other; to feel each other’s pulse and breath; to simply feel our physical selves, our body-shame began to dissipate. Eve has taken to locking our bedroom door as soon as we enter it each night, and undressing down to nothing. I do the same. We lounge together that way. IF I become erect while with her in that way (not the usual occurence, by the way), I no longer feel I need to hide that from her. That used to be bad news from her point of view.

Eve now comes to bed when I do instead of seeming to find almost any excuse to stay up late while I go to bed relatively early (10 pm roughly) in order to get up early. Now, we both have about half an hour at the minimum almost every night to feel each other’s intimate, physical presence, and to talk more than we ever have. In the morning we wake up and do the same before getting out of bed. This is the best part of the entire day for me in many respects. We are both rested. Life comes back into us as we touch each other. Sometimes this leads to lovemaking, but most of the time it does not.

Eve tells me that she feel my love and acceptance for her in a way that is new to her. A basic need she has felt unfulfilled ever since we married (and perhaps long before) is being met. She is satisfied, and happier than she has ever been during our marriage and probably in her life. This makes her want to make love more, and more passionately, than ever. I can feel this as we touch whether naked or not, but particiularly while we lie together with nothing between us. Whether we make love or not, she has completely given herself to me, and I to her. We both feel this. It is a new experience for both of us.

From my point of view, this process works in a completely different fashion. I had no idea that I needed non-erotic phyical intimacy. When I reluctantly get out of bed (as I did this morning) after spending half an hour with my arms wrapped around Eve, touching her in various ways and talking to her, I feel as full of life and energy as I have ever felt. And, I am satiated from a sexual point of view. I do not feel the need to pressure or cajole Eve into making love. This makes me feel acceptance at a level I have never felt it. Eve, for the first time in our marriage, is sometimes the sexual aggressor and I am happy to play along. And at other times we simply drift from the comfortably non-erotic touching into something more. It is wonderful to simply yield to this process. It feels like the most natural, and at the same time amazing, thing one can imagine.

When I think about being with Eve, naked at the end of the day or before getting out of bed to start our day, I am not thinking about sex. I am thinking about the whole enchilada - the touching; the feelings of security, acceptance and wonder; the calm we feel; the two bodies becoming one sensation that dominates both our love-making and quiet touching; etc. This is a far larger, more encompassing experience than either of us has ever had.

And, most importantly from my point of view, the experience I have just recounted has finally broken Eve's Mormon chains. She has become ready to let go. It has been a bloody long, slow process. Painful for both of us. I have wept a number of times during the past month as I have thanked her for loving me enough to stay within shouting distance until this could happen. And paradoxically, I am as certain as one can be about this kind of thing that we would not be were we are now had I not used the sledge hammer - and been ready to walk out the door - about a year and a half ago.

Great for cold toilet seats!

12/20/2004 - by anon

Hey, I still were the old, union suit one-piece mesh and corban gaments. I'm not much of a True Believing Mormon anymore, but the "G's" are my favrite underwear. I find them more comfortable than gentile underwear, and like the fact that the tops don't pull out of the bottoms. And....that trap door is great for cold toilet seats!

Ah! Get them off me! I can't stop wearing garments!

12/15/2004 - by Noggin

What is this powerful force that so squeezes the rational thought right out of me? I thought I had this thing licked.

I am unable to take the garments off.

I am controlled. Someone else owns me. It is surreal to have an body of thought dictate what underwear I don.

I know the church is not true.... yet...

What if I am wrong? Oh geez. Oh gosh.

I cannot bring myself to wear normal underwear. This I recognize to be a classic sign that I am still under "the influence". And I can't help it!

Geez it is so final. So decisive. So finite. So damning.

I will recite a poem now.

Garments.... ohhhh my lovely garments...
A second skin you are
Garments, ohhhh Garments...
Without you I am sub par
I tried so hard to take you off
I did sputter I did cough
Bewildered at your powers that be
Should discard you, I should flee
But alas... tis not so, I lament
you remind me of the sacrament
And I did try to shed this skin
Yet into my head you crept back in
You're just a symbol Smith made up
Still you persist, shall I erupt?
Garments.... oh Garments,
Relinquish your hold on me
Garments... oh Garments,
let me alone... let me be.

Boyd and Donna's doctor office visit

09/17/2004 - by Dr. Russell M Nelson

Elder and Sister Packer went to the doctors office. The nurse told Elder Packer, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample."

Elder Packer grunted, "Huh?"

Sister Packer leaned over and whispered in Elder Packer's ear, "They need your garments!"

www.lds.com is making it harder to order Garments online -- the old "temple recommed" number hack doesn't work anymore. Now, thet want your full name, bithdate and Membership Record Number. Anyone have a way around this?- Anonymous- 08/13/2004

There is nothing wierd about garments, I have been a member for 3 years, and have been wearing garments for 1 year. At first they are strange, but now I don't even notice them. They are a reminder to LDS members of the promises we have made and they also remind us to dress modestly(not frumpy), and to have respect for our bodies!, maybe other people should have respect for us who choose to wear them! - 06/26/2004 - anon

Someone's funny undies are my little labrador's tastie undies. She returned from an unauthorized jaunt walk about carying a pair. But not to worry Bailey has already chewed off at least three of the sacred symbols - 06/25/2004 - anon

Don't hate me for my garments

05/24/2004 - by Mr. Charlie

Everyone keeps asking
Nobody understands
They just want to know
about my funny underpants.

Sometimes I get offended.
Sometimes I think it's rude.
Perhaps I should start asking folks
what they look like in the nude.

They're clean and white
and covered with crosses
they make me feel cool in the summer
and when I'm feeling stylish, I'll wear golashes.

I like to wear them in the kitchen
and also to bed
and sometimes I will get drunk
and get my shirt stuck on my head.

So see, just because you don't see
all the wonder they are to behold,
don't blame me because
in your underwear you get cold.

Don't hate.
Congratulate.
I take my funny underwear creed seriously,
don't hate me for it.

My butt is pure.
Like a white bleached sheet.
You can check my garments
if you don't believe me.

______________________________________

As one who sells Mormon Garments and Temple Clothes on eBay, I'm surprised at how many Morgs try to tell me that what I am doing is illegal. They claim such things as I am violating the Morg's copyright's on the items, I am violating patent laws, etc. Is there no understanding of commercial laws by the Morgs? I have even had Morgs who are "lawyers" threaten me with legal action if I don't immediately remove the Mormon garments and/or temple clothes off of eBay. What idiots! - 05/22/2004 - Artifacts Dealer

"One man's religious icon is another man's underwear". - hermanuno

eEbay auctions of Mormon temple garments regulary make headline news in Utah. The faithful then protest to eBay who then cancel the auctions. So get them while they're hot by privately emailing Andrew and Billie Moody to purchase your own pair of authentic Mormon Temple Garments.

You may also purchase LDS garments directly from the Mormon Church's www.ldscatalog.com web site. The "For Members Only" is not a requirement. Anyone can buy them but you may have to register to set up an account. Type "garments" in the seach field and proceed from there. This is the cheapest place to purchase your very own "special" underwear.


Prayer circle for the success of Ebay garmies auctions!

04/24/2004 - by GayRM

Everyone let us fast and pray to eBay for the success and continuing growth of auctions selling garmies!

Gather in a prayer circle and say:

Oh eBay hear the words of my mouth
Oh eBay hear the words of my mouth
Oh eBay hear the words of my mouth

Let not these auctions be removed this day
May freedom of religeous persecution remain
Let garment auctions always stay
That many bids these auctions will gain

Let us make the sure sign of the bidder
And the name of the bidder is ________

Ladies unveil your mouse and place your index finger on the button, and begin bidding

Oh eBay hear the words of my mouth
Oh eBay hear the words of my mouth
Oh eBay hear the words of my mouth

Please everyone join in!

Garments check at LDS father's funeral service

04/24/2004 - by Helaman

Lo and behold I was left out of his service.

He is supposed to die in the next few weeks. He is suffering from Lupus and congestive heart failure. Right now he is in the hospital being fed through an IV and lapsing in and out of consiousness. He is coherant when he is awake but very week and unable to move. It's sad to see him like this but everybody's time on this earth must come to an end sometime.

Last night he and my sister (an ultra-TBM "True Believing Mormon" whose FIL "father-in-law" is a GA "General Authority") arranged his funeral. As the oldest child in our family (8 kids) I assumed that I would offer a prayer, the eulogy, or take some part in his funeral. But now that we have left the church he made it clear that he has no compelling reason for me to speak or be seen at his funeral. He is asking my two BIL's to speak (both are in bishoprics), my sister's GA FIL to speak, and my brother to give the eulogy. I was asked to be a pall bearer if they need one.

The talk topics were also discussed. One talk is on the first vision, the next on the apostacy, and the final one on the plan of salvation. The special musical numbers will be "Praise to the Man" and "Have I Done Any Good in the World Today?". Opening song is "Oh My Father" and the closing is "God Be With You 'Till We Meet Again".

My other brother will dedicate the grave and the local SP will offer some words about the resurrection during the graveside service.

My wife and I were asked to wear our garments on the day of his funeral as a sign of family unity. We were also asked to sing in church the Sunday after his funeral along with the rest of our family. My wife and I are supposed to pick out the song we are to sing.

My wife and I decided to attend the service but in our own underwear. My wife just ordered a plain black cotton SLEEVELESS summer dress to wear for the occasion. I'll wear a suit and tie. My shirt will be gray or blue. We will not sing in church, we will not wear our garments, and we will not be part of the dog and pony show that my family wants to put on for the special occasion.

The part that hurts though is that my sister asked him numerous times if he could find a place in the program for me to speak or offer a prayer. He said that as long as his son is out of the church that he is not welcome to participate in the regular family activities.

It just reaffirms my feelings that the church has such a grip on people and people place total faith in it that they will forsake everything that is important to them in order to feed the church's demands.

Straight from the horse's mouth: Bill Marriott's Flaming Underwear

03/07/2004 - from Fredneck

Has anybody here heard Bill Marriott's flaming underwear story?

I had only heard it apocryphally, and second hand heard that he had related something to this effect on his 60 minutes interview.

I heard it today in Frederick MD Stake conf, and it was gawdawful.

According to him, it was a muggy August day in New Hampshire, when he was working on his boat, and some gasoline that had pooled at his feet ignited from a spark on a switch.

His polyester pants caught fire, and the "spirit" told him to jump in the lake. He emerged with his trousers burned completely away, but his nylon garments and his belt intact. And of course, the only parts where he was seriously burned were outside the garment line.

Pardon my gagging noise here folks. I worked on the U of Utah burn unit for four years, and for every Bill Marriott story we saw of somebody whose underwear kept them from burning, we saw four more TBMs (True Believing Mormons) whose garments didn't stop them from having significant and delicate parts of their body burnt to a crisp.

Normally when polyester burns, it sticks to skin. The reason he lucked out was having a damp nylon layer between his skin, and the polyester of his trousers, which kept it from sticking. 'Tweren't nothing magical about his underpants at all.

The gaggable part of this story is that all the TBMs just lapped it up. Bill Marriott is particularly "spayshul" because he is so friggin rich, and because he foists BOMs on his hotel guests.

TBM magic-thinking would discount any of my observations by saying "well maybe those burned mormons you worked with were behind on their tithing, or didn't have such a significant contribution to make for the advancement of the Lard's work as brother bill did."

On the record 03/07/2004 - by Steve Benson

Mike Wallace's CBS "60 Minutes" interview with William Marriott, 7 April 1996, from the transcript:

MW: Do you wear the sacred undergarments?

WM: Yes, I do. And I can tell you they do protect you from harm.

MW: Really?

WM: Uh-huh. I was in a very serious boat accident. Fire--boat was on fire, I was on fire. I was burned. My pants were burned right off of me. I was not burned above my knee. Where the garment was, I was not burned.

MW: And you believe it was the sacred undergarments.

WM: I do. Particularly on my legs, because my pants were gone, but my undergarments were not singed.

www.templehill.com/60_minutes

I watched him say that on national television. - 03/07/2004 - Makurosu

It was embarrassing to me even as a TBM. Underwear protects you from fire??

_________________________________

Dunno if this qualifies, but I used to work on an offshore oil rig with a dude that wore garments. Apparently when he turned them in to get washed they did not come back the next morning, and he refused to leave his room. The problem with this is that he was one of the guys that works on the Bridge and his presence was literally required. It was simply amazing to see the level of brainwashing at work here; he was willing to make his relief stay on watch (after already doing his required 12 hours) just because his magic skivvies hadn't come back in the wash. We never let him forget that, and to this day I recite that story when discussing how completely LAME the entire Mormon cult really is. - 02/27/2004 - from Spyder

All of you are making light of something you know nothing about!! Garments are a very sacred thing. Those of you who "claim" to have been members of The Church, were obviously never truely converted! This is the Lords Church, and the Temple is the most awesome place in the world! - 02/01/2004 - Elder Skid Mark Brown

Burning Britches

01/25/2004 - from marilla

I meet monthly with a group of girlfriends for a potluck dinner and an evening of deep conversation - they are amazing friends - we met in our community theater years ago. They have been very supportive of my journey out of Mormonism - interestingly, we are all on some sort of spiritual quest and a lot of our conversations center on our searches for a spiritual home. ANYWAY...

