Fellowshipping Fiascos

Mormon fellowship irritation Mormon fellowship solicit. How to irritate mormon fellowshipping

Mormon ministering meddlers who annoy, harrass and just bug the hell out of non-Mormons or in-actives require a more direct approach in order for the "get out of my face" message to register. Please submit your story in the box below.

Click her to get advice on how to deal with those pesky "Mormon Stalkers."

My Parents Have Become Brainwashed With Mormonism

08/12/20122 - by Kelley U

My father was raised Mormon. Very luckily, he was away from the Church, a non-practicing Mormon as I was raised. As an intellectual, he worked to understand beautiful questions about life. He is a Molecular Biophysicist. About six years ago, my mother- who was never earlier a Mormon- decided to convert with a LDS Church family in Portugal.

Since that time, I don't recognize my parents. I remember crawling onto the floor as a twenty four year old post graduate student form Columbia University- and bursting into tears when Dad told me that my Mom had converted and that 'he wasnt convinced yet.' Dad raised questions with Mormons in Alabama, asking them to consider evolution, etc.

I tried my best to be OK with it; but, as the years have passed, I do not recognize them as parents. I recognize them as brain-washed. They will say whatever lie they need to tell to defend themselves and their religion. From "we dont spend that much time with the church." when they spend overly thirty hours a week, to many other issues. They want me to convert, but they're entirely manipulative in going about it.

They often speak to me- a female- as if they have an ownership over me that I have not ever heard other parents exhibit. They re-write disagreements to their favor, and no matter what is done- they will defend the other (including physical child abuse). They tell me that, though I left for medical school in Europe, even there there were Mormons, that Mormons are taking over the world in shear numbers, and that the only place to find a good husband is in Mormonism. It's a force that, according to them, if I know best for myself- cannot and should not be reckoned with.

I beg to differ. And, I ask for your help and words of encouragement in keeping it off of me.

I have lost them, but I can find a new family.

Been trying for months to get this innactive kid

01/15/2007 - by C. Moore

We had been trying for months to get this innactive kid in our ward to come to church. He had been ordained a Deacon a few months before and the bishop was hounding us to get him activated.

Not long after, in mid-winter, we were sitting on the bench just about ready to stand up and pass the sacrament. Suddenly, in comes this innactive kid. We motioned to him to come and help pass. He walked up to the front of the chapel, peeled off his coat and took his assignment. After the prayer was said, we stood up and received out trays of bread. It was then that we noticed that this saintly innactive kid was wearing a white 'Coors' T-shirt.

He took his tray and began to pass. When the bishop noticed, he about had a nervous breakdown right on the stand. After the sacrament, we all exited the chapel and had a great laugh. To a bunch of heathen deacons, it was relegated as the funniest moment in our lives to that point.

The Church seems to be pissing the members off with changes in the hometeaching program

12/19/2006 - Rubicon

My dad and his hometeaching partner are about as TBM as you can get but they were horribly unhappy if not angry with the new way the church is pushing the hometeaching program and what the hometeachers are expected to do now.

The bishop wants the hometeachers to ask their families if they are attending the temple, if they are having personal and family prayer, and if they are reading their scriptures. My dad got angry and told the bishop it sounded like he was trying to get the hometeachers to do his job. The bishop had his handbook in hand and read something where it was appropriate for the HT's to ask those questions as long as it didn't deal with personal worthyness issues.

My dad grumbled that the church had turned into a corporation and that they are going to run people off. I try not to talk about the church because it ends up in an argument and my parents are old and in poor health. I figure they aren't going to change and so why stir an argument up.

I just told my dad that is one major reason I left. He didn't say anything, he just sat there mad. I just told my dad, bishops come and go, you've been hometeaching for how long? Just do it the way you normally do.

My dad got angry again and said he has to account for what he does in the dam Personal Priesthood Interviews every month. I said don't go to those or if you do, tell them what you are telling me.

My dad is old and tired of this sh*t. The church is making him miserable and he won't leave because he wants to conform and he puts up with the BS at church because he wants to be part of the team and not a black sheep.

