Telestial Slamtoons


Enterprise attacks Margorie Hinckley near Kolob.

Gordon Hinckley's cane for sale at Deseret Book.

Question: Since when is NOT DYING an accomplishment?

Answer: When you never do anything else worth talking about -- but you carry the burden of doing the thinking for several million lemmings who worship you.

PS - But I don't know that we teach that.


Question: Who has more holes in his feet than Jesus?

Answer: Professor Daniel Petersen of FARMS, with all his footholes being accidentally self-inflicted. Don't laugh. It could happen to you, too, if you let a really old codger named Gordon Cane do all of your thinking for you.


Speaking of Gordon's cane, here is a photo from the new Deseret Book catalog selling replicas of the prophet's ambulation support device. Joseph Smith looks down from his eternal fuckfest - blueballed with envy:

It works really well, but you may have to shave the handle once in a while. And you may need to carry around the latest WYBG (WillowyYoung Black Girls) calendar to take another look at when your cane starts to go flaccid on you. "I hate it when that happens, but I don't know that we teach that." - 11/08/2006 - Blash

Gordy at the Dead Goat Saloon.

Mormon Jesus swallows.

Packer on Joseph Smith's manhood.

Elder Slug's missionary approach.

Elder Slug's missionary approach.
click image for more of Ghoulslimes graphic gosple goo.

Mormon God's cock in Mary's honeyhole.

Boyd K Packer masturbation police.

Mormon door knocker stopper.

Sister Jones hestitates to knock, but seeing there is no doorbell, and her knuckles are sore, she reationalizes her next move. - 04/22/2006 - Darrick Evenson

Comments Section

I love the telestial slamtoons I wish there were more of 'em. - 02/27/2006 - Jack

You might want to make a separate level for "Outer Darkness", put all R+ / XXX material in it, label it as "pornographic" rather than simply "graphic" or "offensive".

Aside from that, I love the site 100% - 02/26/2006 - reinventing grace

Editor's Note: Good suggestion. Click here now: Outer Darkness

I used to like Slamtoons, but I think they went too far this time.

In the telestial pictures, the very first one is blatantly pornographic. I was showing a questioning Mormon acquaintance the celestial pictures. She actually thought the site was funny--that is until we went to the telestial picture section.

I was shocked and angry at that section. COME ON! That is disgusting, not even one bit funny. When they say "Blasphemy of the more graphic nature", that was an understatement.

My friend now thinks the very worst of ex-Mormons, like we are all a bunch of perverted freaks.

I was so embarrassed. I will not be going back there. I highly recommend that nobody show the telestial section to anybody.

Somebody over there has one sick sense of humor. - 02/20/2006 - Bonnie


Post your comments in this text box.

Name or handle:

E-Mail - leave blank to remain anonymous:


More Telestial Slamtoons - Home - Site Map