One thing that has come up is the temple garments - one of my friends is still just flabbergasted about this practice and can't believe I actually wore these for years! I keep telling her I'll bring some to show her, she is so curious. I promised to bring them next time and then we could have a ritual burning so I could leave all the trappings of the church behind me - another friend said:

"That would really be burning your britches behind you!"

We laughed until we cried! Thank God for such good friends!

Lint in the navel - marrow in the bones

01/11/1004 - from Stephiedoll

The only guy that I have ever seen have belly button lint (which by the way, I didn't think existed) was a former employer. Yep, I told him that it bothered me that he was married in the temple and chasing me and wearing garmies..not a good thing so he took them off (I did not ask him to do that. And lo and behold, blue belly button lint! That is the most bizarre thing I have ever seen. After 5 years, of seeing him he still gets fuzz there. Do garmies attract dryer lint or what? Cracks me up every time.

Hmmmm...back again 4 years later. My former employer with the bellybutton lint (1/2004 post) and I still see each other. After confronting him about not wearing his G's he finally confessed that he had been excommunicated but that he could go back later. This happened just before his son's temple marriage, so he got to go. I noticed that in public, he wore something under his shirt that looked like the thin garments with the neckband cut off...is that a normal thing to do? Someone educate me on this please! - 04/12/2008 - Stephiedoll

Read my markings: "Magic Underwear"

12/12/2003 - by Steve Benson

In a post at the exmormon.org, "In the Know," referring to speaking openly about what goes on behind the closed doors of Mormon temples said:

" . . . [T]here is no binding oath to secrecy, when . . . [Mormon temple] 'secrets' are bound under such false pretenses. Still, I think it's nice to be courteous and words like 'magic underwear' do little but betray a certain bias." (emphasis added)

I must confess to having "a certain bias," so to speak, about Mormonism's cultish temple practices.

It is a bias against stupidity, manipulation, irrationality, superstition and prejudice.

Mormons do, in fact, believe in the amazing powers of their secret magic underwear, as one properly applies the term "magical" within the context of official LDS doctrine.

Carlos E. Asay, emeritus member of the LDS First Quorum of Seventy, describes Mormonism's secret magic underwear as a "piece of armor worthy of our consideration." While Asay benignly refers to Mormonism's magic underwear as a "special underclothing known as the temple garment, or garment of the holy priesthood," he acknowledges that one of its functions is to be "a protective covering for the body."

lightplanet.com/mormons/basic/temples/garments

Specifically, Mormon temple workers, during the endowment ceremony, emphatically inform patrons that this magic underwear "will be a shield and a protection to you from the power of the destroyer until you have finished your work on the earth, so long as you are true and faithful to the covenants you make in the temple this day."

nowscape.com/mormon/mormcr1b.htm

This is merely Mormonism's convoluted way of acknowledging that its temple garments amount to magic underwear.

According to Merriam Webster, "magical" means "having seemingly supernatural qualities or powers."

Again, that is, to a tee, what the Mormon Church claims to be true concerning the alleged ability of a two-piece garment of polyester mesh, stitched with secret Masonic emblems, and rolled off an assembly line in a Salt Lake City factory to ward off Satan and shield its wearers from physical harm.

That kind of nonsensical belief is, in and of itself, laughable enough.

But it becomes an insidious, divisive, destructive and inhumane tool when used--as the Mormon Church does--to convince people that:

a) this magic underwear must be earned and worn by anyone hoping to receive the blessing of eternal life in the highest degree of God's everlasting glory;

b) this magic underwear is only available to those deemed worthy to receive it, based upon their agreement to cough up a significant chunk of their lifetime earnings to the LDS Cult;

c) those who refuse to make themselves "worthy" for the "blessing" of said magic underwear are condemned as being spiritually inferior to the supposedly morally "superior" and "righteous" Mormons who are allowed to wear it; and

d) those denied adornment with Mormonism's magic underwear will be eternaly damned to a lower station of existence--outcasts from God's presence, separated forever from their families and relegated to an inferior status under the hand-picked, magic underwear-wearing Mormons who have been transformed into Gods and Goddesses to rule and reign over such "less worthy" magic underwear-less rejects for time and all eternity.

Mormonism's claims of magic underwear are not only absurd on their face, they reflect a sick, twisted, elitist and condemnatory attitude toward any and all others of the human race who do not buy into its charade.

So, I choose to call it magic underwear because it does not deserve anything remotely close to a courteous reference.

And if Mormons don't like the fact that I call their magic underwear what they believe it really is--namely, magic undewear--that, frankly, is their problem.

GARMENTS: Secret emblems of polygamy

11/20/2003 - by Deconstructor

This is just my opinion, based on my research of official church history and early Mormon diaries. I believe that the garments and the entire temple ordinances were created by Smith so he could keep his polygamy a secret.

Pre-Polygamy Mormonism in Kirtland Under Smith's direction, the Mormons in Kirtland built a temple. But it was nothing like they did later in Nauvoo. The Mormon temple in Kirtland was open to the public. All the weddings performed in the temple were open to non-members. Weddings were for time only, with no talk of celestial worlds or kingdoms. Mormons had no garments or secret blood/death oath ceremonies.

Smith Started Secretly Practicing Polygamy Smith was the first to begin secretly taking on other wives. He did so without the consent or knowledge of his first wife, Emma. Hardly anyone knew at first, only his closest associates. Smith's first secret "sealings" to these women were held in the woods at night with only two or three witnesses.

Introduction of Secret Ceremonies Smith developed the first secret blood/death oath ceremony in the room above the Whitney Store. There was no temple, but Smith inducted a few close friends - all men - into his secret order. Later, these would be the same men that first joined Smith in secret plural marriages. However, there were not yet any secret garments.

Secret Society, Secret Underwear Once his close male friends had been initiated into his new secret inner-circle of "the Church of the Lamb of God," Smith began introducing them to polygamy. It was near this time that the first garments came on the scene. Hyrum directed the sewing of the first set, which were very different than those used today. The key here is that all of this was ultra top-secret. At first, the only ones wearing garments were the ones who embraced polygamy and the secrecy it required. In essence, garments were the emblems of polygamy.

Eternal Marriage Smith taught that the only marriages that lasted after this life were polygamous marriages conducted under his new secret "sealing" ceremony. He taught that men could be "sealed" to more than one woman - even if she was already married - and these sealings would last for eternity. Smith sealed himself to many women, including a 14-year-old girl, two adopted daughters living with him, and several women who's husbands were still living. Based on the diaries of these women, the sealings included intimate sexual contact. Some resulted in children. All of this went on without the knowledge of Emma, Smith's only legal wife. See: www.i4m.com/think/history/Joseph_Smth_mens_wives

Garments and Endowments Only for Men Interesting to note that the women secretly sealed to Smith and his buddies were not endowed and did not wear garments. Emma was the first woman to be offered the endowment ceremony over a year after Smith had been giving it to his closest male friends. Smith offered Emma the chance to be the first endowed woman, but only on condition that she accept polygamy and keep it a secret. At first she accepted, but then refused.

The Garment Connection The garments were a constant and intimate reminder to the men of the secret oaths they had taken regarding polygamy and the endowment.

Secret Combinations Revealed Eventually, William Law and others blew the lid on Smith's secret ceremonies and secret underwear. Mobs started looking for Mormons wearing garments because they knew that was the sure sign of polygamy.

Regret Weeks before Smith was killed, he sent a letter to the traveling Apostles to burn their garments. Smith also burned what he thought was the only copy of the polygamy "revelation" known now as D&C 132. Smith took off his garments and instructed other secret polygamists like William Clayton and others to do likewise. Later in Utah, Brigham Young would publish a pamphlet that called Smith a fallen prophet when referring to these actions. See: www.i4m.com/think/history/fallen_prophet

Garments Become a Holy Protection Smith and Hyrum were not wearing their garments when they were killed. The other men in the Jail lived and were wearing garments. John Taylor was miraculously saved by his watch, which stopped a bullet from hitting his heart. Brigham Young and later, many Mormons, hailed this as a sign that garments could stop bullets and were not just spiritual protection but also physical protection and should always be worn. Today, that tradition haunts the lives of millions of Mormons.

Garments Divide the Fold After Smith's death, those who followed the polygamist Mormons led by Brigham young kept wearing garments and performing the secret endowment ordinances that made polygamy possible. Those Mormons who loved Smith but rejected polygamy either never wore garments or stopped wearing them. All but the "Brighamites" as they were called, rejected the secret Nauvoo temple ceremonies and recognized them for what they were - a conduit for polygamy.

Conclusion Again, this is just my opinion based on what I've studied. It's clear to me that garments and the secret temple rites are all lasting legacies of polygamy. This happened because when church leaders denounced the practice of polygamy, they kept all of the plural marriage doctrine and rituals of the temple.

But without Smith's lust for women and power, millions of Mormons wouldn't be wearing garments today. Instead, the church would be a lot more like it was in Kirtland.

A funny thing happened on my way 'round the Mall

11/05/2003 - Bob

This morning as my TBM (True Believing Mormon) wife and I were doing our morning walk in the mall, we kept passing a large picture of a beautiful woman, with her back turned to the viewer. She was wearing just a pair of panties. She was tanned and beautiful and the caption on the display said something like, "Just for him."

Each time we passed I would look at the picture. On the third pass, my wife, with a good amount of disgust in her voice said, "I really don't like that picture!!" I said, "Oh! I was just thinking how great she would look in a pair of garments."

And then I got: T H E L O O K !!!!!!!!!!!

Underwear should only be sold on Sunday

11/05/2003 - Makurosu

Since Mormon underwear is a deeply sacred thing, perhaps sales of "garments" should only take place on the Sabbath day. And maybe that should extend to all underwear, since we don't want to fall into a slippery slope.

We all know that Captain Underpants is evil, since it mocks the garments that we hold so dear, and even if the author of these pernicious books aren't attacking the Lord's underwear, he might be attacking other people's beliefs. So, these books really ought to be kept behind the counter away from prying eyes and in a plain brown wrapper.

Fighting mad - Stomping garmies

10/17/2003 - from SLDrone

Last weekend during the LDS General Conference in Salt Lake there were outside the usual gaggle of anti Mormon activist yelling, screaming, and in general making asses of themselves. Some of the cacophony was aimed squarely at outraging the conference goers. One of the more egregious acts was to publicly display the LDS temple garment, a piece of clothing that these people consider quite sacred, especially because it includes specific marking representative of sacred vows they make in their temple. One or more conference goers (presumably devout LDS) were so angered that he attacked a protester that had been spiting and stomping on the garment while publicly displaying the symbols.

Now the irony. Those sacred symbols were lifted lock stock and barrel from the Free Masons by Joseph Smith. Then they were divulged by Smith to his non-Mason followers. The compass and the square, a masons tools, which in Masonic Temple symbolism took upon greater meaning. Smith also plagiarized much of the verbiage from the Mason temple rituals and incorporated entire paragraphs in the Mormon temple rituals. In other words, Joseph Smith publicly and egregiously waved about the very Masonic symbols that Mormons now think of as their own. And just as modern Mormons were angered by this public display of their adopted symbols, the Masons were similarly outraged by Smith’s public display of the same symbols. So outraged in fact that just as their modern Mormon counterparts attacked the protestor, so to did they attack Joseph at Carthage, albeit with a deadlier outcome. Interesting irony.

How to order temple costumes from the LDS church

09/22/2003 - from Cattle Mutilator

Go to: LDS cataglog OR go to www.lds.org and click on "order church materials"

Scroll down the page to where it says "Temple Clothing" in bold and then click on "endowed members" under there.

It will take you to a page where you have to input your temple recommend number.

Type in A 0 7 1 5 X X X.

Choose any 3 numbers to replace with the X's

It will then "let you enter".

____________________________________

You know, I have not been able to afford to buy any new Garmies since my first purchase 11 years ago. They wore out, I disposed of them properly and I wish I could get more. You people should be ashamed. Don't ever take your blessings lightly. - 09/05/2003 - anon

Weird garment observation... (gross, sorry!)

07/08/2003 - from Erin

My parents visited recently, and we were walking downtown, my Mom was in front of me, and I noticed that the center seam of her jeans was being munched by her crack. I realized it was because her garments put up no resistance to the migration of clothing into the nether-regions of her bum.