It never ends. Get out of it if you don't believe it because the church will make you miserable your whole life.

All this nosing into the members business through hometeachers is going to only drive more people out and make the ones who stay miserable. The fanatics will get off on it.

The church just doesn't get it. They tighten their grip to keep people from escaping but that only drives more through their fingers.

1960's suburban Washington, DC open house

11/06/2005 - Stray Mutt

It was the mid '60s in suburban Washington, DC, and our stake had finished a new chapel. (For those of you in that area, I'm talking about the building in Annandale, off Gallows Road.) Naturally, it was decided to have an open house. Fliers were sent out to the surrounding neighborhood -- a golden missionary opportunity, right?

Well, the thing was, at that time and place, an "open house" was also a teen dance party open to anyone who would like to come. They were often held at churches. So all during our stuffy cultural hall gathering -- complete with red punch and Jell-O concoctions -- teenagers kept wandering in wanting to know where the dance was. Since I was one of the few people their age (Dad was the bishop, so I had to attend, of course), the kids usually asked me. I was embarrrassed to explain what was really going on and then have them look at me like I was somehow responsible for the confusion and their wasted time.

Meanwhile, various ward members were getting bent out of shape because all these young people were showing up dressed "inappropriately."

My only consolation was that I didn't go to the same high school as the kids in that area.

Hi, I'm Brother Laman

12/13/2004 - Brother Laman

Mormon LDS Satan falling from sky and grace.

And you thought we were going to say that there's a spaceship behind that comet! No, we're not THAT whacked out, but we're pretty wacky! heh heh heh

Hi, I'm Brother Laman, and I'm one of the friendly Mormons that just moved in across the street. I haven't bothered to meet you or anyone else yet, because I'm basically distrustful of anyone who doesn't doesn't subscribe to my trite little set of beliefs. But it's been 18 months, and I'd like to take the opportunity now to introduce myself and make a really fake, transparent attempt at friendship so that I can rope you into my religion – well and also so that can I borrow your powertools without returning them. I'm not completely insincere!

You know, God has a plan for you. It's an ethnocentric plan that involves large donations, wearing a suit all the time, and storing large quantities of winter wheat in your basement. I'd like to invite you to partake in God's plan by sitting through a set of high–pressure sales presentations from our missionaries. We'll show you more love than you've ever known. That is, until you're baptized. Then we'll neglect you like the outsider that you are.

As a sign of our friendship, I'd like to give you a copy of The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. I've never read this book, but I know it's true. And I'd like you to have that knowledge as well. Please come visit me at any time so that I can indoctrinate you with my oddball beliefs and then try to sell you melaleuka oil.

Looking forward to hearing from you, neighbor! ;)

What WAS that burning feeling, anyway?

07/01/2004 - dansheehan84

This is a true story, about me and my family (all TBM's, except me).

My brother, a recent RM, and his girlfriend were going through the family intervue process, to determine if we liked her enough to let her into the family. Well, after a couple hours of talking about the holy spirit, going to church, and temple blessings, I was getting pretty tired of the whole thing. So, I zoned out.

The conversation turned to the story of how my Dad decided to propose to my Mom. I've heard this story many times. They had known eachother for 3 days, and they were on the phone. My dad told her he'd call right back, and hung up.

"After I hung up, I got down on my knees, and it wasn't a full minute before I felt that burning sensation..."

Here's where I broke out of my zone.

I chirped, before he could say anything else, "Gonorreah?"

The room was silent for a full 15 minutes. My brother's girlfriend hasn't visited since.

Both elders looked at him with wide eyes!

11/15/2002 - just me

When I was a good little mormon girl, I talked my nevermo husband (ok, not that good ... because I didn't marry a RM) into taking the mishy discussions. He was on the final lap of the discussions and the day had come to set his baptismal date. The mishy's came over and we all sat down and the questioning began.

