Inspired by the use of Heads-Up Displays during General Conference, Elder Shneebley created a pair of his own. - 04/29/2005 - from Uziyahu

Honey, are you sure this is how our wedding night is supposed to work? It seems a little...improper. 03/03/2005 - from Jaeld

After seeing damning DNA evidence against the church the elder straps scriptures over his eyes. (out of site, out of mind.) - 01/16/2005 - anon

While out tracting Elder Green discovered a strange artifact of curious workmanship. After much prayer the spirit revealed to him that it was an ancient Nephite headdress. - 12/22/2004 - anon

Having a tendency to forget his scriptures LaDell decides to strap miniature copies of the BoM and Bible to his head. - 12/24/2004 - anon

Elder Schwartz decided that if the Zone leader was going to keep riding him over his low baptism rate he might as well dress the part. - 12/22/2004 - anon

Elder Green's senior companion told him that this would increase his ability to feel the spirit. Meanwhile Elder Green's companion would sneak out to feel the girl in the apartment next door. - 12/22/2004 - anon

Due to his companions tendency to walk about the apartment without the protection of his garments and flaunting his endowment while singing Hold to the Rod, the Iron Rod, Roger began wearing blinders whenever he was in the apartment. - 12/22/2004 - anon

Disgusted by his new companions horrible table manners Elder Price begins wearing blinders at the dinner table. - 12/22/2004 - anon

This early Church artifact was invented by Emma Smith for Joseph Smith to try to slow down Joseph's accumulation of new celestial wives. Despite its similarity to the Urim and Thumim (Urine and ThumbIn) Joe refused to wear this implement. Emma's next piece "the mantle of the priesthood" looked amazingly like a chastity belt but Joe was dead by then. - 12/20/2004 - from Paul Maughan

After telling his bishop about his homosexual orientation, the young man was promptly prescribed the "portable shocking unit" to cure him of this abomination. Of course, these units never existed. - 12/20/2004 - Jeffrey Holland and Ernie Wilkinson

Everything I see confirms that the church is true....Alma All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth... Nephi I don't know that we teach than Hinckley - 12/20/2004 - from Saul

And thus was Bill totally blindsided by the truth. - 12/20/2004 - Stray Mutt

The blinders didn't work. Elder Packer discovered he could find his little factory even with his eyes closed. - 12/20/2004 - from SD

Elder Justin Boise decided if it worked for the horses in the field, it would work for him. Now he only sees what his CTR blinders allow him to see. These blinders protect the Elder from seeing any immodest women who bare their shoulders or ankles. - 04/12/2004 - T-Bone

Elder Packer suddenly realized he couldn't see his own penis. But a nanosecond later, he also realized he didn't need to see it because it reminded him of the little factory that was working overtime at the moment. - 12/20/2004 - Pee Wee Herman

Finding the whole armor of God too uncomfortable to wear, Duwayne opts for the less demanding option of blind faith to protect his soul from the devil. - 12/20/2004 - anon

After having lost his last companion in a deadly car crash, Elder Benson decided he should wear blinders when driving past the local nudist colony. - 12/17/2004 - anon

Similar to the Urim & Thummin these magical blinders cause the wearer to see only that which is faith promoting and supports church doctrine. - 12/17/2004 - Boyd K Packer

After having had several beer bottles hurled at him while out tracting Elder Stokes decided he should start wearing eye protection. - 12/17/2004 - anon

After having messed up the sacrament pray a record 33 times in one meeting Devon's Bishop forced him to wear blinders that had the sacrament prayers taped to the inside so he could study them where ever he went. - 12/13/2004 - anon

Another fine product from the Boyd K Packer line of masturbation reduction tools. Not only do these blinders help prevent the young man from being distracted by beautiful women but they also contain the words to "Called to Serve" so that the Elder can banish those impure thoughts as soon as they enter his mind. - 12/13/2004 - anon

Blind obedience? Come on! I'm smarter than that. Blind obedience is for my dog. - 12/09/2004 - cricket