Today I was walking my kids to school and noticed the same phenomenon in a woman ahead of us. (Perhaps the real concern here is why do I keep looking at women's butts?) I did not see a panty-line,so I checked her upper arms and sure enough, I found a garmie-line. (And dang it all, her daughter is in my daughter's class)

Ick! I married a nevermo so I never had to wear the gross garments, but I just know I would kill myself if I couldn't keep the center seam of my jeans out of my crack!

______________________________

New Temple Garments: Depends
Hope you have baby powder and desitin! - 07/08/2003 - from GJ

___________________________

The inventor of garments was...

07/07/2003 - from Chantelle Davis

I think whoever invented garments was probably a gay man with a wife. His wife's body disgusted him sooo much that he pretended he'd had a revelation so he wouldn't have to look at her anymore. Because come on...what straight man would suggest his wife wear those things??

On a sidenote, I was attending Utah Valley State College (which is just a few miles away from BYU) a few years ago when I overheard a conversation between what I suspect to be a young female non-member and a young man recently married in the temple. They were talking about garments and the girl asked, "Doesn't it bother you that your wife can't wear sexy lingerie from Victoria's Secret?" and the boy said, "If my wife so much as thought about getting those kind of clothes, I would divorce her because I don't want to be married to such a slut!" Isn't that sad?

Garmie Crotch Stains

06/25/2003 - from Buffy

When I was younger had a horrible time with nitetime "wet dreams". Gosh I'd dream about havin intercourse with everyone from my Bishop to my brother & sometimes animals. I spent alot of time scrubbing the everwet crotch out. I always wondered if others spent so much time obsessing with the crotch cleaning process. Every month I was trying to get the blood stains out. And all too often I'd get the trots and not make it to the toilet ontime...then be scrubbing crap stains out!

Tossed them in the garbage one day and said the hell with it! I mostly wear crotchless now and sleep in the buff. And don't obsess anymore about my god damn crotch stains. I've always wanted to ask others about this problem? Anyone else give up?

Temple Apron and Garments at Goodwill

06/23/2003 - from The Princess

This weekend my girlfriend and I went to Goodwill looking for stuff. She was over looking in the house ware department and came back with what she thought was a really cool green apron, it was hand made real nice needlework on the front. It was her big find, since she just painted her kitchen green. Very excited about it. Since she is a never-mo, she had no idea what it was. I standing there laughing so hard that I almost wet my pants.

She didn't understand until I explained to her about it and asked her where she found it; I was hoping to find a chef hat to match. Then when my TBM family came for dinner I could dress up while cooking dinner. No luck on the Chef Eddie hat. But did find a female robe and veil, where in very good condition. Even Goodwill didn’t know what they were since they were in the costume section or maybe they did?

Also at another Goodwill we found garments, new in the bag. I also explain those to her. I loved her comment," No wonder all the Mormon women I know are unhappy and depressed, I would be also if I had to wear that stuff." She did buy the apron to hang in her kitchen. As I said you can find cool stuff at Goodwill.

They didn't have the fullness of underwear

06/21/2003 - from Perry Noid

They didn't have the fullness of underwear.

As strange as it seems, as a TBM kid, I judged people by their underwear. I'm confessing now because, as I was taught, confession is good for the soul.

I think that converts have an edge over BICs (people who are born into the Church) in seeing a broader perspective that includes both life in and out of Mormonism.

But when irrationality is inculcated from infancy it distorts your perspective in weird ways. One manifestation of this is that, as a BIC, I spent most of my youth feeling that non-Mormons were somehow "not whole." When I met a non-Mormon I would instinctively feel like there was something wrong with that person. They were defective. They were missing something.

Maybe this feeling spilled over into my sub-conscious as a result of hearing it repeated over and over that we had the "fullness of the truth", the "fullness of the gospel", the "fullness of the saving ordinances" and the fullness of a whole lot of things, while I was repeatedly told, on the other hand, that non-Mormons only had parts. And we Mormons all knew that having just parts is not as good as having the fullness of anything that you could possibly have a fullness of.

For example, as a Mormon kid, I knew that the non-Mormon parents of some of the neighborhood kids didn't have the "fullness of underwear". I knew this because I personally saw their non-regulation underwear hanging on their clothesline. My parents, being devout TBMs, did have the "fullness of underwear."

To kids, bigger is almost always better, and my Mormon friends in the neighborhood all had parents who had big underwear. Those non-Mormon neighbors didn't and that meant that they were obviously defective people.

As a kid, I just couldn't understand how they could not see that their underwear just didn't measure up to the full-sized underwear enjoyed by Mormons. Why would anyone in their right mind accept a lesser underwear, when they could see fully endowed underwear flapping in the breeze on their TBM neighbor's clothesline??? Those people were not whole.

I carried this unarticulated presumption (that non-Mormons were not whole) with me into the mission field. But as a missionary, I began seeing many, many non-Mormons who not only seemed whole, but seemed to have truths that I and many of my fellow Mormons were missing. (Of course I never asked to see and no non-Mormon I met ever offered to show me their underwear, but I knew that since they were non-Mormons, they didn't have the fullness of underwear in there under their street clothes.)

Well, maybe they didn't have big underwear, but the idea that underwear could signify superior spiritual attainments was starting to seem silly and petty to me.

Maybe it was just the result of a maturing mind displacing childish prejudices. But I met so many wonderful non-Mormons who had no interest whatsoever in converting to Mormonism, and who could see problems in Mormonism that I had been too childish to admit to, that I began to empathize with their view of Mormonism. And this new-found empathy for an alternative point of view was one of the things, in addition to my disillusionment with the Temple rituals, that finally helped me to break out of the box.

It sounds stupid. But, as a result of believing in Mormonism, I judged people by their underwear. Thanks for hearing my confession.

_____________________________

A funny experience re ' fullness of underwear ' in the mission field.

My comp and I had a Jewish landlord. One day, not realizing that he was present, I stepped out into the living area in my G's. Our landlord looked at my G's and exclaimed "Good grief ! What are they? " Not wishing to cast pearls before swine, I replied " Just some special long underwear." Thinking that I was wearing them to keep out the cold, he advised "No, no, no....get rid of them. You need something like these" (pulling up his trouser leg to reveal his ankle-length, fleecy-lined 'long Johns ' ) - 06/21/2003 - Observer

God doesn't look at our outer/undergarments, but rather our hearts. - from Kelly - 05/28/2003

I'm not a Mormon but my wife is. When we first got married she didn't wear the garments or tell me anything about them. After a couple of years of marriage, she explained about the temple and the garments and asked me how I felt about her wearing them. I was open to the idea so she immediately put them on and they have been a way of life ever since. Now here's the kicker... I love the way my wife looks in garments! If she were to stop wearing them I think I would cry. - 05/02/2003 - anon

I was thinking we could just get tattoos...then we can wear anything we want and still be "protected".

Anyone remember a story that had to do with a person who was in an accident and beheaded. This may be a total myth, but I thought it was funny when the person told me that the mans body was protected...Hullo? He was BEHEADED! It did'nt sound like a BLESSING to me. - 05/02/2003 - anon

After nearly 30 years as a funeral director I have no proof that the garment protects people.

Believe what you may, but I've seen airplane accidents, burn victims and automobile accidents. Not one astounding testimony that a person was actually saved by wearing magic underwear.

Although, I must admit that business has always been better since I started wearing them. - 05/09/2003 - James, Des Moines, Ohio

"What's wrong with your UNDERWEAR?"

03/27/2003 - from Fly

Oh my freakin' fetchin heck, I wish I could sue the church for "pain and suffering" over this moment!

I was 21, in Sacramento, and it was April. The weather was starting to heat up... I had been married and "endowed" a few months before, and I didn't have any shorts long enough to cover my special new Utahliban Underoos.

So I went shopping. I was trying some shorts on in a changing room, and I was between one pair and another... the saleswoman was a little pushy. She wanted me to try on a skirt, too, so she opened the door of the stall, and... there I was, in all my celestial glory.

"What are you WEARING?"

OH my gosh, I was mortified. I tried to explain...but with the Bra in the More Sure Place (OVER the little undershirt, as if you needed that visual...)! She could not understand.

"Do you....HAVE to wear all that?"

I actually believed that the Spirit would help me out in my situation. I tried to summon it to help communicate to the saleswoman about the special powers of my underwear, but to no avail. "They protect us... against... accidents... and the buffetings of Satan..."

She still just stared at me, open-mouthed, bug-eyed.

I left the store and wore pants that entire summer.

Okay, two garment stories here

03/21/2003 - from anon

Okay, two garment stories here:
1) two years after my mission I got engaged to an ultra-holy Mormon girl who had already gone through the temple--she really started to freak me out after a few months because, for one thing, she was already talking about our "children", and she wanted to name our first-born (boy OR girl) "Corban" (sorry if I spelled that wrong, my garments have been packed away and sealed in a box for seven years now and I didn't want to bother with the trouble of checking the spelling on the tag of my former underwear).

2) Six or seven months after I broke the engagement with this girl, I was at a fireside with a friend of mine and I started telling her about this girl I had a date with the next day; she said "be careful"--my date was Catholic and we all know where that can take us (this was NOT in Utah). Well, I had my date and really liked this girl, the next Sunday I was preoccupied with all the bullshit I had suppressed and made excuses for throughout my life (things I questioned a lot, especially on my mission--I was faithful like crazy but it got damn hard to go on without looking at the whole thing like a cult; my asshole mission president didn't help matters either).

Anyway, during sacrament meeting I just snapped and decided I wasn't going to come back ever again--I was scared, like no other time in my life before or since. It was liberating, I actually had to stop myself from telling off some of the bigger assholes in my stuck-up ward.

The following Friday I sealed my fate by having phenomenal sex with the Catholic girl. I was too poor to go out that day and buy regular underwear so I put my mesh and corban garments away and cut the knee-mark out of my cotton pairs--that was my normal underwear for about a week.

Seven years have passed and this web- site has been my only looking back. P.S. is there a portion where the willing can share their temple names? I'd love to see how many of you have mine.

Rather have bleeding hemmoroids

03/15/2003 - from jeannie

Yep, I once wore magic jammies, and I would rather have bleeding hemmoroids than wear thoses ugly hot rags again.....buy the way it would be nice to have a site set up for all of us who went through the temple, we could play the name game! Mine was SARAH, now isnt that original? Yep, me and how many other SPECIAL women given this secret name....Here I was thinking when I went through the temple that I would be given some wonderful name that no one else would have, you know if ignorance is bliss then mormons are the happiest people alive......PURPLE COOLAID ANYONE

I love to wear garments

03/10/2003 - Theo Hirsch (Formerly known as tedd)

I love to wear garments because of the sweat
that oozes from my pores, and makes me all wet.
100 degrees in the summer I endure,
because heavenly father wants me spiritually pure.

As I walk down the street while the weather is blazing,
I dig in my ass and find it's simply amazing.
Because I cannot seem to dig those things out,
from within my ass crack I get pissed and shout!

But then I remember the promise I made,
inside the temple, I would never get laid.
Of course if I marry then it is ok,
to give her my ding-dong and play sexual games.

But what happens when she takes off her clothes?
Those garments she wears makes me cringe to my toes.
A woman so pretty and right underneath
she's wearing those garments, I can't help but heave.

I will be protected I will not get hurt;
I will be in god's care wearing the bottom and shirt.
They're long and they're ugly, and not designer gracious,
and hang out my backside while tying shoelaces.

They have special signs that are there for a reason,
just wear them Goddamn it, don't matter the season!
Wear them all day and wear them all night,
wear them with holes and pants that are tight.

Do not remove them and always be good,
do as your told just like Joe Smith would.
We wear them and wash then every six months,
go over to beehive and then pull real stupid stunts.

We buy some more new ones and put them right on,
we don't even think of the physical harm.
A heat stroke, no sun, and a down right white bod,
just go to the new stake center and help lay the sod.

Remember to wear them and remember to suffer,
because this is what makes us spiritually tougher.
You wouldn't want comfort not shorts or tank top,
just wear your damn garments the questions now stop!

For only six dollars per pair you can be,
in spiritual safety and without any worry.
The spirit will guide you and keep you from hurt,
just put on your garments the bottom and shirt!

Garments Are A Guy's Best Friend

(Tune: ""Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend", with apologies to Marilyn Monroe" by Shakjula - 03/08/2003)

A gun or a knife can be quite instrumental,
But Garments are a guy's best friend.
It's true that I know Green Beret fundamentals,
Still Garments are a guy's best friend.

Detroit makes new cars with both front and side air bags,
Lo! Garments are a guy's best friend.
The gym rats laugh 'n scoff at the way my crotch sags
But I'll win the game,
Cuz I'm immune to flame -- and other hazards.
So let the bombs drop,
They'll even make shrapnel stop.
Garments are a guy's best friend.

[manly dance sequence here]

Garmies!
Beehive Industries!
Protective!

Though Kevlar is bold, and steel is cold
They'll never save your soul in the end.
Whether poly-blend or tall-cut
These skivvies will save your butt
Garments are a guy's best friend!