My husband drank the evil coffee and also smoked! MY oh MY! He was firmly (but lovingly ... YA RIGHT!) instructed by the mishy's that he MUST quit smoking at least seven days before his baptism ... the same went for his coffee consumption.

I will never forget the look on my hubby's face. He sat their silently listening as both the elders droned on, all at the same time with a grin on his face from one ear to the other. They went on and on justifying why he had to quit, as to rid his body of the toxins so that he could be clean upon the day of his baptism and free from stimulants!

When they had finished, there was a pause and silence in the air. The only thing that still was evident in the room was the smile still shining on his face. After a few moments, he broke the silence.

He said, "What happens if I struggle with my addiction to nicotine and have problems quitting after I am baptized?" By the way, he is still grinning when he asked this question.

They responded back to him, that they had seen this problem with other 'converts' and the church had an organization in place that they could refer him to that would help him stop smoking if he was unable to do it on his own after he was baptized!

... another lull ... still smiling ... by now, I knew he was up to no good and these young men were about to get a lesson in life, like no other!

He broke the silence again, "You mean I can't smoke 7 days before I am baptized, but if I smoke after, I can attend this Stop Smoking class?"

The elders answered in the affirmative.

My hubby was setting them up good, as I knew his intentions were to quit smoking all together and this really wasn't the issue!

... another lull ... still smiling ... He said, "elders, it is not the fact that I smoke or don't smoke that is the issue here today. The fact that 'YOUR GOD' would propose such a preposterous thing of me, to join what you refer to as His 'TRUE CHURCH' is, the issue! What you have just explained to me is that 'YOUR GOD' will not take me where I am today in my life, but that I must be something that 'YOUR CHURCH' believes that I should be in order to 'obtain' the blessings of the one 'TRUE CHURCH'. You elders are better teachers than you realize. You have just taught me today that 'YOUR GOD' is not the God I choose to worship, now or ever, and that 'YOUR CHURCH' is not one of truth or of 'CHRIST'!

He begin to rise from a seated position as both elders looked at him with wide eyes! They were ABSOLUTELY STUNNED! SPEECHLESS! He continued ... "boys, please escort yourselves out of my home as you know where my door is and do not ever come back. Do not call, or ever come back by as you will not be welcome in our home!"

My hubby turned on his heels, and calmly walked down the hallway with the smile still on his face and shaking his head!

I too had picked up his smile by that time, and had an 'AH HA' moment of reality! What truth in his words he spoke that I had never seen before. If the church was true, there would not be conditions on baptism. Baptism is a promise between the person and God, not the person and the church! My sweet hubby had it right! The elders had it wrong!

They started to try and save the moment by appealing to me that they were misunderstood! I politely told them that we understood them perfectly, and I asked them to follow me to the door where I told them to have a great day as I closed the door behind me, leaving them standing on my stoop, in a stupor!

It was a great day at my house that day. It was the beginning of my journey out of mormonism which finalized itself for good about 5 years later! It was exactly what I needed to let all those questions that had been nagging me for all those years (I was a BIC baby) that I had pushed down so deep, gently resurface so I could face them one by one ... walk through them to find that there was a life, and a damn good one, outside of the church!

My family still are all TMB's, so I occasionally have conflicts, but my days are much brighter now thanks to that little journey my hubby took that day he didn't set his baptismal date!

Kiwi Un-Fellowship

11/02/2001 - anon

I had a member living in a church lease house block as an act of charity extended by the president to let me stay at the house until I found work. I traveled 800 kms back to move into this house interstate. When I got there the next day the high priest who took it upoun himelf to tell people what to do, started ordering me around and never new of the arrangement with the president. I got my car robbed the night before. Their was no room or suitable accomodation on arrival. I slept on an old couch. The president said it was OK to come up. That I stay a couple of weeks. I was judged by this other Native Kiwi member, over on a working visa. I left.

I let members from New Zealand stay free in my house... Strenthen your brethren..... What had this guy learned about charity?

