Tar and Feather - Salamander Society Creative Captions

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Joseph Smith being tarred and feathered due to hitting on young women

"What do you mean you want your 'salad tossed'? Do I look like a chef?" - 12/17/2008 - Skunk Puppet

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As Duling Banjos is heard...."But I dont Want to squeal like a pig!!!!!" - 12/12/2008 - Anon

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Squeal piggy! Weeee! Weeeeee! - 12/01/2008 - Cole

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Don't hate the player! Hate the game! - 07/04/2008 - isalndgirl

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Joseph: You all and your leader Brigham Young, may take over the church and fuck it up for all, but "The Truth shall come out one day"!!!

Group: Kill him!!!! - 11/01/2008 - Jon

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Smith: No! I don't want to have a gay sex with you now! I was just all talk boys. - 10/10/2008 - anon

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Wha? She said she was 18, I swear! I was just showing her my divining rod - for revelations and stuff! I only gave her a blessing - see for yourself, I annointed her bosom! - 09/28/2008 - Joe Smitty

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I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have said that about your mother, but THIS SHIRT IS FROM NORDSTROM'S! - 04/21/2007 - anon

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Joseph Smith: Awk! I thought this new Axe Cologne would attract females!!! - 01/16/2007 - Primus

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"What, She was your sister? Ahh man, I-I-AH-I married her, YEAH that's it, I married her just like those guys in the Bible. You see I am a prophet and entitled to a few perks. Let me tell you a version of my first vision, I was Drunk....Errh I mean I was praying..." - 01/15/2007 - Red Pill

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Wow, they get pretty rough when they're throwing you off of 'American Idol.' - 05/06/2006 - Seneca

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Joseph: I hope you're ready for some good "Man Lovin"! - 02/01/2006 - Jason The Mason

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Joseph: Shit, you cant do this to me now - I have a date with several of you guy's daughters this weekend! - 02/01/2006 - The Darkside

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Joseph: Hey, I'm not Joseph Smith. Seriously! Look I'm blond, for hell sake I'm BLOND! Look at my nose, LOOK! I am good looking, I don't need a made up church to score hot chicks. I am just an actor, come on, use your eyes! I AM NOT JOSEPH! AAAAAAGH!!!! - 11/25/2005 - meinmachine

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Joseph: No! Really... the plates are over at Oliver Cowdery's house....REALLY! - 11/10/2005 - D.ELAM

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Angry Husband: How dare you send me on a mission for your church just so you could seduce my wife! We're gonna make sure you never excercise the power of your penishood again!

Joseph: No, please don't hurt Mr. Mel Kiza Dick! - 10/15/2005 - anon

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Treasure Hunter: You owe us big for all those failed treasure hunts you took us on! Now hand over those gold plates!

Joseph: It was all a joke I tell you! I never had any plates! I made it all up in order to get rich and score some fine ass. I swear! - 10/11/2005 - anon

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Joseph: But God's angel said he would kill me if I didn't have sex with your wives!

Mobster: God's angel, huh? I never heard any man give his dick a name like that! - 10/07/2005 - anon

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Mobster: That tar smells suspicious... Smells like poo, really. Better not question it, anyway, like the Church. - 10/06/2005 - SZF2001

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Joseph: What the hell! I asked for the pine sap aroma therapy treatment, that stuff smells like dead skunk guts!

Gruff Frontiersman: Oh, sorry that's me. Damn skunk sprayed me the other day and it hasn't wore off yet. - 10/06/2005 - helemon

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Joseph: Brethern help! The devil is trying to destoy me! I can feel him biting and clawing my flesh.

Gruff Frontiersman: Stop yur whine'n, it's just a little mouse. - 10/06/2005 - helemon

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Mobster: What the hell is this mesh undershirt he's wearing?! - 10/03/2005 - anon

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Joseph Smith was and is a great man. I find it remarkably offensive that you would mock his pain. He endured so many things for the sake of the people. For all of you even! You shouldn't squander his sacrifice. Heavenly Father loves you for petesake! He loves all of us! Joseph Smith died as a martr. I know for a fact that he was a true prophet of God. And F.Y.I. because of this retarded mob his baby died of exposure! HOW DARE YOU BE SO VILE! I'm not asking you to change your opinions, I'm just asking you to keep them to yourself! And by the way the mesh undergarment is very sacred. Don't talk of them so horribly! Just look at the pain on his face! What if that was someone very dear to you? Joseph Smith deserves to be respected! I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. - 12/17/2008 - Seriously Offended

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This really happened...how dare you people make horrid remarks about something you do not even know about. Joseph Smith was and always will be a great man! - 04/21/2007 - a follower

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