V Necks Fool Job Interviewers

01/17/2003 - from garmentwitch

RE: Capitalizing on Garments in Utah

You really do need to wear them, but you can get a scoopneck tee-shirt to wear on interviews. My husband was looking for a job for 3 months...before we tried this. And guess what a job on the next interview he went on! God, I want to go back to Michigan!!!! Oh, and by the way they do come right out and ask which ward you belong to...on both sides of job interviews (I work in HR)

Capitalizing on Garments in Utah
Global Warming

12/14/2002 - from anon

Somebody wrote: "If you are in the business world, in Utah, one wears them for financial gain and acceptance. That seems the only reason I can think to wear them.

Huh? Exactly what business are you in there in Utah where underwear scrutiny bears on your success? - 05/25/2002 - from mike undies"

MIKE- Almost any business here in Utah that requires public interaction will be benefited by the use of the "garment." Even some construction jobs require letting your “smile” be seen. I’d personally like to crack them a vertical smile.

If they don't see it, they will outright ask if you are a member of "the" church or if you are LDS.

After asking them what that has to do with doing business, or telling them that I am no longer interested in being a member of their club, I have found business waning... Now, I wear them "religiously" when wanting to make the big sale. And lie by telling them how wonderful being a member is…Remember: The best way to succeed in Utah is to capitalize on "The Church," and it’s members.

Southern Mormons Don't Wear Garments
Global Warming

11/02/2002 - from anon

I don't know about the rest of the country but down here in Georgia where it gets hot and humid and stays that way for about 6 months, I have noticed that none of the Mormons in my ward wear their garments outside of church or temple sessions. At first I thought that it was just a cooincidence, seeing the bishop's wife at the grocery store in a pair of shorts and tank top, seeing the High Priest Group Leader mowing his 5 acre lawn drenched in shorts and shirtless, seeing a member of the High Council in jogging cloths all day long, seeing the young married dressed the same, even pregnant women in shorts. I started keeping a log of when I run into fellow members outside of church, what position they hold and what they are wearing. Its been more than 2 years since anyone in my ward was seen in their daily outdoor activities wearing garments during the months of May through September.

Except those full time missionaries. God have mercy on those poor suckers. I don't know how they can tract in the summer heat all day long while wearing a costume that is entirely incompatable with the weather conditions to which they are not acclimated. They probably lay around the air conditioned chapels or their apartments most of the time and I don't blame them.

When the temperature gets above 98 degrees and the humidity approaches 100%, your body can not loose enough heat without sweating enormous amounts over a large surface area. If you even move, you generate more heat that has to be lost. If not your body temperature rises and when it gets up around 106 degrees you feel so sick you can't stand up. If it gets much higher you will have a seizure and die. You can kill someone in only a few hours by wrapping them in a blanket and putting them outside on a hot humid day. This is why few civilized people lived in the South before air conditioning. And with global warming, the problem is only going to get worse.

Saved by the Seam Ripper

11/02/2002 - from anon

I am beginning to leave the church and am bothered by the fact that I have gotten used to wearing these horribly unconfortable things. I can't imagine wearing my bra without something in between and panties ride up just as bad as garments! I don't know if I'll ever find comfortable underwear! To top it all off, I just bought new garments and they are costly so I got out my seam ripper and removed the marks! I haven't been stuck by lightning yet...

Garmies Through the Generations

10/27/2002 - from KentS

My grandparents wore thick cotton garments that went to their wrists and ankles. My parent's generation wore one-piecers that went below the knee and they came in a variety of fabric. My generation gets two-piecers and they are much shorter. I'm sure the next generation will get thong garments and maybe even labels like Victoria's Secrets!

Missing the Boat on the Knee Marking

08/03/2002 - Kim

If those markings are literally supposed to cover the appropriate body part, a lot of people are going to be in trouble for the knee one. Whose garments cover their knees nowadays? Mine never went that far down my leg ever...one-piece OR two-piece. In fact, after my mission I got some two-piece nylon mesh ones that yanked out the hairs on the front of my thighs. It wasn't long before I had enough of that and opted for "normal-people" underwear.

The marking should been designed to cover the asshole. No one would ever have to worry about the marking NOT being over its intended body part. In fact, the saints have to worry that TOO much of the garment works its way INSIDE that particular body part. Instead of "Every knee shall bow..." the phrase could be "Every asshole shall raise to be screwed by the Morg."

I laugh remembering the sight of my mission president grabbing his ass in public and yanking his garments out of it. He even did this in church giving a talk. He had been doing it so long, it was an involuntary reaction to him.

I guess we need to remember to cut the TBMs some slack when they act particularly "anal." After all, they've got a bolt of cotton-polyester blend shoved up their ass!

Old Deseret Gym on 25th Street

07/12/2002 - from Wish I Could

As a young, heathen, non-believer, growing up in the great Land of Zion,...Ogden to be exact, I took great pleasure in going to the old Deseret Gym on 25th Street. I was on s secret mission. (The gym was so stuffy that women were not allowed to wear a bikini in the swimming pool. If the top were at least a halter, and the bottoms "shorts", it would be considered, but the one-piecer was the safest way to go).

There were no private dressing stalls in the women's locker room. I almost enjoyed seeing those modest "Molly Mormon" women changing out of their street clothes. It was so hard not to laugh. Here were these beautiful women, only a few years older than myself, all covered up by these baggy,ugly shapeless garments. I would walk around proudly in my colorul flower-printed bikini panties and lacy skimpy bra. I wanted to remind them that they, like me, were female.

A few years after that, there was a major front-page story in the Ogden Standard Examminer "Ex-Mormon Women Burn Their Garments in Front of Ogden Temple. I hoped that some of those women had been inspired by me.

Submitted by a woman who thinks that women should be allowed to be beautiful, not humiliated by their over-bearing cult- oops religion

High Caliber Garments

06/09/2002 - anon

Considering the laws defending concealed weapons and requiring one household gun in Utah's deep south, howabout a campaing to persuade the church to build holsters into the church undergarments? Then if some sacriligious soul mocked the sacred Jell-O the faithful Mormon could whip out his "piece" and blow the scoffer away. This would be a really high-caliber endowment.

Akita - The Garment Wearing Dog

06/09/2002 - anon

My sister-in-law had a pair of the women's garments that she had "borrowed" from her next-door neighbor's clothes line. We put them on her dog (an akita) I laughed so hard that I pissed my pants. She then took him for a walk in her back yard. How fitting...it was a Sunday in Utah after all.

When all was said & done, I took the garmies to another state where they were hung on the company bulletin board with a sign stating: "Latest high fashion from Salt Lake City" Someone else got a hold of a pair of men's and added it to the collection. We left it for nearly 3 weeks.

Having grown up a non-Mormon in UTAH I can really appreciate it!

____________________________________

Somebody wrote: "If you are in the business world, in Utah, one wears them for financial gain and acceptance. That seems the only reason I can think to wear them."

Huh? Exactly what business are you in there in Utah where underwear scrutiny bears on your success? - 05/25/2002 - from mike undies

My Boyfriend thinks I look sexy..

04/18/2002 - from dogmad

Weird? Yes....Cultish? Without a doubt...But still the most comfortable men's underwear there is....I still wear my one-piece mesh ones and I haven't been to church in 20 years. My boyfriend thinks I look sexy in them, so why stop wearing them? I really wish underwear manufacturers would make men's underwear out of all the great fabrics that garments are made of.

Granny Pannies Anger Fiancee

03/11/2002 - from pissed off fiancee

You know as I study more about religions and such and have a Mormon fiancee (still wondering if they will pull the he must convert or you can not marry him stunt) I have come to realize that the garments are not really availible out side of the temples. I could not even find a website at which for her to purchase them.

This must mean that me being one who does not follow any one religion but has looked at many, must first drive over 24 hours to a place where I must wait in the parking lot for her to go in and buy her "ugh Granny pannies." She use to have a great body until she started wearing the gastly things. I swear that they are a licence for her to not care about how good she looks. Then I get to drive that trip back home just to remember what sex was like before she converted. It almost makes me wonder what they did to her in that temple that makes her afraid to show her body.

If I was not a man of my word this would have made me leave her long ago.

Fruit of the Buffoon

03/11/2002 - from Appostate and lovin' it

In keeping with the several new names the church authorizes for it's self and others and in an effort to become more "mainstream" perhaps we should call this atrocious, and extremely uncomfortable garment by a name that accurately depicts it’s true nature. - Fruit of The Buffoon

Wore Garmies as a Joke - Now I Love 'Em

03/11/2002 - from Vashti

"If it weren't for me, Beehive Clothing would probably go out of business. I have to admit that there's something about being an Eastern Orthodox gay male who smokes, and wearing the Garmies -- kind of a kinkiness. I love 'em. However, Mom, you never showed me how to get into a pair of one-piecers, and I wound up getting stuck in the crotch hole. Nearly choked.

I prefer the 100% cotton variety, myself. Man-made fibers make me itch.

Yes, I wear Garmies most of the time. I started wearing them a long time ago as a joke in college, but then I became really accustomed to them. However, I do keep a supply of unsanctified undies in case I have to go to the doctor or something.

I enjoy wearing them because I have a big ego and feel that a special person deserves special undies. Kidding. The main reason is that I like wearing something that is forbidden to me. Kind of gives me a thrill, as sad as that may seem. And, no, it's not difficult getting the garmies. I purchase them myself directly from Beehive Clothing. Basically, anybody can get them. And I've seen the female version of the Garment, and I have to say that they're perhaps the most atrocious things that ever happened in women's fashion. For guys, it's nothing more than basic underwear with some stitching on the front.

As for the boyfriend, I almost always wore normal underwear whenever he was around. One time I had forgotten that I had on the Garmies, and he saw me in them, and said, "What in the hell are you wearing? Where the f*** did you get those?" I explained to him what they were, why I wore them, and where I got them from. Eventually, I managed to dress him up in a pair, and he said he was pretty comfortable.

God, my life is so sordid.

I've become slightly superstitious about wearing Garmies. For example, I won't attend a meeting without wearing them, and I always go to my Orthodox parish wearing my Garmies. I don't know what it is about them, but they almost become some sort of talisman for you when you wear them. I don't believe that they'll protect me from physical harm, but I suppose I have this sneaking suspicion that the Garmies bring me a bit of luck. I guess you could say that they're my wearable rabbit's foot.

The boyfriend, after the initial shock of seeing a pair of Garmies, has come to embrace my inherent weirdness and sees it as just another quirk.

Why Mormons Are Fanatical About Garments

03/11/2002 - Deconstructor of the Recovery from Mormonism bulletin board

Here are the references:

On another thread here, people are recounting stories of TBM parents and friends who wear garments ALL THE TIME, including during sexual intercourse.

Fanaticism over wearing garments is strongly encouraged by Mormon leaders. Here are some examples:

"The garment represents sacred covenants. It fosters modesty and becomes a shield and protection to the wearer." -Apostle Boyd K. Packer, The Holy Temple

"There is, however, another piece of armor worthy of our consideration. It is the special underclothing known as the temple garment, or garment of the holy priesthood, worn by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who have received their temple endowment. This garment, worn day and night, serves three important purposes; it is a reminder of the sacred covenants made with the Lord in His holy house, a protective covering for the body, and a symbol of the modesty of dress and living that should characterize the lives of all the humble followers of Christ." -Apostle Boyd K. Packer, The Holy Temple

"I fear that too many Church members take for granted the promise of protection and blessings associated with the temple garment. Some wear it improperly, and others remove it to suit whims of circumstance. In such cases, the instructions of modern prophets, seers, and revelators are ignored and protection placed in jeopardy." -Elder Carlos E. Asay (Former President of the Salt Lake Temple), "The Temple Garment", Liahona, Sept. 1999, Page 33

"The blessings which flow from (wearing garments) are sufficiently great to recompense for any mere inconvenience. To break our covenants is to forfeit the protection and blessings promised for obedience to them." -First Presidency Message, 3 July 1974

"Church members who have been clothed with the garment in the temple have made a covenant to wear it throughout their lives. This has been interpreted to mean that it is worn as underclothing both day and night. This sacred covenant is between the member and the Lord. Members should seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit to answer for themselves any personal questions about the wearing of the garment. The promise of protection and blessings is conditioned upon worthiness and faithfulness in keeping the covenant." -First Presidentcy Letter to Priesthood Leaders, 10 October 1988

No wonder some Mormons take it to extremes and feel unsafe when they aren't wearing their garments.

True Believing Mormons really think their underwear is magical protection.

Indian Ghost Shirts and Mormon Garments

03/11/2002 - Matt2 of the Recovery from Mormonism bulletin board


This Sioux ghost shirt is believed to have been
worn by a victim of the December 1890 Wounded Knee massacre.

The ghost shirts were supposed to be invested with "magic qualities that made the wearers invulnerable to bullets," Prucha wrote. The Glasgow shirt is the only ghost shirt in Europe with a lineage linking it to Wounded Knee, said David Hartley, director of the museum of the South Dakota Historical Society in Pierre.