Joseph Smith Sunday

10/28/2001 - Gazelem

In the mission, we had an investigator we were trying to convince that we did not worship Joseph Smith. He finally agreed to come to church on Sunday. It just happened to be Joseph Smith Sunday, all the songs, talks etc, and the Sunday school lessons were all about his life, how great he was, etc. I was extremely embarrased when everyone started singing "Praise to the Man." Needless to say, we never saw that guy again.

Hold To Which Rod? - A Sunday in My Life

10/26/2001 - Byron

First of all, you need to know that I am not making this story up. This happened to me this past Sunday.

I live with a Very True Believing Mormon spouse, have three boys, I have TBM parents who have become more "righteous" than ever since I have left.

The day started with my 9 year old coming up to me and saying "Daddy, I'm scared because you are going to hell because you don't beleive in Jesus." Imagine that, he's nine years old and already the church has had this effect. He's been very concerned about my salvation the past three weeks, I've been busy studying for an examination I am going to take and haven't been there to take them to the UU church every other week as I usually do. I think four weeks in a row of Mormon indoctrination has taken it's toll.

Well, after this I had a "civil" discussion with my wife and after pleading with her to talk to our kids about absolutes, she refused. Well, the discussion turned a bit nasty and tempers flaired a bit.

I left to go study, feeling helpless and not knowing just what to do. It lingered with me all day. okay, so now you know my state of mind, so on to the good part of the story.

My brain was pretty much fried by 5 pm, and I remembered that my parents were holding a birthday dinner for my little sister who is leaving on a mission next month. So I packed up and made my way there.

Dinner was delicious, but afterward, the talk migrated toward what it always seems to migrate toward.. church stuff. So I made my way into the family room and turned on the baseball playoffs.

A minute later my mother came in and said "Um... Byron...We have been encouraged recently not to watch TV on sundays, as it hinders the feeling of peace whe should have."

Whatever, I guess it is her house and so I turned off the TV and walked back into the living room to say my farewell. Before I said anything though, my mom pipes up. "While you are all here, I was going to ask you to help hang a curtain rod, but was afraid it might be breaking the Sabbath." As she said this she was staring right at me.

So of course I found a little opening and said "Well, I'm going to hell anyway, so if God wants to punish me for helping my parents, he can go ahead." So I walked down the hall to her bedroom to get the curtain rod that was on her bed.

As I came out of the room, I noticed that everyone had become very quiet. All I could hear was the kids playing in the basement. Nobody was talking, I mean, dead silence. Then, as I turned the corner, My entire family began to sing. "Hold to the Rod, The Iron Rod, tis strong and bright and true...."

At first I thought it was just a sick joke.. but I looked over and my Mother was weeping. So I just stood there, dumbfounded.

After the singing, I could feel the anger begin to boil up inside me. I think this was the last straw. I don't know what kind of reaction they were looking for. I guess they thought they were going to get a story for the New Era or something. You know..."As soon as he heard the song, and looked down at the iron Rod clasped in his hands, the spirit of God fell upon him and he repennted of his sins, and returned to the fold of God... He is now a Mission President in Zimbabwe....."

Instead, I felt my hands drop the curtain rod (My mother did not even really need it installed) my right hand grabbed my crotch and I shook it at them saying "THIS is the ONLY rod I'll be holding onto. If you can't accept me for who I am you can all go fuck off!!!!" And I left running.

So now it is Tuesday. I work with my father here. He has said nothing. My mother has said nothing. My sister in law has cursed my name.

Oh well, just another Sunday in Zion.

Families First MY ASS!

09/20/2001 - anon

My family is Mormon. It goes back a long ways. My grandmother left my grandfather for religious differences. My family came right out of the heart of Zion. I refuse to name proper places for fear that I may be tracked down & hounded.

I was born in Utah on Brigham Young's birthday. My parents attended BYU. They separated due to differences in belief 3 years after my birth. I was raised in the Mormon church by my single mother. I finally refused to attend at age 14. I got my girlfriend pregnant at 15 & was a father by 16. That's just what a boy who was raised Mormon does.