For more details and references: http://www.southbendtribune.com/99/feb/021599/local_ar/157556.htm

Apostles Caught With Garments Down

03/11/2002 - bentrider

The Mormon authorities are caught on the record virtually declaring that the garments have magical powers. Once again this proves to me that the key to the success of the Mormon Church is the low expectations held by its members. They sacrifice comfort and convenience for the privilege of wearing magic underwear, and they are mostly SATISFIED with the performance of their magic underwear--even though a set of faux leopard skin undies from Jockey would be equally effective in providing protection. However, the garments do excel in protecting the faithful from romance.

Girl Garment Gymnastics - Temple Tricks

03/11/2002 - NOM soon to be EX - from Recovery Bulletin Board

Upon arriving home from the hospital after giving birth to my first baby, I was finally able to take a shower, and then I began to get dressed. I was ulta-TBM at the time, and so I knew that my garments had to be right next to my skin as much as possible. First, I attached a pad to my maternity garment bottoms, and put them on. Then, to help hold the pad in place and minimize stains on the garments, I put on regular underwear over the garments. Next, I put on nursing garments, you know, the ones with the holes by the breasts that after one washing come apart to expose your nipples when you wear them. Then I attempted to put nursing pads next to my body, and keep them in place with a nursing bra worn over my garments (this was quite a feat). Then, I took a break and looked at myself in the mirror.

After a moment of pause in front of the mirror, I ripped everything off and went into the bathroom to sob for about an hour.

If they hadn't invented chemise style tops, I would be on Prozac now, I have no doubt.

Anyway, women basically have to do something like wear panties somehow while menstruating because you would stain your underwear otherwise. In addition, the panel on women's garments is asinine -- it has a seam down the middle, so they ride up your butt (more than regular underwear so more yeast infections), and the seam does not hold pads in place at all. Plus, for petite people (like me) the waist can pulled almost up to your bra. I hate them!

Now that I have one foot in the church and one out I do the normal-panties-garment-top-only thing that someone else mentioned, just because it's still winter and I'm cold without the top.

I could go on and on complaining about garments (and I always wore them faithfully). Women really do get the lousy deal here -- most non-LDS men wear undershirts but women DON'T. I hate the way the tops bunch under my arm pits in hot weather and the pits yellow.

Finger Garments

10/31/2001 - bentrider

It seems my friend "D" hit and smashed her thumb and was in some severe pain due to that. I was thinking that maybe the FKAM (Church Formerly Known As Mormon)could issue out some "extremity" garmies to protect our fingers, toes, nose, ears, etc. Surely she would have been protected by the Garmies.

Why, I remember back in the day when Paul "I never told a lie" Dunn and I were serving in the Big One. I was stationed in Drambui of the Barbary Coast. I remember Paul and I taking several thousand rounds and walking away unshot. Why, I testcle that I know that if we did not have our Garmies on, we surely would have been killed... or worse. I do remember catching a finger in the bolt of my M-1 Carbine and wishind doG could send me some extremity garmies.

So, that is my story. This all happened, really! I say this in His Holy Name, Jo-Smith, Shalom.

___________________________________

10/11/2001 - Judy

I live in the extended land of Mormon in the burbs of Boise, Idaho. I can say that when the dearest, most devoted LDS couple next door had a domestic dispute, one of the first things to be thrown onto the lawn was the garmies. they lie upon the yard like an ivory flag of truce, dismissed becaues the passion of anger was tooo strong. I later found out they were his garmies and she had caught him having a cyber session with a very non-Mormon young lad. To each his own.

06/30/2001 - anon from recovery bulletin board

My older sister was married and had a couple of kids when I came to visit after several years outside the state and away from the church. (Completely away from the church and things like garments.)

My sister and I were at her house in the morning when she told me she'd bought a negligee that she was planning to wear for her husband to 'heat' things up a bit. She asked me if I wanted to see it and if she should try it on for me. Woman of the world that I was, I said, "Sure!"

She came out of the bedroom with the negligee on OVER her garments! Oh, gawd! It took a lot of willpower for me to keep a straight face and not roll on the floor laughing. I wonder now if she could see in my eyes what my real reaction was.

I have never forgotten it. I was totally unprepared for it because I'd been away from the whole garment-thing for so long.

06/29/2001 - NOMO in AZ from the recovery bbs

I remember talking to a girl in the bar at the Mirage Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. As it turned out, she was a former prostitute at a brothel in Winamucca, NV. When I told her I was from Utah, she said, "I always knew when my customers were from Utah, they wore funny underwear".

06/20/2001 - by Green Garmies

I'm active duty military, and enjoy wearing the OD green garments. The main reason I like them is because the briefs truly are briefs. I can wear normal mid-thigh summer shorts when I get home from work and take of the cammies.

Of course my wife thinks they're horrible. Once when she made a fuss I told her that my great-grandpa wore wrist and ankle-length garments, and that his father's came in a whole variety of colors. Ain't nuthin magical about having 'em white.

Besides, the nice thing about OD green is that the skid marks don't show up so bad.

05/29/2001 - retired ZCMI salesperson
Several years ago, when I first went into the counter to buy these Gawd awful things, a little lady told me how I would cherish wearing them. That I would feel so empty without them, and feel so blessed for the opportunity to have them...well all I can say is I'm still waiting...not a day goes by that I don't hate what the men of the church has done.

If you are in the business world, in Utah, one wears them for financial gain and acceptance. That seems the only reason I can think to wear them.

05/29/2001 - DVD
I thought Jesus came to fulfil the law, so why are we still wearing Adams briefs?

05/20/2001 - mac
I've been a funeral director for years and have yet to find any evidence of bullets, fire, knives, drugs, carbon monoxide, or rope protecting a person from harm.

Brigham's Folly

05/20/2001 - by Mac

Break loose of these bonds of a lustful Brigham...Let loose and enjoy your freedom.

No longer to proclaim a protection of Mirth...

But align ones self with Christian worth.

So where is truth of the Saviors wearing

Of such awful disdain, the gospels mooring

10/05/2000 - Lorna
I wore the garments for 3or 4 years. Left the church about 2 years ago. I'd be happy to discuss them with anyone who has any questions. BTW, did JESUS ever discuss the holiness of His undergarments or their necessity for salvation? Nope.

You may write me at:

Lorna Snell
3212 53rd Street
Sacramento, CA 95820

09/23/2000 - anon
Like Muslim women who are required by their men to protect themselves from the gaze of men by the way they dress, Mormon men mandate the oddest dress code requirements for LDS women. For their part, the men have allowed themselves arguably mainstream T-shirts and briefs. But when it comes to what they mandate for LDS women, they take a Muslim-like approach: cover-them-up!

Their women are required to wear a T-shirt complete with cap-sleeves and heavy edging along the back, shoulders and chest. This keeps the women from wearing sleeve-less tops and dresses because, as everyone knows, sleeve-less is immodest. Oddly, while transparent blouses are thereby discouraged outside LDS population centers as a way of avoiding the curious gaze of passers-by, in mainstream Mormon locales, transparent tops are commonplace and provide a means of proving one's 'card-carrying' status.

Add to this a pair of undershorts that stretch from waist to knee and then top it off with a firmly entrenched tradition, unsupported by an known written doctrine, that this under-suit combination must be worn next to the skin and what do you have? The assurance that no LDS women attired in this fashion will ever stand in the mirror and enjoy her femininity!

While most readers here will simply say, "just take them off!" such a move is too dramatic for women who want to attend the temple. Why not take the simple step of putting women in charge of the design with the mandate that the markings must be the first and only consideration? First, away with the cap-sleeves! The top becomes a camisole cut-off at lower midriff so it doesn't need to be tucked in. And this business of being next to the skin, why?

Isn't there pressure anywhere building up to come up with a rational approach?

09/19/2000 - KJL
I never wore the nylon or "fishnet" garmies. Never even tried the early two-piece variety. I was too much of a "purest" in those days. But it was good that I wore the cotten version. After I finally realized life did not necessarily have to be lived the "mormon way" I found out that the cotten garments made the best rifle cleaning patches for my black powder muzzle-loading rifles and muskets. I wonder if Orin Porter Rockwell did the same? Folks then knew how to get the full value and use out of all their belongings until there was nothing left. Didn't make sense to burn up old clothing that could be "recycled" for other uses, then or now!

09/07/2000 - Jammin J
I am getting ready to go through the temple and it really doesn't scare me. I see my wife in her garments and think that she is the most beautiful women in the world. Even though I was excommunicated and then rebaptized I still feel in some ways that I don't belong there. Oh well it's all good! Nothing to fear here.

09/04/2000 - anon
My funny story about undies is how, after I left the nuthouse -- er, LDS church, I tore them apart and used them as (excellent, may I add) furniture polishing rags, then threw them away. My husband and I later regretted having thrown them away, desperately needing something soft and absorbent to line a birdcage with.

I love how the old geezer-prophets in Utah talk incessantly about "garments" and "sex", considering them both "sacred". I'm currently Pagan, and we consider sex sacred, too: THAT'S WHY WE DO IT. The old Utah farts tell you to wear your garments "continuously" -- by that line of reasoning, shouldn't "good mormons" be having sex continuously? By the way: I suspected even before I "fell away" that the reason sex is such an obsessive subject (starting, for the Gods' sakes, when you're a MIA maid and ending shortly before you take your last breath), is BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE NEVER GET ANY.

09/04/2000 - anon
YOU STILL WEAR THE DAMN THINGS?! Good night, I tore mine up and used them for dust rags. Then I threw them away, which I deeply regretted a short time later since I needed something both soft and absorbent with which to line a birdcage.

08/30/2000 - Moisture24@yahoo.com
I am only gonna say this once.....WHAT 2 CONSENTING ADULTS DO IN THEIR ROOM IS BETWEEN THEM AND THE LORD.....IT IS NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS...a wise bishop told me that once...let the oral sex begin!!!

08/24/2000 - anon
Control, it all boils down to control.

Where else can a man tell you what kind of underwear you should wear, when it is appropriate to wear it, where to buy it, how much it costs and how to dispose of it.

And to think it all started when you were 4 years old singing "I hope they call me on a mission"

08/23/2000 - anon
I never ceased to be amazed at the experience of going into the Beehive Clothing outlet to buy garments . . . take a number and wait, wait, wait. Where else can you find men and women standing in the same queue to by underwear. You can't take it off the shelf yourself. No, you have to step to the counter, state your size and state your preference of mostly synthetic materials. Does Hanes, FTL or BVD make 100% polyester briefs? Do I have to have a friendly lady collect my underwear preference for me from a back room? Why do I have to search for a parking space in a small parking lot, stand in a crowded room full of people and take a number all to simply purchase underwear? What have we come to?

07/25/2000 - anon
Are you really reminded every time you put on those Gawd awful things of your covenants?

I love tossing out old rotted ones I've been wearing marks and all. Eventually I will run out of the things and get some real underwear that don't cut into me at every seam. I still believe those women at Brighams Secret Mill$, love making seams of rope to remind you of your covenants. Only 4 more pair till freedom. Remember every pair you buy contributes to the delinquency of the church.

07/16/2000 - anon
I had a friend (an RM) who engaged in pre-marital sex with another RM. She became pregnant..... and couldn't understand how God had let them get that far as "they both had been wearing their garments!" As if in moments of temptation the garments would either repel the object of lust or perhaps become completely rigid, making further sexual advances impossible.

07/15/2000 - anon
OUCH! Watch where youre stickin that needle, Sister!

07/06/2000 - Randy J
I remember one man said he had a dream that he died, and when he got to the other side there was a multitude of people wearing temple clothes. He was so happy that he had made it to heaven. Did he really, or was it hell and he just assumed that because people were wearing temple clothes that he had made it to heaven.

If all the people he saw were having to wear those clothes, it sounds more like hell to me.

06/13/2000 - Randy
Mine had been in the bottom of my closet in a moving box, in a paper bag for 5 years until a couple weekends ago when I modeled them for my boyfreind, he was intrigued by the whole thing and found them to be very sexy.

We joked about wearing them to the next underwear party at a local gay dive bar. If the Lard hasn't burned down the Eagle for the pot-smoking and the gay sex, maybe this would piss him off enough to level the place.

06/12/2000 - David
I always thought that they were special in that if I ever had to take them off in the process of - just about to commit adultery- , the woman would see them, and be horrified at how ugly they were, and flee; thus saving my marriage and my recommend would be valid. Whew the Power of the Holy Melchizedik Priesthood saves me again.

06/12/2000 - Amy
I remember this old chain smoking aunt back when I lived in Smalltown Mormonville Utah. She had was born and raised in the same town but had never really been active in the church. She once moved into an apartment where someone had mistakenly left behind some garmies. She found them and decided to use them herself. She thought they were so comfy that she wore them for a long time.