We married & I joined the military at 17. My mother continued to be a practicing Mormon throughout my adulthood. It was a pleasant enough marriage & we even had a 2nd son. My wife asked many questions about Mormons & I answered honestly about my experiences in the church which weren't positive or negative in nature.

I no longer believed this mumbo jumbo & I took the opportunity to educate my wife on religions of the world & differing theories of God or a supreme being. I have no proof but my mother was a practicing Mormon & tried to be a good little missionary. My wife was finally baptised but continued to have questions that were readily answered by the local missionaries. I never objected to their intrusion on my life & took great fun in challenging their inferior knowledge of the books. Many a time they had to consult their bishop & have him come over to attempt an answer to an impossible question.

I eventually left the military & pursued a good career which allowed me to pay off all my debt & purchase a home. I was out of the military about 2 years when the classic Mormon pictures of Jesus started showing up around the house. I finally drew the line on the picture of a temple next to 2 wedding cake figures.

I left my wife. She remarried another convert 15 years older than her within 30 days of our divorce. My oldest son wanted to leave the church at 14 & was forced to attend church every week. After several calls were placed to the police for his Mormon step-father physically abusing him, I finally decided to spend $17k to attempt to free him from this prison. He now lives with me & a wonderful woman who is very understanding, self reliant & smart. Things my ex-wife never had. When I think about it she was always ripe to be converted.

My youngest son still lives in the abusive household & begs to come & be with us all. It breaks my heart every day to think of the pain this religion has inflicted on me & my family. Families First MY ASS! Any True Believing Mormon who even thinks about responding to this had better re-read what I have written. I have read many True Believing Mormon posts that have said, "move on, find something productive to do with your time" or "why don't you just leave the Mormons alone?"

To you I say this: The Mormon church is a scourge & cancer upon our world unleashed by a clever 14 year old boy & those that were foolish enough to follow him. It has ruined me, my children & my entire family. Exponential growth begets exponential death. YOU are the weakest link.

Reverse Fellowship Backfires

07/20/2001 - anon

After I got kicked out of BYU for yanking the skirts off a couple of uptight Mormon puppies, I headed north to Idaho State and hitched up with this gal named Ingrid. She had transferred from a big party school in the mid-west because she loved the mountains and skiing.

However, I had not entirely cleared the Mormon realm of influence. At the end of our first date Ingrid asked me about my religion and if I was really serious about all these things like gold plates and disembodied Biblical characters roaming the woods, etc. I playfully replied not as serious as I am about you, and I kissed her. She invited me in to her room and we ended up in bed together. (All her fault.)

Ingrid was kinda cute and kinda chunky. She obsessed about her weight and wouldn't get undressed with the lights on. She told me that she used to be much thinner and much better looking. She even claimed that she had been a cheerleader at her previous college. But she had gotten depressed, drank too much beer, and let herself go. I didn't think she looked that heavy, especially in comparison with some of the herefords at BYU and it really wasn't an issue with me.

Ingrid and I both had strong but unpredictable influences on each other. We would get into these terrible fights and scream at each other. Her interest in the church increased and she began to take the missionary lessons. I began to seriously question the faith and told her every dark scandalous detail I could find. I mean how genuine could these spiritual experiences be if your part-time shack-up girlfriend is having them?

The more I apostacized the more Ingrid's faith grew and the more she tried to save my soul. She started dieting in a bizarre attempt to gain more self-esteem and power in the relationship. After loosing about 30 lbs she really did look wonderful, the lights came on when we were in bed and I was suppose to appreciate her more, which I did. And since she was so beautiful I was now suppose to believe her testimony.

One day Ingrid informed me she was getting baptized. She gave me an ultimatum: either make her an honest woman by proposing to her and promise to take her to the temple to be married in a year, or else the affair was over. Either way, no more causal fooling around. She had accepted the challenge from the sister misionaries to strictly live the Law of Chastity.