It used to disturb my True Believing Mormon family members a bit, but it was always good for a chuckle now and then. It just disturbed me that she would actually wear someone elses underwear. Hmmmmm.

06/07/2000 - Lori
All seriousness, I am considering going to the temple and these stories totally freaked me out. I've totally went through the whole "I wont feel sexy thing" is there someone who can give me something good about garments to help just a bit, do the blessings really outweight the whole sleeve and shorts thing?

06/01/2000 - Bill
I've always felt that the purpose of wearing the garments at night was to prevent the couple from having skin-to-skin contact and therefore being encouraged to have sex too frequently. Works for my wife, anyway.

05/10/2000 - Debbie
I knew I was truly out of the LDS church when I stuck my old garmies in the garbage MARKS AND ALL!! Yes, I felt truly liberated at that time. Mind you, I kept one pair of the one-piecers for posterity. After all, in another 25 years, we could be seeing sleeveless, or even bikini garments and then nobody will believe that anyone was dumb enough to wear the old, ugly ones with the flap in the back for going potty! Actually, I hear that some very devout individuals used the flap to make way for sex, but wouldn't that just be TOOO weird???

05/02/2000 - Jim A
I recall when I was in the service a few True Believing Mormons would wear their Garmies and most of the guys were from places where they never heard of Mormonism, much less magic underwear. Needless to say the MO's who wore them got to reinforce their sense of martyrdom.

"Hey, whut in hell are them things yer wearin? Hey sarge, come look at this guy! Haw Haw Haw. God Dam boy, whut in hell ARE them things? Looks Russian to me. You a Commie boy? Huh? Gawd Dam, I seen some weirdos before, but - Gawd Dam"

04/27/2000 - gringa
I had just finished a Mormon mission and moved from SLC to San Diego. I was working as a nurse and trying to fit in, meet new people. I was talking to a girl at work and she said "So do you party?" I said sure I do. The she looked at my leg, I was wearing white pants. She pointed to just above my knee and said "what's that?" I said Oh that's just my underwear. She said "Are you a Mormon? I thought you said you partied." I thought she was talking about birthday parties, Halloween parties, etc. So much for making new friends.

04/24/2000 - anon
When I was in the LTM (Language training mission) a long time ago, we wore the old one piece garments with the back side that didn't button up very well. I will never forget coming upon a district of missionaries at about 4 o'clock A.M. kneeling in a circle holding hands and praying. I call his lost ceremony "the bare-ass prayer circle".

04/21/2000 - anon
Did you know that Joseph Smith, Hyrum Smith, and John Taylor were not wearing their temple garments when they were shot in the Carthage Jail? Willey Richards was wearing his protective garments at that time. He was a big fat guy and it would be pretty hard to not hit him firing a gun several times in a small room. It helps to visit the scene where this gunfight/double murder transpired to catch the full grasp of this event. An angry mob of over 100 armed soldiers hell-bent on killing. Four large Mormon men trapped in a small room, diving under the bed, shooting back, screaming and probably swearing, swinging a big cane, jumping out the window. Three of them end up looking like Swiss cheese when its over. The biggest and slowest one in the middle doesn't get a scratch.

Cause and effect? or just luck? Either way this historical observation is the naked truth that underlies the Mormon obsession with underwear.

)4/24/2000 - Brigham Smith
Note to self: When visiting Carthage, Illinois, be sure to retrieve old garmies from trunk and put them on, lest I be martyred.

And this "curious" question...Will Garments* protect me in a barfight?

*I do not personally know Will Garments, but the name sounds familiar.

04/05/2000 - anon
I always though it would be cool if they made sexy garments with velcro crotches. They could still keep their little geometry lesson on there, but it would be more fun if they came in different colors (paisley could be pure) or were edible.

03/26/2000 - Hanes
Did anyone ever have that dream when you were TBM about walking around in public in your garmies? I was always trying to hide my G's at the gym when I got dressed. A couple of years ago I was rooming with a co-worker at a conference. He happened to see my long baggy crotch down to the knees one piecers. I said "You have seen my secret Mormon underwear, now I am going to have to kill you..." He wasn't sure for a moment.

I have never seen as much skin in 20 years of marriage as I have in the last 2 years since we took off our undies. My wife feels and looks and acts sexier. Now she has all kinds of cute black undies. We can wear shorts now and she goes sleaveless. What freedom.

03/08/2000 - anon
One of my friends married his wife on her 16th birthday. She was pregnant. They never actually "went all the way." He claims he never took his old one piece garments off, she never took her panties off and they kept grandma's hand made pioneer quilt between themselves at all times for protection whenever they started "fooling around." So Elder Dunn, how big of a man does that make my friend?

02/24/2000 - Lady DB
I knew I wasn't going to make it as the Church Lady when I asked the lady at the temple commissary if I could have black lace garmies instead of the usual white bloomers with matching top. She nearly passed out as she said to me faintly that I had only the choice of several varieties of white garments unadorned except for the Masonic symbols. I opted for the one-piece silky ones but God they looked weird under my leggings! I'd roll them up to the top of my thighs and they would form this 'snake' which only a long tunic could hide. I was continuously battling wedgies--often in public; how the people would stare as I would try to wrestle crumpled material out of my crack. I bought the garmies skin tight as well because again, I liked to wear leggings and I didn't want wrumpled messes of sack cloth clumped around inside my clothing. It was also a bitch to have to hike down the neckline and pin it down somewhere near my naval so that I could wear my favorite low cut blouse. I truly think that if I could have had the black lace garmies with the deep V neck and the thong back--that I would still be giving away 10% of my income to this day.

This was one element of deeper doctrine that, because of my excessive vanity and flashy, cheap fashion sense, inevitably led me away from the Crutch of the Ladderly Sandwiches.

02/17/2000 - anon
About 20 years ago i happened to live next to our stake president. for some reason i was at his house one day. as i walked toward the front door to leave he said to me "dearest child (or something to that effect. my father had been dead since my childhood and this really touched my heart.) Let me teach you something." i turned around to face him and this is what he said. "the brethern teach that oral sex keeps the spirit of the holy ghost away from you." I just stood there and looked at him in amazement. i was flabbergasted. i didn't know what to say so i just hustled out the door. Looking back at this incident I've always wondered what prompted him to say that to me. Did i look like i wanted to give him or someone else a BJ? Did my mouth make itself into a funny shape without me knowing it? Had my husband been telling stories of our sex life in priesthood meetings? I know those meeting are boring, but come on!!! At this point in my life I am deeply offended that he would say such a thing to me without me bringing up the subject. still shaking my head. He didn't even mention G's I got so caught up in my story that i just realized it is not specifically about funny undies. Ah well, it is a true tale.

02/12/2000 - anon
I had taken off my undie bottoms with my jeans one night. Next morning, forgot the old undies still in the jeans and dressed with clean pair. Walking in the mall, felt something tickling my leg - kept shaking my leg and thinking "what the hell is in my jeans? After one more good kick, out flew yesterdays undie bottoms(the long-leg kind)onto the mall floor. I looked down and gasped when I saw my garment bottoms sliding along the tile. Snatched them up and stuffed them in my purse!!!Too Embarrasing!!

02/11/2000 - anon
My husband and I both molted about 6 months ago (those baggie drawers) and I just chucked them in the trash this week finally - what a relief... I just never realized the depth of this grip on me - the manipulation and emotional blackmail.

02/10/2000 - R
I have really been struggling with what I believe and find a great deal of peace putting all of my underwear in the trash two days ago.....

01/31/2000 - Matt Manti
Who in the hell could be gullible enough to let a church tell them what kind of underwear they are allowed to wear? MORONS ,that's who!

01/30/2000 - anon
During the latter-days of my membership with the Latter-Days I was in the Washington Army Nat'l Guard. Was still wearing my temple garments but I kept some regular underwear for drill weekends. Besides, we had to wear the regulation brown t-shirts under our BDU uniforms.

One guy in the unit was a friendly LDS guy who was in ROTC. Imagine my surprise when I saw him undressing in the barracks and he had on military brown temple garments with the symbols sewn on! Thinking that temple garments had to be white, I asked him where he'd gotten them. He said that the Church made military brown garments for LDS servicemen! I was glad to see that the Lord was willing to change LDS dress codes to correspond with US Army regulations. Question--is a LDS Army veteran still allowed to wear his brown garments or only on Veterans Day?

01/13/2000 - exlemming
...about the garments orthodox jews wear, the constant reminder Gs are of your covenants,blahblahblah.But really, what better indicator could a tyrant have of his total dominance than the ability to dictate his followers' choice of underwear?

12/17/1999 - a curious Anti
If you sneak out of Utah to have a few drinks and end up getting drunk and accidently piss in your holy underwear,do you automatically go to hell?

11/30/1999 - abelard
Just to be fair, consider that the workers who make garments in SLC are quite well paid. I have no doubt that the Church is still making a bundle on 'em, but at least they aren't exploiting Third World children or something.

11/01/1999 - Sweden
A big step for me after leaving the Church was going to buy underwear. I went and bought two weeks worth of colourful boxer shorts, along with a couple of pairs of lycra for exercise. It was so nice not to wear those awful white things anymore. It was especially embarrassing when I had to go to the gym locker room and change out of my garments. Looking back, I think to myself, "What kind of religion tells you what underwear you have to wear?" Any Church that can tell you what and when to wear under your slacks really has too much influence over its members. If I went to a Protestant Church and found out that they required members to where special underwear, I would run away as fast as possible!

11/01/1999 - Brian M.
In response to Heather's question: Could someone please explain the underwear. How can underwear be holy?

I don't think anyone can explain that. Even the believers don't know: as part of the Mormon temple ritual, they were handed this underwear, and they were told never to talk about it, show it to anyone, let it touch the ground, and never, ever to remove it (except for sports, showering, and sex -- and some people don't remove it even for those activities). But do they know why? Not really. They were told that if they treat it with respect, "it will be a shield and a protection unto [them]," but what exactly that means isn't really clear either, even to them.

Wednesday, May 21, 1969 First Presidency letter allows LDS servicemen in Vietnam to dye the regular, one-piece, temple garment to match green color of military-issue underwear.
Source: The Mormon Hierarchy, Extensions of Power, D. Michael Quinn

"The garments worn by those who receive endowments must be white and of the approved pattern; they must not be altered or mutilated, and are to be worn as intended, down to the wrist and ankles and around the neck. Admission to the temple will be refused to those who do not comply to these requirements. The Saints should know that the pattern of endowment garments was revealed from Heaven and that the blessings promised in connection with wearing them will not be realized if any change is made in their form or in the manner of wearing them."
—Joseph F. Smith


10/05/1999 - two women speak on garments
I remember removing my garments (I had worn them *always.*) I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my body with normal women's underwear on... and I was amazed... I was a woman. That may sound like an odd statement to men, but I think other women will understand that.

I completely relate to your experience about looking at your body in "underwear" for the first time. I remember when I first quit wearing my garments and how feminine I felt. WOW, actually had breasts and a waist. It was very liberating and for the first time in my life I began to feel sexual, not a droid without any sexuality. And even though I didn't fit the, what I perceived as the ideal, weight, shape, looks, I felt sexy and powerful.

09/26/1999 - Don
Wouldn't temple clothes make a great Halloween costume?

09/26/1999 - Deanna
Dusting with a pair of garments is not only effective at cleaning furniture, but it makes me whistle while I work! :)

09/10/1999 - G
When I was a late teenager, my Bishop advised a group of us senior youth about the wearing of garments. He said that when we marry in our early months of excitement we would probably want to have sex without our garments on. He said that after that period we should progress to keeping them on because we were advised to keep them on at all times. He said that this made it an even more special experience

08/09/1999 - sd
My husband has another reason for still wearing the bottoms only of his garmies. Of course they have been majorly cut, and altered so they are about the length, somewhere between boxer and jockie shorts. In the past 11 yrs since we've been married he's lets say put on a pound or 60! :-) The garmies were the most comfortable thing he had to wear and wanted to be able to wear shorts. So we cut them and I sewed them up, and he's got umpteen pair of tailored garments, no signs of any markings, long, long, gone.

08/31/1999 - Brigham Smith
For those who are out of the church but still feel a slight attraction to it, the answer is "Black Garments". Check Fredericks of Salt Lake for availability

09/07/1999 - Kathy S
When you mentioned "bullet-proof garmies", it reminded me of something that happened a couple of months ago. I had just taken off my garments, for good. My hubby and I were cooking on the grill in the back yard. All of a sudden the wind changed, a flame leaped out of the grill and came straight at my chest. I looked down and saw it hit my shirt and chest, then arch away from me, back in the direction it came from. I looked down, my plastic buttons weren't melted and the shirt wasn't singed at all. I automatically thought in my old morg ways, "my garments must have protected me!". THEN....I pulled my shirt collar forward and looked down my shirt... I couldn't stop laughing!! I had no garments on!! This was soooo refreshing and invigorating! I had been "protected" and I had no garments on!! Thanks for reminding me of that wonderful day.