I knew I had to let Ingrid go. My reasoning may not have been completely coherent, but it went something like this. First I wasn't at all certain that they'd ever let me back in the temple, sexual transgression or not, after what I'd discovered in church history. The Bishop would focus on my fornication and totally ignore my more serious theological difficulties. Second it seemed unfair that it was so much easier for Ingrid to repent of the same sins than I. Its not like she wasn't raised in a fine Lutheran home, more strict than my sorry family. Third, I really couldn't see how it was any of the business of the Bishop. If I immediately married her civially and kept screwing her, then it would probably be alright to go to the temple in a year.

But if we got engaged and didn't marry and I didn't lay another hand on her sacred body, then I get excommunicated. And this was the course of action recommended by a couple of sister missionary hags beholdened to geriatric prophets and geezer mission presidents, who were probably both virgins and had zero experience in these matters. Besides, Ingrid had grown so physically attractive that I would be having difficulty hanging on to her for very much longer anyway. Finally she had become so obnoxious, controlling, and over-zealous that I could hardly stand being around her, except in bed of course.

Does this not qualify as a real fellowshipping fiasco? I mean from my perspective, I loose one of the most gorgeous girls to ever be bedded in the Utah-Idaho region- to the damn sister missionaries and the institute crowd! It is bad enough when the Mormons drive people off and insult them. But isn't it even a bigger fiasco for their former friends when the Mormons actually succeed in capturing a new convert?

"You need to have Faith!" argument - An approach from integrity

07/18/2001 - Grant from the recovery bulletin board

When I tell True Believing Mormons that I simply can't bring myself to believe the Book of Mormon and Book of Abraham I get the "You need to have faith!" argument all the time. So here is my responce:

I say: "For me its like a newly married couple. The wife loves the husband and is certain that he loves her.

"One day he comes home and she can smell a strange perfume on his shirt. But since she has faith in him, she simply disregards it.

"A few days later she notices lipstick on his collar and this time, (kind of jokingly), she asks him where the lipstick came from. His answer is somewhat stretched and convoluted but she has faith in him so she accepts what he says and tries to put it out of her mind.

"As time goes on she comes across more glaring evidences that he is having an affair and each time the explanations he provides become more convoluted and less plausible. He also starts making implied threats that, if she continues this line of questioning, he will leave her.

"Added to her worries is the fact that when she confides in family and friends about her concerns they all tell her that they "know" he is a good man and that she needs to have more faith in him. They also make it clear that they will side with him if things go bad. 'After all', they say,'Isn't he a good provider? Isn't he good for the children?'

I then ask "At what point does her "faith" in her husband stop being faith and start being denial (or simply acceptance of a bad situation and trying to make the best of it)? Is it when she sees him having dinner with a strange woman and does nothing? Or is it when she finally sees him in bed with another woman and still does nothing?

I then continue on "I am just like that woman. For me, I have tried my entire life to explain away the evidences that I have found against the BofM and BofA and simply can't and still keep my integrity. I've even fasted and prayed for years to determine if they were true. And so I've come to the conclusion that in order for me to maintain my integrity I have no choice but to reject these books as fictional and therefore, the Church as man-made.

"This is not to say that I believe the Church is evil because I know that it does have a lot of good things in it. Its just that at 43 years of age I've finally concluded that I no longer believe the Church is true and I never will. And if I don't have integrity at age 43, just exactly when was I planning on getting it?"

During this whole conversation I try my best to NOT turn this into an attack on them and their beliefs. I make sure they understand that this has been MY experience and not intended as an attack on their beliefs or their integrity. In fact, if they DO believe it, then their integrity would require them to stay active in the Church.

03/20/2000 - Cheryl
Few organizations under our form of government would refuse to allow a person to resign. The Mormons and the Mafia are the exceptions. Even telephone solicitors must remove your name from their list upon request. Normal assertiveness rules don't work with heavy handed CULTS.