(Sing this to the tune: HokeyPokey)

He puts a high-hat on
And pulls a wedgie out;
The church calls them "garmies"
But a tile-man calls it grout.
A priestly testimonkey,
Borgy, ladder-climbing fame;
That's what it's all about.

courtesy of MaKolob - Songs of Zion

This snip is from "60 Minutes and Mike Wallace interviewing Gordon B. Hinckley, Steve Young and Willard Marriott (hotel chain) aired 04/07/1996

GBH: We're reaching out across the world. [cut] We're not a weird people.

MW: A weird people?

GBH: Yes.

MW [standing in front of SLC temple]: Mormons know that some outside people think they are weird. Why? Well, for one thing, devout Mormons wear sacred undergarments for protection from harm--cotton undershirts with undershorts that reach to their knees.

[WM interview]

MW: Do you wear the sacred undergarments?

WM: Yes, I do. And I can tell you they do protect you from harm.

MW: Really?

WM: Uh-huh. I was in a very serious boat accident. Fire--boat was on fire, I was on fire. I was burned. My pants were burned right off of me. I was not burned above my knee. Where the garment was, I was not burned.

MW: And you believe it was the sacred undergarments.

WM: I do. Particularly on my legs, because my pants were gone, but my undergarments were not singed.

[Steve Young interview]

MW: And do you think that the sacred undergarments have kept you from harm on the football field?

Steve Young: I actually take them off to play football. The sacred nature of them, I find that the nature of football, and the sweating and so forth, I actually take them off, and I think that's probably prevalent with athletics in the church.

MW: Really?

Steve Young: But my teammates have enjoyed when, you know, you're getting dressed and you're putting your garments on. They, they think they're pretty cool, a lot of them. And they're, uh, "Hey, where'd you get those?" And I always tell them, "They're way too expensive." [Both laugh.]

08/16/1999 - Gary
It is my personal opionion that before I am dead, the whole garmie thing will change. Specifically,
1) garmies will be optional outside the temple, but will be required for temple cerimonies.
2) garmies will be reconfigured to look like everyday undergarments. you know, bras and panties, and tightie whities for men.

Fredericks of Salt Lake City. - 08/10/1999 - anon

08/13/1999 - anon
Lets get it straight, money is evil, unless it is sanctioned by a devine act of rightiousness. So we will continue to by tight fitting ill sized garments that have extreemly wide beads of cloth, more like rope holding them together. It's whole purpose the greneral authoritys claim is to keep people from going to sleep anytime they them. The old sleep deprevation trick.

We actually looked at the haines brand and found it would be considerablly higher workmanship and less outlay, even considering the adding of the symbols. The church sells these cams that fit onto most models of machines. The biggest drawback is the churck could pretty much loose 50% of their revenue. Keep raising those children to go to the temple and on missions and we will have created a multimillion dollar labor force not to mention inventory of garment line clothes to last the eternaties.

With this we should demand a deduction in the 10% tithing. because of the savings which would have been approved. By the time Monday rolls around again,,you would be much more agreeable. You may need a stiff drink, but you will be much happier.

Does anybody know if I could sell my tokens on the eBay site? Could be fun . - 07/25/1999 - James

Just had to tell you that my shitbird dog chewed the crotch out of my garmies. Now they're definitely holy underwear. - 04/04/1999 - Julie

That's great J. But now, everybody's going to want one of the new "Canine-improved" models. You may have launched a new Garmie Designer series. You know, the line carried by Victoria's Secret and Fredericks of Hollywood. We could even offer flavored crotches for the epicurean elite. Hell, we could offer an entirely _edible_ pair, with seven courses of flavors for those who prefer to skip dinner and get right to the dessert! HmmmmmUm. - 04/04/1999 - VBG

We could bring a whole new level of passion to LDS sex lives. I love it! Munch munch munch, pass the salt please. Gourmet, Low-Cal and Vegetarian versions for every taste. Any other creative ideas for devouring the garmies while your loved one moans and giggles in ecstasy? Wow, this is hot! Let's do Chinese tonight dear. ;^D Hmmm, creative accessories like chopsticks! (heeheehee) Where's the whipped cream? Cherries anyone? Got milk? - 07/25/1999 - BT

When my husband was buried I had him buried in his uniform. He was wearing garments underneath and then the church wrapped a set of temple clothes in the casket for him.... but then dont ask me, I have no clue where the resurrection changing rooms are????.... 07/01/1999 - Anon

"A recurring...subject concerns the special underwear worn by faithful adult Saints. (Frank) Cannon noted that Joseph F. Smith was president of the Salt Lake Knitting Co., which had a monopoly on garment manufacture, and no garment was approved for wear without the official label. 'By which ingenious bit of religious commercialism,' Frank remarked, 'the sacred marks on the garments (accepted as a sort of passport into Heaven) have been increased by the sacred Smith trademark that admits the wearer to the sacred Smith heaven.'

"In pioneer times, Utah wives used to make the garments from muslin or any other material available, from flour sacks to bed ticking. Because of the scarcity of buttons, they were fastened by strings. When the church took over the manufacture, strings remained, but the fabric was knit. This caused the first cry of outrage from the devout, which has followed every change of detail or pattern since. Over the years, buttons replaced strings; arms and legs were shortened to adapt to modern style trends.

"Following the excommunication of Apostle John W. Taylor for post-Manifesto polygamy, one of his brothers in fury announced that he was taking off his garments. This, in Mormon society, is comparable to public burning of the United States flag. When a Saint is on trial for church membership, a most serious charge is that he doesn't wear the garments.

"The air-tight monopoly by the church of the LDS underwear market had long been a thorn in the New York clothing industry, which yearned for a piece of the action but couldn't muscle in. Even though New York could offer the identical pattern and equal quality at one third the price, Mormons refused to wear anything without the approved label. However, New York noted that with the trademark due to expire, the church hadn't aplied for its renewal. The day after the trademark was in the public domain, bales of garments from New York appeared in the Utah market, bearing the approved label. For awhile there was consternation in Salt Lake.

Then came the inspired solution: a new trademark, this one with purple printing. As the Saints rejected anything without the purple label, New York retired in confusion." (Rocky Mountain Empire, Samuel W. Taylor, pp. 134-135.)

So, when a church leader asks you if you "wear the approved garment," keep in mind that he really means "Did you buy it from us?" Randy - 08/04/1999

Oh, I haven't even mentioned yet my idea for tie-dye garments. For those who don't like the inconvience of garments, but still want that "temple feel" I am thinking of creating Veil Mark Pasties TM . When placed properly on the body, these pasties provide all the divine protection of garments, without all the bother. They are available in flesh tone for the man or woman who wants to be bit more revealing. Robert - 07/23/1999

Additional Comments Section

Is it not enough for all you to live your own lives and let others live theirs? You need to make fun of something that one person believes to make yourselves feel better? What a poor waste of your time to discuss matters that are not for you to discuss such as the garments and their markings. Get a life!! - 11/10/2010 - Rediculous

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YOUR ALL kupal ! AHAHA ITS SO FUNNY THIS IS ALL A TRASH DONT ! ULL BE CURSE BY DOING THIS .. AHA THIS IS ALL A LIE ! YOUR PICTURE'S ARE ALL FAKE ! AHAA THIS IS ALL TRASH .. - 10/10/2010 - tigas ulo

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True story from my mission I just want to share.

We were doing splits with the zone leader, I was with the zone leader Elder McConkie (that's right) in his flat waiting for our companions to return. It was late in the evening as our day was finished. I found a paperback copy of the "Satanic Bible" by Anton Lavey. He claimed it was for research for one of their investigators (whatever that means). I was curious and layed down on his companions bed and started reading. It was actually a boring read what little I skimmed. After awhile Elder McConkie told me I should stop readind the book. I ignored him. I found that about the last third of the book was spells in some language, maybe latin. I was flat on my back with my arms in the air holding the book and I began reciting the spells outloud.

I know that I wasn't pronouncing alot of the words correctly but it didn't matter, the effect was chilling. He told me to stop. I kept on chanting. He got louder "STOP IT". I ignored him and I read louder and faster. "Really man you gotta stop it!" Elder McConkie shouted.

I was pretending to be in a trance and kept reading out loud practically shouting. He finally couldn't take it any more and ran across the room and knocked the book out of my hands. I started laughing hard. He picked up the book and wouldn't give it back to me.

He was looking at me weird. He said he thought I was possessed. I laughed harder. He kept looking at me with a look of caution in his eye and that didn't help me to stop laughing. I finally calmed down and he began to trust me that I wasn't possessed.

Whenever that memory pops up in my head I laugh out loud. Elder McConkie running across that room and knocking his Satanic Bible out of my hands.

Thanks for the memory. I know this wasn't about garments but I don't care. - 08/07/2010 - "The Bear" E.L.M. '93-'95

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This sounds like the old days when people persecuted and murdered the saints for their beliefs. Why don't you do your thing and leave God Fearing people who have done wonderful things all over the world for people who are starving and in war torn countries, hurricane victims, and any other tragedy you can name alone. Who knows, you may be one of those people that need help someday, and oh my gosh, those Mormons that wear something you think is wierd and have persecuted because of it are the ones coming to your aid. I will be anxiously waiting in heaven some day, to see what happens to those of you who are so free with your persecution of God fearing people and their beliefs. It only proves to me that there are still and always will be people who are so messed up in their own lives and have such low self-esteem that they have to have someone to bully and laugh at. X-Baptist now devout Mormon who has prayed to God and received the truth. - 07/23/2010 - anon

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i don't even believve in god. but found this site amazingly amusing. you crazy cult obsessed mormons. - 07/20/2010 - anon

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I am not a Mormon, nor have I ever been. I am aware of the under garments that Mormon's wear, and I think that this site is fairly ridiculous.

If you're old enough to be an ex-mormon who has at one point worn Mormon undergarments, you're old enough be respectful of something you dislike. It is the common habit of insecure teenaged girls to rant and rave about silly things such as underwear, or a former religion. If you've had a rough life, suck it up and move on. Be positive, and quit acting like you're back in junior high. - 07/14/2010 - Confused Agnostic

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this makes me so sad that a site would list all this sacred information about others. I am even more sad I landed on this site - 07/09/2010 - anon

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this is pathetic. do something positive with your time - 07/01/2010 - anon

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REALLY?! Obviously you on here don't understand the pure importance of wearing the sacred garment!!! Don't judge and post things if you don't really know! One day I hope you will find our savior and understand the importance and safety of going through the temple and wearing the sacred clothing! They are NOT like you post pictures of, they are changed and very sacred. DON'T JUDGE OR TELL IF YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW!! You will be tested one day and I hope you don't have to stand before our Savoir and feel stupid for the poor judgement you have on his sacred clothing! One day you'll wish you had followed his plan! You all on here posting lies and things about them make me sick. Get a life!! Be prepared in the last days to explain to our Savoir! - 01/20/2010 - REALLY?!!!

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DONT USE THE HOLY GERMENTS TO KILL PEOPLE. THAT IS A BIG NO NO! - 11/26/2009 - Anon Y. Mous

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growing up i used to see my dad in his one piece corbans all the time, getting ready for bed, he used to make it a night time ritual of walking around the house, putting the kids to bed, in just his one piece garments looking back in hindsight, i think he liked being seen in them! - 06/03/2009 - 1-piece zipperfront

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In the name of Jesus Christ, you who had done this great abomination before God, stop making evil about the Church or you will suffer Torment of Hell after this mortal probation! You and I will stand before the Lord at the great Tribunal of God,and you will surely melt like a candle before Him for you will know perfectly how wicked you have done to His Church! You have no right to blaspheme the Church of God, you who have done this! The time will come that your body is about to crumble on earth where it came from, and remember these words 'coz these will TESTIFY AGAINTS YOU! I testify that what we believe is TRUTH and I will not vary from it no matter how evil you had accused against THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS. THIS IS THE TRUE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST! - 05/09/2010 - anon

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We have these things for a reason, I can't believe you are going to disobey god because your uncomfortable in these. The reason we have them is to keep us modest. Being modest is a commandment of the Lord and I hope that maybe someday all of you will realize that the church isn't making you wear them. Its your choice and most people don't see it as i have to, its I Want to. - -5/02/2010 - anon

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You think that making fun of others beliefs is the right thing to do? What reigion are you teaching your children? This could be a form of bullying? Is that what you believe that Jesus would want you to do and teach others to do. This is part of the reason that we have all the trouble in our schools that we have. It stems from what the children are taught in the home. - 04/18/2010 - anon

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if god wanted you to wear white why would that be so hard to do? - 04/01/2010 - bob

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OMG!!! I was screwed by the morg literally a few years ago and I didn't realize it until just now!!!