True story: A friend of mine had asked, pleaded and demanded to be left out of Mormon fellowshiping tactics. Finally after over 20 years she told them that they could excommunicate her or whatever was necessary to be left alone. She just asked that they wait a few weeks because she did not want her elderly TBM mother upset as she had less than a month to live. The Mormons saw this as an opportunity to pressure her back in. They rushed paper work hoping that the mother's pleas would convince her to return to the sheep fold. Of course this inspired more bitterness in my friend and hastened the mother's death. Mormons have serious public relations problems! They refuse to respect what they call free agency. They often follow the laws of a democratic land only with much kicking and screaming.

03/17/2000 - anon
Personally I'm not afraid of the police and once things get to court its pretty easy to high-horse around on the first ammendment so you'd eventually loose if you went down that path. Unfortunately most Bishops are pretty lilly-livered and have never even gotten a traffic ticket so they tend to be scared shitless of the cops. Never got over their grand parents being cohabs out hiding in the mountains from the feds.

You got that part right. But for me there's nothing like a right damn good feud to spice up life. Generally when friends attack my church I play a little game of "Well if you think thats bad, haven't you heard about..." In most cases I don't even have to lie. That's one of the things about Mormonism that I love: so damn many really good skeletons in the closet.

03/09/2000 - Jerry the Aspousetate
My wife said you wanted to hear another version of how to speed up the process of dumping mormons. My way is not for everyone but it will open your mind to possibilities of not following their rules.

I have never been a mormon and have zero respect for the cult. As a child I was raised a holy roller and dumped it at an early age. Mormons are simply holy rollers from the 1800s who dropped the rolling on the floor, talking in tongues, added some Masonic Temple crap, secret underware, etc.

When we were married we considered ourselves as not belonging to any church. The mormons, of course, do not believe in live and let live. My wife, descended from mormons back to Joseph Smith's time, in a state of professionalism, said all we had to do was tell them we were not interested and eventually they would take the hint.

They didn't take the hint for 25 years even though they had the door slammed and me flipping birds in their faces. They sent her tithing bills, requests for recipes, and brought X-mas presents. One Xmas when someone calling himself a "Bishop" showed up with a Book of Mormon wrapped in red paper I told him where to shove it. There is no sunshine in that location.

After 25 years my wife gave me a free hand. I proceeded immediately to the local police department, gave them my business card (I am a CPA), and told them I was going to the local mormon culthole (church) and would they like to come along. They declined but knew what I was up to in case they got an emergency call.

I walked in on a Wednesday night into the office and told the first man I saw that I had just come from the police department and if he didn't like anything I said he could call the cops. I told him he had decided he wanted my wife to be a mormon so I wanted his wife to be a whore. Seems fair to me, don't you think?

He turned red, white and blue when I told him I was just the person to teach his wife her new role in life since he had been after mine for 25 years. I kept asking how many wives he had and said I could start a whole whorehouse with his wives.

This man was a total stranger to me. As it turned out he was not even the one they call "her Bishop." This was just a lucky break because then he had to explain the ass-reaming he got to "her Bishop" later. I think many mormons say they want out but still play by the cult rules. I don't. I had no interest in what format they require a letter to resign and wouldn't spend 10 cents calling some zombie in Salt Lake.

You should also note I did not ask for her name to be removed, only emphasizing my plans for the man's wife. I demanded no contact whatsoever from the cult. I laced my conversation with vicious language and called the man a polygamist every few words. Almost immediately after that night my wife got a letter saying her name would be taken off in 30 days. I did not thank them for letting her out but rather went back to the police and told them this was yet another example of unwanted communications.

In the letter it also had the name of the next bigger scum - I think called Stake President - and I went to the police in his city as well. We haven't heard a word from them in seven years.

If I haven't shocked you and you want a copy of the letter I sent to the police send me your address. Good luck to you. If following their rules doesn't work for you try thinking outside their cultbox. Feel free to forward this to anyone who might benefit. The bottom line of what I am saying is if you REALLY want out you can get out by giving back some of their own medicine. They can dish it out but they can't take it. They are really gutless wimps underneath their secret underwear!


Post your story or comments in this text box.

Name or handle:

E-Mail - leave blank to remain anonymous:


Home - Site Map