I am from a small town in WVa and didn't know much about mormonism until I went out west on business. I dated what seemed like a nice guy from Ogden, UT who was pretty cool but secretive and always was spewing all this anti-moromon sentiment. Looking back after we broke up I quickly realized the reason his schedule was so regimented and that he got so irritated at me when I rang his phone over weekends and evenings was that he was married.

But only now, almost 5 years later do I realize what his funny looking undershirts were all about!!!! He was also lying about being mormon!!! Thank you internet!!!

Hahaha! A self-loathing Morg!!! - 03/25/2009 - anon

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Really, no one has anthing better to do then to just rip on the garments? I dont know maybe go out and play with your children, watch a great program, read an interesting book, go on a nice hike, spend time with your spouse... I feel really bad for those that have worn the garment and now are bashing it. I feel this way because I have been a member for over 10 years and have just gotten my endowments. I feel so blessed and feel honored to wear the "G's" I can not explain to you the spirit that was before me when I took out my endowements and the only thing that I can think if is that you all never got to truly experience that. Thank goodness for free agency, for you and for me. - 03/25/2009 - Proud of the G's

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Okay, doesnt it accure to ANYBODY that this is definetly a cult???? I mean to purchase mormon clothing you must enter a MEMBERSHIP VERIFICATION CODE and it has to match up with your birthdate and name, seriously? I'm Jewish and proud of it, and I have gotten into this mormon shit because the girl I love is mormon, I mean I can't see how she believes this shit? Oh course she won't date me because I'm not a faithful mormon lds church member but seriously someone needs to open these people's eyes to the fact that they're religion is completely fake and that joespth smith was high when he made it up, seriously there is no doubt in my mind that this ISN'T a cult. - 11/30/2008 - Not a mormon and loving it

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Of course wearing garments is "strange" to you who don't believe in the reasoning for it; before I was a member, I thought it was silly and conformist as well. Now that I am Mormon, I wear them 24/7 and am proud to. So they don't look like traditional underwear... so what? Do all of you anti-garment people out there really care so much about what we wear? We're crazy and brainwashed anyway, right? They are modest because we believe in modesty and are a sign of our devotion to God.. not unlike the Jewish prayer shawl. Come on people.. get a life. I don't have a site dedicated to berating people's strategically visible thongs hanging out of their pants.. although that is way more well deserved :) and to all you ex-members on here slandering things that were once sacred to you- i guess the old adage is true: you can leave the church, but you can't leave it alone. A wish of peace and enlightenment to you all :) - 11/13/2008 - Audrey

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those who have wrote comments on this sight must not believe in God because if they did they wouldn't have said the things they have said and for your sake he better not be real because if he is you should and will be ashamed of yourselves. It is sad that there are people like you out there who have no shame in the things they say and do about those things that should be held sacred. - 11/12/2008 - so sad

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Do you have no respect for others or yourself? If you don't support a religion that is fine, but please learn to at least respect their views instead of mocking them. Anyone who knows anything about Mormonism knows that the garment is not something to be dealt with lightly.

Please discontinue. - 11/06/2008 - Clarke

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In response to the conformity garment picture, someone needs to check their dictionary because last time i checked conformity means to do what everyone else does and not be different. All this blog and picture does is mock something that is different from the norm. you who have obviously stopped wearing your garments appear to be the ones "conforming". It seems to me that this kind of underwear makes a lot more sense than a tiny piece of material that has a cartoon on it with a little string up the back side to ride up your crack, or a little lace thing that costs $80. honestly are the garment so CRAZY? its long boxer briefs and a t-shirt. So what if there are marks on them, millions of catholics and other Christians wear crosses all the time. some even have a cross tattoo which is a lot more extreme than a person wearing underwear that appears kind of boring. up until the last century almost everybody wore underwear that covered from the neck to the ankles and judging by the fact that we are all here they must have found some way to engage in sexual activity and be attracted to each other. Now I will admit i am a big fan of sexy lingerie, but one look at 90% of the lovely things you'd find in Victoria's Secret and you gotta know those thing are not meant to be worn 24/7, that could not be comfortable. Some people may be confused about the garment but those of you who formerly wore them know that removal of the garment for sexual relationships is completely permissible. There's really nothing to mock here. Everybody wears underwear, unless you don't...whatever floats your boat. - 10/22/2008 - ben curdy

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I will stay anonymous on this one, but I thought that you should know that you are treading on very thin ice. I was not looking fo this site but it found me and I think that all of this is horific in the sight of God. I don't care if you are or are not a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, but this is a very sacred topic to many people and it should not under any ci$rcumstance be brought into public eye this way. If you are a member or were a member of this church than you have made some promises that go with this topic and if you are not you should show some respect not necessarily for our religion or for God but for the individuals that Know these things to be true and hold fast to them. Thank You. - 10/20/2008 - Filter

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I am a TBM and I think these stories are hilarious too. I actually can't believe how little you all know about the garments and what they mean. They aren't weird, and we definitely take them off for sex and other recreation activities (like at the beach). They are in a way like the phylacteries that the Jewish people wear on their heads to remind them daily about God. They remind me to think about Christ and God and help keep my mind clean and headed a good direction.

As for the funny stories, wow, I would encourage any of you to stop in the Salt Lake temple visitors center anytime you want for a real tour. - 10/13/2008 - Matt

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To everyone who says that mormons dont do these things.... lol you are full of sh!t lol, You just say that you dont so you dont seem weird.... Mormons put down religions all the time... Isn't telling them they will burn in hell if they dont join you putting them down - 10/06/2008 - Ex-Mo

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I find it funny that for someone who wants nothing to do with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-DAy Saints. You sure do spend a lot of time and energy bashing them. Wouldn't your time be better spent doing something else? I'm not a member of that church but I sure do have better things to do. plus every "mormon" i've ever know has been nothing but nice warm and friendly. always willing to put aside thier problems to lend a helping hand. Who care what they wear. it's more important to care about who they are individually. don't group them together just because of their religion. - 07/21/2008 - cupcakes

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I am sorry; I understand that we all have free agency. However, we as Mormons have a right to practice what we feel is the truth. We should also be able to do that with out things being made a public display of things we feel are very sacred. I am proud to be an American were we do have the freedom of speech and religion. I also know that there is adversity for everything. However, this site is made up of remarks that you all are going to be held accountable for. Obviously most people who have commented are former members of the church and have had their feelings hurt or excommunicated for one reason or another. The people that have sold their garments and their temple recommends are REALLY going to be in trouble. Good thing our God is a merciful one. He will take the true hearts of all of you and you will only be held accountable for the things you truly understand. I love the Gospel including my garments. I am grateful to be worthy of such an awesome responsibility. I am also aware that this most likely will not be posted to this site due to the fact that it's not bashing Mormons. I love my Savior Jesus Christ and all that has been given to me. If dressing modestly and having protection is asked of me I am grateful to do just that! - 05/30/2008 - Happy to be a Morman

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I like the current styling of mens briefs/garments, because they span the rear crease, and they don't bind in the crotch in front like Jockey or Fruit of The Loom briefs do. The old one piece things were either a rope in the rear crease, or gaped wide open. I don't wear garments under my shortie pajamas. - 10/24/2007 - Ralf

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I have been reading the stories above and they are HILARIOUS...I am seriously DYING of laughter here...the above comments are unbelievable! You are all pretty much morons. Do you REALLY think that Mormons have to keep them on during sex??? The poor woman who had her lingerie over her garments I can so only one thing for...she has GREATLY misenterpreted what "garmies" are all about. There are some unbelievable rumors and lies posted here that I would like to expell... I am a "TBM" and I have sex..lots of it...lingerie and all...with NO GARMENTS on...and guess what I hold a temple reccommend and everything!! Wow..am I apostaste...do i have to lie to my bishop...NO!! In fact EVERY MORMON I KNOW does not wear their garment while having sex...We can also take them off to swim...to sleep and cuddle and hold each other after sex and pretty much whenever we feel that it would be fine to take them off i.e recreation and sex. I know the doctrine quite well and No prophet ever said we had to wear them during sex. If you are a TBM and you do...or you were a TBM and you did ,you have surely miss the mark...and are either a moron or greatly mistaken...Do you know that the temple also has a special birthing room for unwed mothers...where they throw the illigitamate babies into the great salt lake.......CMoN people...get a brain, and stop blaming the church for all your problems.... - 11/28/2006 - anon

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Part of the rules for people who are unmarried is not to masturbate. If that rule is obeyed there are night-time consequences every now and then and the garments are the receptors for men. It's horrible and disgusting and is my biggest qualm with them. - 10/04/2006 - anon

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*ROFL* at some of the stories. 30 years of wearing g's...never had them get "stuck" *LOL* Some of the comments hit home for me. My experience:

I have to vote with the others who said g's are "comfy", yet I don't argue with anyone's discomfort. And I wonder...anything you don't want to wear...g's or anything else...is gonna be uncomfortable, true?

Maybe I'm an odd duck...but my underwear isn't what makes me feel I'm a woman...or sexy...I feel that way no matter what I have (or don't have) on me.*grin* I rebel when I see the Victoria Secret price tags! Who are they to tell me I'm not beautiful or sexy if I'm not wearing their lingerie!?

I agree heartily with those who speak of the worth of skin to skin cuddling...it's part of me & me hubby's intimacy...we dress/undress for bed not according to anyone's dictates, but according to what we as a couple want and need.

Protection? all different kinds of protection there are. Never seen/heard it said anywhere officially that it's protection from injury. No people are immune from urban legend. As for me..."just the facts ma'am" 11/09/2006 - the odd ducky

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I'm sorry you feel the need to bash others religions. If you do not feel that their church is true, then don't believe it. That is ridiculous that you have to belittle something or someone to make yourself feel better. You should be ashamed of yourself. You will have to wait and see how your punishment will come later. - 06/28/2006 - Anonymous

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I would never dare to make fun of someone elses religious beliefs, regardless of how silly they may seem to me. It really makes me sad that people would sink to the level of this. - 06/27/2006 - anon

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After going through the Temple ceremony (pre-1990) My husband and I decided that the whole thing was a big joke. During the ceremony some of the old chaps fell asleep and one of them started to snore and his hat fell off.

Only wore the garments for a week and then decided it was all a complete scam. I had my own garmy ceremony when I returned home. I lit a fire in the back yard and burned all of them there. Then thanked the gods that I had enough intelligence to see the absolute stupidity of it all.

If so called intelligent people can be fooled so easily what hope is there for the rest of us - 12/29/2005 - Rose 2005

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I am just so very curious as to why in the heck ANYONE would want to wear the Mormon garments if they don't need to. Why do so many people want to buy them and pay extortionate amounts of money for them on EBAY.

There is so much talk over something that most people (the ones talking about them) think is weird....Anything else better to talk about? Like what is in store for the people who wear them unworthily or those who once made covenants and broke them.... - 01/02/2006 - Sue

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I have a question: I'm an "NHBM" (Never Have Been Mormon) who attends Weber State and has lived in Utah for 10 years, and after having a disastrous experience dating a "TBM" I have sworn that I will never date one again. Needless to say this puts a serious crimp on my dating pool and I'm having an awfully hard time finding available "non" girls. I've finally figured out how to spot men's temple garments (they're very visible through most shirts, especially T-shirts) but I have no idea how to spot women's. Are most of the single students there even going to be wearing them? Of course, the CTR ring and the obnoxious "Utahnics" are a dead give-away to steer clear, but does anyone eles have any advice here? - 08/30/2005 - anon

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While looking for information for a Young Womens activity I came across your website. As I read some of your articles It brought me much sadness for you once active saints who have chosen to leave The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm not shocked, just sad that you good people have the time to tear apart something sacred as the Garments, apart and make it ugly. I am LDS and very thankful to be apart of a group of people who love the Lord and like me trying to live the best we can. Working hard to raise our families unto the Lord. Easy no. But nothing worth working for takes hard work. I am sorry that you good people have found some reason to be angry or bitter at. Like you I too have the agency to choose good or evil. I would think that you could use your time better by being a positive force in this crazy and busy world. Rather you are choosing to tear down that which is sacred and make it a joke or degrading. Shame on you all. There is enough negative in this world without you good people doing what you are doing. What ever reason you have for doing what you are doing you are only hurting yourselves and your families. These Sacred Garments that I wear 24/7 are a blessing to me and my familiy. I have no doubt and has not changed anything between my wonderful companion and I. We both love the lord and pray that you great people can choose to be a force for good instead of evil. - 01/30/2008 - Jodie ells

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Why would God, presuming he exists, be concerned about divine panties, blessed bloomers, and such? It is amazing to me how irrational the human animal continues to be... Unbelievable! In truth, it is terribly sad to see people behaving in such an absurd manner. 02/09/2008 - Rationalist

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Amusing site. I had never even heard of "Garments" before. So why don't you have a real picture of some? No, I don't mean on a person, just empty and laid out. I don't know what these "Magic markings" are. Let's see 'em! - 10/22/2003

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